Tuesday, December 09, 2003

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9 DEC 03: ANYONE FOR SECOND'S?



Looking for a church building? Second Baptist Church has put its complex north of downtown Columbus up for sale. Imagine all the extra hand-me-downs Valley Rescue Mission could sell in there....



A sign outside Second Baptist Church says it's moving to a new location. We called the church office Monday, and learned the congregation plans to head for the area of Psalmond and Beaver Ruin Roads. So apparently there's a hidden pocket of sinners playing youth league baseball and golf.



A woman in the office told us Second Baptist Church has been on Second Avenue for more than 50 years. So "Second" won't be on Second much longer -- as that location apparently is now the second choice.



(This is an Abbott and Costello routine just waiting to happen. When it comes to Baptist Churches, "First" is on Second, Second will NOT be on Second - and I don't know what's on Third.)



I'm not sure why Second Baptist Church decided to move - but doesn't it seem strange that this congregation plans to move all the way to the other side of town? The last time I checked, people still were living nearby in Bibb City....



What seems even stranger about this move is that Second Baptist Church is located about a block away from the Valley Rescue Mission. Doesn't that mission provide a constant group of needy people, for the church to serve and help? Or is mission director Gary Hartman turning all the residents into Lutherans?



I've never been inside Second Baptist Church -- but I can't help wondering if it has a rivalry going with First Baptist. If you go to Second, does that make you a more humble Christian?



Now let's check some selected shorts from a milder Monday....


+ A preliminary military hearing began at Fort Benning, about the conduct of Army chaplain James Yee. If the case drags on for days, it could turn into "Yee Olde Hearing."



+ The Columbus area United Way reported it needs one million dollars by the end of the year, to meet its annual goal. I wish this agency would quit stealing my pitch lines....



+ Charles Lyle was interviewed for the Phenix City School Superintendent's job. He currently oversees schools in Long Beach, Mississippi - which could hurt him, if school board members remember Jack Russell's trips to nearby Biloxi.



+ Instant Message to the staff of Publix on Macon Road: I believe you sell Sprite in bottles of two liters - and not, as your sign says, "two LITTERS."



POEM OF THE DAY: Imagine if Dr. Seuss was still alive, and he was asked to write an urgent pamphlet for the Columbus Health Department:



What to do, to avoid the flu:


Cover your mouth, when you achoo.


Wash your hands each hour or two,


And bits of flu won't get in you.



Get a vaccine, use a spray,


And you can keep the flu away.


Buy some chicken noodle soup


In case you spit yellow goop.



But if by chance you catch the bug,


Please don't give your friends a hug.


They might tell you, "Go away, shoo!"


All because you have the flu.



Please don't try to catch a flight.


You'll just spread the bad bug's bite.


When you land and you're all through,


Those who flew will get flu, too.



Take precautions! Be aware!


Watch the folks you meet out there!


If you do all this, your crew


Will get through with no new flu.



COMING SOON: I have an ethics question. Can you help resolve it?....



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© 2003 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.