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6 DEC 03: MISTER KNOW-IT-ALL?

For some strange reason, my co-workers sometimes think I know the answer to everything. I have to keep telling them I DON'T know it all. After all, if I did, I'd be in a giant mansion in Puerto Rico with billions of dollars.

(A reminder to all blog readers: bloggers do NOT know everything. They only write like they do - which makes them a good bit like radio talk show hosts.)

I was reminded again this afternoon of how I do NOT know it all - thanks to a preschool-age girl. As I put away audio equipment at church, she approached me and pointed.

"What's that?"

"That's a microphone."

"Why????"

Why? Why is it a microphone? Uhhhhh - because it isn't smart enough to speak for itself?!

Of all the times not to have a wireless phone! I couldn't call the manufacturer of the microphone on the spot, to ask why the thing is a microphone. But then again, the little girl might have asked me next why that thing I was dialing is a telephone.

(Maybe I should blame all this on the two speakers at the church service. They both had "why" as the first word in their message titles.)

The preschooler came back to me a few minutes later with an announcement. "TWEET! TWEET! I'm a tweety bird!" No, I didn't think to ask why she was a tweety bird. The girl was too busy acting like one - throwing hidden things out from under the speaker's stand.

The little girl went on to share her knowledge of birds. "Birds have teeth. They can bite your face. Some birds have teeth, and they can bite you." Another reason at this time of the year to cook your turkey thoroughly....

Now for some quick bites from a chilly weekend:

+ A tire store on Manchester Expressway offered a free bicycle to anyone buying four Goodyear tires. Ohhhh - so I'm going to need some backup transportation for my car? Like maybe, after a flat?

+ Jack and Miriam Tidwell wrote a Ledger-Enquirer column, predicting Fort Benning's Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation "someday will win the Nobel Peace Prize." I'm sorry to burst their bubble - but if they didn't give one to Generals Douglas MacArthur and Norman Schwarzkopf, WHINSEC isn't close.

+ WRBL aired a commercial for the Columbus Housing Initiative - only the ad was completely in Spanish. Many viewers waiting for the start of the Southeastern Conference championship game probably were too drunk already to notice.