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23 DEC 03: TANGERINE ALERT
For the first time in eight years, my old alma mater played in a college football bowl game Monday night. I mentioned here awhile back the game tickets cost $45 - but I didn't realize that was going to compute to 50 cents for every point scored.
Kansas went to Orlando for the Tangerine Bowl, and got eaten alive by North Carolina State's Wolfpack. But at least the Jayhawks can reflect on the way home about the thrill of the trip, the day at Disney World - and the extra $750,000 for the athletic department budget.
North Carolina State was led to victory by senior quarterback Philip Rivers. He's an Athens, Alabama native - and who knows? If he had never gone to Raleigh, those Auburn trustees might never have gone to Louisville.
I chose to save the travel time and $45 ticket for the Tangerine Bowl, and went to a Columbus sports bar. Trouble was, I was seemingly the only Kansas fan in the place - except maybe for the server at the bar, who had some mercy on me.
Pre-Game: A man sitting near me at The Sports Page bar hears about the Tangerine Bowl matchup and declares, "N.C. State should win this game." I put my finger in front of my mouth, asking him to quiet down. He sees the Kansas sweatshirt I'm wearing - and amazingly, he does.
13:56/1st Qtr: North Carolina State scores a touchdown on its first drive. A second man at the bar makes his own declaration: "No team with a 6-6 record should be in a bowl game." Uh-oh, Kansas does. Sometimes we consider it a victory not to lose.
"Hey, we need the money," I tell the second man of the bowl appearance.
"Then you should have paid the $45 ticket price."
10:46/1st Qtr.: Kansas scores in about three minutes to tie the game. Challenged by skeptic #1 to sing the school fight song, I start to do so - but he turns his head to someone else before I even get to the "sis-boom-hip-hoorah" part.
8:47/1st Qtr: The Wolfpack come right back in about two minutes for a second touchdown. I start to wonder if they're really playing basketball, only with strange uniforms.
The second skeptic at the bar now takes on Kansas's Big 12 Conference. "If you don't win your conference, you shouldn't be playing for the national championship," he says regarding Oklahoma's upcoming Sugar Bowl trip. I point out it happens all the time now in the college basketball tournament, and no one complains.
But a few minutes later, this man finds a kind word to say. "I like the name Jayhawk. It sounds like they have a bad reputation." Apparently he hasn't seen the Kansas logo - with the big blue bird smiling.
Both skeptics say during the next K.U. drive if the Jayhawks can't score and N.C. State then does, "the floodgates could open." Too bad one of them left before the prophecy came true - so I could get some Mega Millions lottery numbers from him.
Start of 2nd Qtr. Skeptic #2 looks at the Kansas cheerleading team on ESPN and finds it superior to the opposition. "There's no way a flat-chested woman should become a cheerleader," he declares. So for him, a "36" must not mean a perfect ACT exam score....
As the second quarter wears on and North Carolina State rubs it in, skeptic #1 notes I haven't sung the Kansas fight song in awhile. Skeptic #2 responds, "He didn't sing it the first time with much enthusiasm." Well, I would have - had you paid
attention!
(Now you can see why I didn't even bother to sell my debut CD there....)
Kansas head coach Mark Mangino is a - well, heavy-set man. Skeptic #2 openly complains it's not fair for people like him to pay for only one ticket aboard airplanes. Huh?!?! Do you want him stored below the seats, as luggage or something?
Halftime: N.C. State has a commanding 28-10 lead, so I look around at the Sports Page scenery. This is my first visit here since the restaurant caught fire in the spring - and about the only difference I noticed in the menu was a "hot" category for the wings.
(One artifact which apparently survived the fire was a banner in the rafters saying, "Braves contend for penant." Too bad, because it was spelled wrong both then and now.)
6:03, 3rd Qtr: A touchdown toss extends the Wolfpack lead to 42-17. I fold up my sweatshirt so the Kansas doesn't show anymore.
The ESPN production team noticeably turns against Kansas Coach Mangino. In the first half, his coaching record was shown this way: "2002 - 2-10. 2003 - 6-6." In this half, it's shown as "8-16 - .333". Biased reporters....
13:00, 4th Qtr.: A P.A. announcement inside the Sports Page declares "the biggest video screen in the world" is being lowered for Monday Night Football. For some reason, I think the jumbo-trons at the Georgia Dome are bigger.
10:45, 4th Qtr: N.C. State runs for a touchdown, to make the score 56-26. I've seen enough. The white handkerchief I pulled out to cry about the last score now turns into a flag of surrender.
I say good night to the men I met around me at the bar. I would have said, "Wait until next year" - but given Kansas's football tradition, the next bowl game might not come until 2011.
BLOG UPDATE: Yet another "healing rally" is planned in Columbus today, at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Park. If some doctors made this many attempts at healing, they might be sued for malpractice.
For the second Monday in a row, a "reconciliation rally" was held outside the Government Center. This was quite different from the Monday before - because for one thing, Mayor Poydasheff attended it. His presence apparently prevented "Orange Alert" rules from kicking in, and moving the rally a block away from the building.
Pastor Hal Brady of St. Luke United Methodist Church apologized for not speaking out sooner about the death of Kenneth Walker on I-185. Perhaps if someone had told him Walker also was a United Methodist....
Columbus State University Frank Brown attended Monday's Government Center rally as well. He especially wants to see racial divisions heal in Columbus - if only because it's better for recruiting basketball players.
By the way, we're still waiting for a date when Al Sharpton will visit Columbus to speak out about the Kenneth Walker shooting. He can't really think New Hampshire primary voters will have give him THAT much attention....
BLOG YEAR-IN-REVIEW CON'D: February was a month of major change in Columbus. They included WRCG Radio's
new owners dropping talk show host Doug Graham for New York's Don Imus. The editors at the Ledger-Enquirer love Imus's humor - but at least Graham didn't use any dirty words on the air to get HIS lame laughs.
(So where is Doug Graham now? Someone told me recently he's working in the office of U.S. Senator Saxby Chambliss -- so at least he's still promoting conservative propaganda.)
February also was the month U.S. Airways stopped service to Columbus, leaving the city a one-airline town. Look on the bright side, though. There's still a choice of several shuttle buses to Atlanta.
Not only that, Doppler radar arrived in Columbus in February. Some people were disappointed when Mr. Doppler did not hold a book-signing session at Barnes and Noble.
COMING WEDNESDAY: The worst-timed item I've ever received in my mailbox....
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© 2003 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.