11 AUG 05: "EX" GETS THE SQUARE

Tonight apparently will mark the official death of a longtime Columbus landmark -- as the Columbus Square 8 theaters will close. It looks like the Public Library can move its outdoor movies away from Macon Road, and reduce the risk of wrecks.

The end of Columbus Square 8 is significant, because the theater complex was the last holdout from the Columbus Square Mall era. It may have benefitted from being south of the mall, and not attached to it -- leaving plenty of distance from all those scary, empty corridors.

My friend Lisa Napoli had a great idea at the end of 1999, when she worked for MSNBC: take snapshots of landmarks and historic places, and record how things looked at the turn of the millennium. I took one at Columbus Square Mall on December 31. Sadly, things were so empty then that I could park right by the door....

It turns out the Columbus Square 8 theaters were in line for demolition, under the proposed master plan for the Public Library area. If that happens, the last remaining piece of the Columbus Square complex will be the old Sears building.
Attention, Wal-Mart - we're still waiting for you there.

To my knowledge, only one Columbus Square Mall business still is open near that location. The American Deli took a spot on Macon Road where two donut shops used to be. I assume it's not a good idea there to ask for a salad with Russian dressing.

I was surprised to learn Wednesday night the building housing Columbus Square 8 actually is owned by the city of Columbus. Carmike Cinemas only leased it! Imagine if we checked the deeds to some of those Victory Drive nightclubs....

I've heard a few complaints about the Columbus Square 8 over the years - more about its owners, really. One man told me he stayed away because Carmike Cinemas tended to put "black movies" there, and not in its other locations. It now appears "redlining" didn't bring lines of green - as in money.

Longtime Columbus residents know Carmike Cinema runs all the theaters in town. By closing the "Square 8," Carmike will have only three theater locations in the city -- none of them south of Manchester Expressway. And there are none around the company's headquarters downtown, which apparently isn't even safe for matinees.

Ed Burdeshaw of the organization "Midtown Columbus" told WRBL he hopes to lure Carmike Cinemas back to his part of town. He presumed a "home-grown company will see the benefit" of locating there. That logic certainly hasn't worked for Phenix City officials.

Remember one of Jeff Hardin's promises when he ran for Phenix City Mayor? About a year ago, he pledged to work hard for a new movie theater in his city. A year later, the place with the most film screenings in Phenix City is the amphitheater -- with one.

But back over here: hasn't Carmike Cinemas heard there are thousands of soldiers coming to Fort Benning, and they'll most likely live on the south side of Columbus? Oh yeah, now I remember - they'll go to the Wynnsong 10 inside post, to escape from the rundown trailers on Cusseta Road.

(We're not counting the Wynnsong 10 as being "in Columbus," because those are inside Fort Benning's gates. Of course, security isn't a problem there - as long as infantry members carry weapons to their seats.)

With the closing of Columbus Square 8, Carmike in effect is saying to the south half of Columbus: "drop dead." Perhaps the new "Columbus South Inc." can do something to reverse this. For instance, does anyone have Magic Johnson's phone number?

Let's stop the square dance now, and check other headlines from a wet Wednesday:

+ Fire erupted at the 13^th Street Bar-Be-Que on Veterans Parkway, near Airport Thruway. The roof of the building has considerable damage. And while they fix that, maybe a painter can come out and take "13^th Street" off their sign once and for all -- since it's located nowhere near there.

+ Key Elementary School teacher Craig Harrison fulfilled a bet to students. They met "adequate yearly progress" - so he let a student cut off part of his ponytail! If Russ Hollenbeck really wants big ratings for WCGT's "Reveille," he'll think seriously about this....

(Somebody's gotta say it - since when did Muscogee County allow male teachers to have ponytails? Craig Harrison had one for seven years. Would a grade school student be allowed to have one for seven days?)

+ The Georgia Lottery presented Columbus winner Martha Thomas with a check for $500,000. Thomas told WRBL when she discovered she had a winning ticket, she hid it in her Bible. Of course, that's the last place where a money-worshiping gambler would look....

+ Instant Message to the Wal-Mart SuperCenter in Phenix City: I guess that was an act of compassion on your part - putting a big sign at the front door promoting the DVD movie "Because of Winn-Dixie."

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