28 AUG 05: END OF STORIES

I wrote Saturday's blog entry early - and then all sorts of follow-ups developed in the news. But before you ask: I do NOT plan to follow Adam Johnson up to Atlanta, for exclusive pictures from rehabilitation. After all, which tabloid would buy them?

The son of Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson pleaded guilty to driving with a suspended license. As a result, Adam Johnson is now in an Atlanta "treatment center." A few of us wish he'd work in sewage treatment, to stop all those nasty spills into the Chattahoochee River.

Adam Johnson entered a treatment center on the advice of his attorney. Mark Shelnutt says the sheriff's son may be a substance abuser, or could have a "neurological" problem. That means the nervous system - and Ralph Johnson has reason to be nervous about his son being in "the system."

After the rehabilitation in Atlanta is finished, Adam Johnson is expected to spend 20 days in jail and one year on probation. The sentence could be worse, you know - he could be forced to drive "the wagon" he's supposed to be on.

Yes, I hear the talk radio callers saying the Adam Johnson story is a family's private affair. But police records are open to the public in this country. Would you rather be in Iraq, where Saddam Hussein's government made it appear thousands of opponents simply evaporated?

Besides, some people may find it a bit more than ironic that a sheriff who attempts to enforce and uphold the law has a child who seems determined to violate it. At the very least, it shames the family name - but then, there are so many Johnsons that you have to sort out which one it is.

There was one surprise in the sentence for Adam Johnson. I heard nothing about him being disqualified from ever having a Government Center parking space....

And yes, we have an update on the "parking spot spat" as well. Judge Frank Jordan, Jr. has rescinded his court order demanding a space be given his court reporter. The risk of an emotion-driven game of bumper cars under the Government Center now has disappeared.

Court reporter Kathy Bostic explained she needed a parking space under the Government Center for security reasons. She says she sometimes takes evidence home with her - including guns. Then Bostic doesn't need a secure parking space. She needs a free training course at Shooters.

Kathy Bostic explained she takes guns and drugs home with her during criminal trials because she considers an evidence storeroom inside the Government Center unsecured. Just wait until the inmates doing after-hours cleaning duty inside the building learn that scoop....

Judge Frank Jordan, Jr. noted he's been concerned about security for his court reporter since the bloodbath at Atlanta's Fulton County Courthouse in March. But aren't there other ways to handle this matter? For instance, add an extra key to the reporter's keypad which launches poison darts.

Under a compromise to take back the court order, a Muscogee County Sheriff's Deputy will escort Kathy Bostic to her car when circumstances require it. I was ready to call that a step toward security - but then I remembered the last deputy to open fire on somebody was David Glisson.

On top of that, Judge Frank Jordan, Jr. now has agreed to give Kathy Bostic HIS Government Center parking space. That's only the chivalrous thing to do, here in the polite South. But if Judge Bobby Peters gives up his spot to a woman, the rumors will start....

Almost overlooked in all this "legalese" was a front-page story in Friday's Ledger-Enquirer. Tom's Foods confirmed it will terminate its employee pension program. We knew the company was in financial trouble - but this chip crunch is worse than we thought.

Employees who put money in the Tom's Foods pension plan now might wind up with nothing. Those of us who have lost quarters and dollar bills in Tom's vending machines can feel their pain -- at least a little.

It's a bit infuriating to read Tom's Foods is reneging on its pension plan. This program was a promise of sorts to employees, and now it's being broken. Next thing you know, the city of Columbus will forget to build a new marina....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our "fact or fiction" item this past week about TV weather radar brought this response:

Hi Richard,

I'm attending school in Athens now, and, living in the middle of a cow pasture not served by cable, I've had the opportunity to enjoy my over-the-air television reception. It so happens that I can receive three Media General TV stations: WNEG 32 Toccoa, WJBF 6 Augusta, and WSPA 7 Spartanburg. As you know, Media General is also the parent of WRBL.

