Now you can order my new CD online with a credit card! Click on the link at my album page to do it
-- or head for Mustard Seed on Sidney Simons Boulevard, and ask for "One God Many Moods." And while you're here, enjoy some humorous thoughts about the area I call home.

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4 DEC 03: THAT FUNNY FEELING

The last time I picked up dinner at Wendy's on Victory Drive, I broke bad news to the staff about Michael Vick's injury. [16 Aug] The other night as I ate dinner there, the news came to me - but don't worry, I'm pleased to report I was NOT injured in any way.

As I enjoyed a two-burger night at Wendy's, a man with a big straight-up Afro hairstyle walked in. My first thought at the sight was: "Everything old is new again."

Yet a problem developed as the man tried to buy dinner. I noticed Tammy the cashier behind the Wendy's counter holding a ten-dollar bill up to the ceiling lights several times. Either she had doubts about the bill's authenticity, or she was requiring anyone with large bills to recite serial numbers.

A Wendy's manager came to the counter, apparently at Tammy's request. She tried to convince the manager she was holding a counterfeit ten-dollar bill, but he seemed skeptical. After all, it didn't have President Bush's picture on it....

I sat too far away to hear most of the conversation, but it ended with "Afro-man" walking away from Wendy's with his alleged ten-dollar bill in hand instead of a sackful of supper. Other fast-food places might have treated him differently - say, letting him have his way at Burger King.

The customer didn't seem to put up much of an argument over that ten-dollar bill. He simply walked to his car and drove away. I'm thankful for that -- as yes, the thought DID occur to me in that restaurant that he might reach for an AK-47, come back and open fire.

As I walked out the door, the journalist side of me had to stop and ask Tammy the cashier about that bill. She explained she held the bill up to the light because you can see a security line running through it. I tried this at home Wednesday night -- and indeed a vertical line says, "USA-TEN." No, it does NOT say, "Lobby Congress for more tax cuts."

Tammy told me she added another line to that alleged ten-dollar bill - and showed me a black Marks-A-Lot pen. That pen probably has other uses at a Wendy's restaurant. For instance, identifying a robbery suspect by the ink on his hand or shirt....

Tammy's tipoff to trouble with the ten-dollar bill was that "it felt funny." Hmmmm - like Wendy's customers who eat too many items from the Biggie menu.

Speaking of marked money: have you ever received a bill with the "Where's George" web site written on it? I was handed one on laundry day a few weeks ago - and I feared I might have to leave my clothes in the washer, rushing off after the change machine spat it back at me.

"Where's George" is a curious (play on words) web site, which allows you to track the serial numbers of dollar bills as they're passed around. This assumes everyone who receives a marked bill goes online and enters the information. If they don't, you may have given money to a mobster.

I first saw a marked "Where's George" bill a year or two ago, while eating dinner with my Pastor at Chef Lee's on Bradley Park Drive. That was truly a test of discipline - because my Pastor's very pro-Republican, and Presidential jokes would have put me in SO much trouble.

Now for some scattered notes from the Wednesday news....

+ Russell County Probate Judge Al Howard warned county commissioners they risk being impeached, for returning LeAnn Horne-Jordan to the Administrator's job. Hopefully reporters will head for Kinko's, to catch Tillman Pugh showing up to copy petitions.

(P.S. to the Wednesday discussion about changing Phenix City's government: Can you imagine what would happen in Columbus if officials tried to dump the City Manager after he left town for reserve duty? Jim Rhodes would be marching outside the Government Center with a bullhorn.)

+ Georgia state officials announced a federal bill will provide $500,000 for a new "regional transit system" in Clay, Quitman, Randolph and Stewart Counties. This will replace that area's current transit system - any neighbor with a working car.

+ Doctors in Athens reported University of Georgia Athletic Director Vince Dooley has a gastric ulcer. Well, we all know the man we can blame for THAT, don't we? Shall we send the bill to President Michael Adams's home, or his office?

+ The Auburn University Alumni Association wrote a letter to Alabama Governor Riley, demanding administrators and trustees be fired for making that football coach recruiting trip to Louisville. The letter calls that trip a "national embarrassment" - as if the shutout loss to Southern Cal was not.

COMING FRIDAY: Oh no, I have to break my "mall freeze!" What will happen?....