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24 DEC 03: C-AND-E

IN MEMORIAM: Today marks 20 years since my mother died in Kansas City, Kansas. Maxine Burkard had a brain aneurysm at age 59. If you find me working too hard on this blog, give her the credit - because I'll never forget the times in my youth when she called me lazy.

My next-door neighbor has no car, so she asked me to take her to Kmart Tuesday afternoon to have her blood pressure prescription refilled. The big question, of course, was whether a crush of last-minute shoppers would make the blood pressure of both of us boil over.

Parking at the Kmart on Macon Road turned out to be pain-free. An open spot was easy to find, and not one person cursed us out. Now if they had offered me money for that spot....

As my neighbor walked to the pharmacy for her prescription, I spotted an amazing deal at the front of Kmart. They were selling nine-inch pumpkin pies for 99 cents! I had to check the label - and no, they were NOT made in China.

Lines at the checkout seemed small at Kmart - and especially at the snack bar, where I asked for a large bag of popcorn. Amazing deal #2: if your snack bar is out of bags, they'll put the popcorn in a plastic SHOPPING bag for you. I think I wound up with EXTRA-large....

But my next-door neighbor had a different experience. She said the line at the Kmart pharmacy was so long, she had to wait 15 minutes for her blood pressure medicine. Imagine if she had been out of anxiety drugs....

My next-door neighbor said she wanted to get her prescription filled Tuesday because rain was in the forecast for Wednesday. The upcoming holiday apparently had nothing to do with it. For older people on fixed incomes, sometimes the greatest gift can be a full medicine bottle.

I'd never stopped to think about people lining up to get prescriptions filled before major holidays such as Christmas. And I can't help wondering how many older people will wake up Thursday to find a bulky, wordy Medicare drug coverage bill in their stockings.

But enough of this Christmas stuff. Before I left home on my Tangerine Bowl party junket Monday afternoon, I was shocked - SHOCKED! - by what I found in my mailbox. It was a 2004 EASTER gift collection catalog! The last time I checked, Jesus was NOT hatched from an egg.

The Easter catalog came from a company I'd never heard of before, ABC Distributing. I apparently landed on their mailing list from my years operating LaughLine.com - but I'm sorry, I don't need a catalog offering bunnies in embroidered dresses. [True!]

I called ABC Distributing in Miami Tuesday afternoon to ask about this catalog coming so early. The customer service said believe it or not, the "Holiday Gift Collection" catalog for NEXT year will reach me before long! C'mon, folks - even NASCAR takes a couple of weeks off between seasons.

The customer service woman said ABC Distributing encourages people to order quickly when its catalogs come, because some items sell out very quickly. So what are we waiting for? Let's have Christmas next year in July, and swap Easter and Valentine's.

BLOG UPDATE: Critics of the Muscogee County Sheriff's Department rallied again Tuesday - this time at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Park on Buena Vista Road. Perhaps they figured one more gathering outside the Government Center might get them arrested for stalking.

The Vietnam Veterans Park is one of Lonnie Jackson's pet projects - so imagine his surprise when a TV reporter called him Tuesday morning to ask about the anti-Sheriff rally. He said he knew nothing about it! Was Jackson too busy lining up groups of children to pick up trash?

Several signs and speakers at the Vietnam Veterans Park demanded Sheriff Ralph Johnson resign, in the wake of the Kenneth Walker case. Hopefully these protesters realize that would solve only half the problem. Then they'd have to convince Councilor Nathan Suber to change positions.

An estimated 60 people attended the anti-Sheriff rally - and someone who was there told me only six of them were Caucasian, half of them journalists. Perhaps the people at Monday's "healing rally" feel cured already.

One speaker at the anti-Sheriff rally dared to declare the shooting of Kenneth Walker two weeks ago "a murder. It was no accident!" Yet these protesters are demanding the release of the Sheriff's "car-cam" videotape from that night -- so what psychic hotline does this speaker operate?

The National Action Network confirmed Tuesday night Al Sharpton will visit Columbus Friday, to talk about the Kenneth Walker case. And oh yes, you can help the healing process by writing a check to his Presidential campaign....

I checked the Presidential campaign web site of Al Sharpton late Tuesday night, and his calendar said nothing about an upcoming trip to Columbus. In fact, the only event marked on his calendar in the next few weeks is the Iowa caucuses. Maybe Sharpton takes the Jessica Clark approach to his trips - and throws darts at a map.

BLOG YEAR-IN-REVIEW CON'D: March marked a breakthrough for one Columbus community, as Ritmo Latino Radio went on the air a few weekend hours a week. But we're still trying to figure out why they don't call Bill Heard "Señor Big Volume" in Spanish.

March 3 was declared by Columbus Council "News Three On Your Side Day" - apparently because it was 3/3/03 on the calendar. So where was the outrage in September? The Council made no move at all to declare "Kissin' 9/9/3" day.

Georgia's basketball team was in turmoil in March, as head coach Jim Harrick was fired. Right now, of course, it's being upstaged by undefeated Georgia Tech - and if the Yellow Jackets keep winning games, some Columbus radio station might actually broadcast them.

My grocery shopping plans were blown up in March, when Save-A-Lot closed its Phenix City store. At the time, staff members said three new stores would open in Columbus within a year. I'm still waiting - unless they're all disguised as nail salons.

But the big event of March, of course, was one which had many people watching television intensely. They hoped and they prayed for a quick victory, yet there were some anxious moments. And when all was said and done, we could celebrate - because my alma mater Kansas made the NCAA men's basketball finals, and nearly won the title.

No wait, I forgot: IRAQ was the issue that almost everyone talked about in March. President Bush timed the invasion well -- as it was six months before anyone would think about postponing the Emmy Awards.

Crowds of anti-war protesters gathered at Toomer's Corner in Auburn in the days before Operation Iraqi Freedom began. I haven't heard anyone go back to them and ask what they have to say now - not to mention whether they're working on a plot to smuggle Saddam Hussein to exile in Cuba.

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© 2003 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.