22 MAY 05: HEATHER OF THE SPRING

LAWRENCE, KS -- After driving nearly 1,000 miles in three days, we've finally reached the big event of our road trip. And some of you will be sad to learn that we haven't spotted WRBL's Amy Giuliano anywhere along the way....

BLOG SPECIAL EVENT: My youngest niece graduates from the University of Kansas today. The ceremonies for Heather actually began Saturday night, with a recognition ceremony for her senior class in biology. How strange it was to hear the emcee bring up evolution in Kansas -- and I was the only one who made an audible boo.

Heather Michelle Burkard officially receives a Bachelor of Science degree in Biochemistry today. The emcee joked about "bio" being added to all sorts of fields, from chemistry to genetics and even music. But he forgot one of the big ones -- bio-graphy.

(Before you ask -- I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Journalism. And I noticed that "B.S.-Journalism" connection a long time ago.)

The recognition program allowed biology graduates to thank anyone they wished. Conservatives may be saddened to learn only two of the 244 graduates thanked God. But liberals may be saddened to learn none of them thanked Charles Darwin.

Heather thanked her parents, her best friend Amber -- but NOT her boyfriend of several years. Apparently that was because he forgot to thank her at some other senior event. But they're still together and in love -- while I'm still not so sure about Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellweger.

The recognition ceremony was a noisy affair at times -- with people in the audience cheering as seniors' names were called. If this event had taken place at the Columbus Civic Center this weekend, two-thirds of the crowd would have been left out in the parking lot.

(In fact, one senior put on the card for the emcee to read about her: "Can I get a whoop-whoop?" Whereupon some members of the audience gave her one! If her degree had been in the study of whooping cranes, I might understand....)

With more than 200 biology graduates being mentioned one by one, the ceremony became dull for a few people. A man sitting next to me actually pulled out his cell phone, and started playing a video game on it. That's what happens when a Kansas STATE University graduate attends a Kansas University event.

The celebration for Heather actually began off-campus, with an afternoon barbecue at a small house. She's shared the house this past year with six other young women -- but I never went upstairs to the bedrooms, so I don't know if it was like "Girlfriends" on UPN or not.

The barbecue featured a keg of beer, beef brisket, pasta salad -- and for a bit of Columbus flavor, hamburgers and hot dogs on a Char-Broil grill. I don't know how old the grill was. But from what I could see, it had NO Chinese markings on it.

The presence of beer at the barbecue brought revelations of Heather getting drunk before, her boyfriend getting drunk before -- and the boyfriend recently winning $5,000 in one session of poker. Living in Columbus must mean I'm too far away to set a good example for these youngsters....

Heather was turned down for the University of Kansas Medical School, so she hopes to be accepted to one in southern California. Her boyfriend is graduating with an engineering degree, and has a job lined up there with Occidental Petroleum. Remember: a company like that does NOT accept "OXY morons."

(But come to think of it, Heather's a good-looking gal. You'll see the evidence of that when we get back, and we can post pictures of the trip -- so will this move make her an OXY-doll?)

BLOG UPDATE: Meanwhile, about the missing person's case back in Columbus: I'm hearing Amy Giuliano chose to leave WRBL on her own. In fact, she may be leaving the television business altogether -- which could be OK, if she still has a deal to show off her hair in Alberto VO5 commercials.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of WRBL, our comments about messages from reporter Chris Sweigart [19 May] brought this:

That doesn't even begin to count that pregnancy discrimination case WRBL lost in March...." Good one, Richie! Those WRBL boys can get a little snippy sometimes, don't you think?

Maxine Hardy

Attorney at Law

Now now, Ms. Hardy -- don't spend that jury award money until all the appeals are rejected, AND the check clears the bank.

I've known some people who can be on edge at times about their work. That's true not only at WRBL, but other places. Yet admittedly I don't see that sense of urgency at places like McDonald's or Krystal....

More Blog Special Event updates as conditions warrant....

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