24 AUG 05: FACT OR FICTION?

Let's play a game today called - hey, that title above will work - "Fact or Fiction." We have a series of statements, and your job is to figure out if each one is fact or fiction. Ready?

1. Now that gas prices have jumped above $2.50 a gallon in Columbus, they'll never come down again.

2. A report to Columbus Council on "impediments" should contain both good and bad news.

3. WRBL's "First Alert" weather radar is so "live," you can see it sweeping on the screen during newscasts.

4. If you drop pennies on your front porch and leave them there, you'll have good luck.

5. Local bloggers who work for the "mainstream media" are nothing more than mouthpieces for them.

6. If I move out of the Historic District, I'll meet nice women - and I won't be a virgin much longer.

Those are the statements. Now please exchange computer monitors with your neighbor, and let's compare answers:

1. FICTION. I saw it with my own eyes Tuesday - as gas prices around South Commons fell to $2.50 a gallon. Writing "FELL to $2.50" admittedly still doesn't feel right....

The low gas price in Columbus had been $2.55 a gallon. Now it's at $2.50. Only four more big jumps down, and this checkers game finally will be even.

Speaking of low gas prices: why did the "RaceTrac" station on Victory Drive at Interstate 185 change its name to Raceway? Is it one of those national "brand consolidation" things? Or does "RaceTrac" sound too much like something rural hicks visit?

2. FACT -- according to Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff. He was a bit annoyed Tuesday, because a consultant's report on "impediments in fair housing" only mentioned impediments. After all, how do people expect this mayor to run for reelection next year?

Consultant Dr. Douglas Frederick found several areas where Columbus's "fair housing initiative" is lacking. For one thing, about 14 people reported facing racial discrimination in the last five years. Now we're waiting for them to file the class-action lawsuit.

Douglas Frederick's report also concluded there's a lack of affordable housing in Columbus. I didn't realize apartments and houses in the Liberty District were so expensive - you know, the places with first floors so far off the ground that the "crawl space" would be comfortable for midgets.

The addition of thousands of soldiers to Fort Benning stands to make the deficiency in affordable housing even worse. Construction crews are building as quickly as they can - but let's face it, Victory Drive doesn't have as many mobile home dealers as it did ten years ago.

Douglas Frederick's report suggests Columbus make more of an effort to inform people about what to do, if they have a housing complaint. If it's against Moon Family Properties, you could go to their office and.... well, then again, I'd keep my clothes on....

But Mayor Poydasheff found fault with the fair housing report. He told WRBL it should have included a list of areas where Columbus is doing well. Obviously the mayor is a Fox News Channel viewer, because he wanted the title to read "fair housing and balanced."

Mayor Poydasheff apparently believes in the idea of mixing loving encouragement with words of criticism. I hear that mentioned often when it comes to child-rearing - but c'mon, this is city government. Elected officials already should know they're wonderful - or at least think so.

3. FICTION - or so a man told me the other day. He insisted I mention in this blog that WRBL's radar is NOT live. I'm going to assume he went to that station, and saw the death certificate for himself.

WRBL's meteorologists talk about having "live radar" - and the other night, you could even see it sweeping a time or two. But this man declared it's really a "time-delayed" radar, and the sweeping effect is fake. Wow - now I'm wondering if the "Golden Apple Award" is made of real gold.

(You'd think most people wouldn't mind having things on television time-delayed these days. After what Janet Jackson did during that Super Bowl....)

There's one way to get to the bottom of this radar question. Could we bring in an outside meteorologist to check it? Nicole Mitchell from the Weather Channel in Atlanta could lecture me about that equipment as long as she pleases.

While we're in this neighborhood - Instant Message to WXTX "News at Ten": So the announcement that a Russell County judge is running for Alabama Supreme Court was "First on Fox," huh? You didn't read this blog last week, did you? [18 Aug]

4. FACT - based on the word of my next-door neighbor. I went out for a morning run Tuesday, and saw a few dozen pennies scattered on his front porch. For all I knew, they might have fallen out of his jacket pocket because he was running late for work.

I pointed out the pennies to another neighbor later in the day, and that neighbor explained the man next door was doing it for good luck. Well, it IS late August - awfully late to try that black-eyed pea trick....

When the man next door came home late Tuesday, I asked if the pennies on the porch were working for him. "They're starting to, a little bit," he said -- and threw a few more pennies on the concrete. Doesn't he realize there's a perfectly good fountain for them a short walk away?

I didn't press the issue of what sort of good luck my neighbor is having. But after thinking about it, one thing comes to mind - he's lucky the letter carrier didn't scoop them up as a tip, while delivering the mail.

(I didn't count exactly how many pennies are on this man's porch. But I noticed he did NOT pick up 100 pennies Tuesday night, to buy a Mega Millions ticket.)

This was the first time I'd heard of a "pennies on the porch" approach for good luck. Personally, I think the whole thing is FICTION. After all, I picked up 58 pennies from a racquetball court last month, put them in a cup in my car - and gas prices went way up, anyway.

5. FICTION, in spite of what a competing area blog posted the other day. Oops, excuse me - the author calls it an "online magazine" these days. He didn't explain why, but I think he's now free to accept political action committee money.

But anyway: this man indicated people who blog while working for "the local media" leave a question about whether "you are merely an approved extension of the company.... writing only what the company would consider 'correct.'" Now hold on! I don't know if my bosses want me to be a virgin or not.

There admittedly are a lot of members of the Columbus news media keeping blogs these days. In fact, there's one who writes about making out with a "hot Latino guy" - and he's male! If his company considers that "correct," wait until the churches broadcasting on his station find out.

6. FICTION - at least I think so. This idea came by e-mail from the Birmingham area:

....A thought to your latest post [21 Aug]; you have the biblical part covered, and I am a church going Christian, but I see a needed upgrade in your current existence. Change the home address, the vehicle, the propensity to indulge the beggars and you'll reap the fruit of the opposite sex!

Just an FYI..............

Craig

To do all Craig proposes certainly would require changes. In fact, the beggars might find I'm walking up to them and asking for money.

Is First Avenue really that terrible an address? After all, Uptown Columbus developers like to brag about a renaissance in this corner of town - complete with people living in loft apartments. Doesn't living in a one-floor apartment make me a "down-to-earth" guy?

Then there's my 11-year-old car, which is getting about 30 miles per gallon in the city with gas prices so high. It's still running well - as long as I turn down the air conditioning level one setting, while going up steep hills.

Oh yes, about that "fruit of the opposite sex" - I wouldn't mind shopping for groceries with them at all....

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