Both WJBF and WSPA appear to have a much higher investment in news than WRBL, at least graphics-wise, set-wise, and radar-wise. Both tout their Live VIPIR (6/7) weather radar. What does VIPIR stand for, you ask? Their promos frequently remind the viewer that VIPIR stands for: Volumetric Imaging and Processing of Integrated Radar

Why doesn't WRBL have a "Live VIPIR 3" radar? Why does WRBL still have the same decade-old news set that has been partially reassembled in the former newsroom? Why doesn't WRBL give away umbrellas when Jeff's forecast is right?

But anyway, WRBL does do a better job than WNEG "News Channel 32", a station that appears to be using 1980s-era graphics. Other than their lead male anchor (a broadcast veteran), the entire staff looks even more youthful than you'd expect in Columbus. They have newscasts at 6, 7 and 11 pm, but the news at 7 is simply a repeat of what aired 30 minutes before. Oh, and they don't appear to have a meteorologist on staff -- the weatherman at WSPA prerecords their weather segments. I will give them credit; they are the only source of news in northeast Georgia.

By the way, the lead male anchor on WJBF's news happens to be Brad Means.

Do you remember Zubi Anwar? Maybe WRBL would be interested in inviting her back to fill an anchor chair....

Thomas

Former Media General employees might have a different description of where Thomas lives - the devil's triangle.

I don't know why WRBL doesn't have VIPIR radar. Perhaps the Chattahoochee Valley Vipers have to start playing indoor football first?!

I was somewhat familiar with VIPIR radar from a station in Panama City, Florida. It claims its radar can track storms "street by street." So why can't they tune this thing to track escaped inmates?

(But I have to admit, I thought "volumetric imaging" was how stylists measured those big hairstyles in the 1980's....)

As I recall, Mitzi Oxford used to give away umbrellas when she last presented the weather on WRBL. I could take a guess about why that isn't done anymore -- but Media General IS appealing that big court judgment.

Yes, I knew Brad Means had moved to Augusta from Columbus. I happened to attend a farewell party for him several years ago in the Historic District. It was a Saturday night so strange, fireworks went off across the street - and the hosts never expected them.

But no, I don't remember Zubi Anwar. Perhaps other Columbus TV viewers will. With a name like that, I can imagine people were calling TalkLine demanding to see her immigration papers after one week on the air.

Let's get out of the studio now, because a lot of interesting things are happening outside this weekend....

+ Eufaula hosted an annual outdoor art show. So which sold better this year - paintings of the lake or Shorter Mansion?

+ Phenix City held its second annual street dance near downtown. If you missed this, go to a Russell County Commission meeting - and admire Cattie Epps and Judge Al Howard dancing around contact with each other.

+ The annual Midnight Express Run brought out about 5,000 people in midtown Columbus. This year a parallel race was held in Iraq -- and I'm not sure which is more dangerous: running in Iraq, or at 12:00 midnight on a Columbus street where anything could be hiding behind a bush.

+ Back inside, the Columbus Civic Center hosted auditions for a local version of "American Idol." So where were the picketers from Fred Phelps's church in Kansas? Doesn't he realize the Bible condemns idol-worship, too?

+ Auburn University announced it will open the football season next year against Washington State. That's the university where Mike Price used to be head coach - so I guess it's no surprise that Alabama allowed this to happen.

+ Phenix City Central shelled Shaw 20-11 in high school football. Since these rivals' stadiums are right down the parkway from each other, shouldn't they play for the J.R. Allen Trophy? And maybe you can give a special prize to the first player who can identify who J.R. Allen was....

+ Hurricane Katrina gained strength in the Gulf of Mexico, and appeared destined to hit New Orleans Monday. My pastor is vacationing in Gulf Shores, Alabama - and once again, his prayers are proving stronger than a storm.

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.44 a gallon at Marathon on U.S. 80 in Ladonia.... frozen ground turkey for $1.06 a pound at Wal-Mart SuperCenters.... and it's the last Sunday for "football widows" to spend quality time with their husbands until sometime next spring....

COMING MONDAY: E-mail about angels, virgins and (ahem) the "L-word"....

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