18 MAY 05: NO REAL SHOCK
Electricity made news in several ways Tuesday -- at a state government meeting room in Atlanta, and at Columbus Council. Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised by this. "Electric" and "power" always have gone together....
Columbus Police Chief Rick Boren announced a controversial item is coming to the force -- the stun gun, which administers electric shock to suspects. The chief might get more support if wrestler Steve Austin came to town, and taught officers how to do the "Stone Cold Stunner."
Chief Rick Boren said the addition of 60 Tasers will help Columbus Police officers use "less lethal munitions." Now hold on a second - my dictionary [American Heritage] says munitions refer to "war materiel." Are these stun guns rejects from the Abu Ghraib prison?
Chief Rick Boren says he has a seven-point scale for measuring how lethal a weapon is - and he rates the Taser a four. No one asked if his wife has anything which scores higher, if he forgets to take out the garbage.
Chief Rick Boren offered several other examples of how Columbus Police try to use something less lethal than firearms. Officers are equipped with batons, bean bags, pepper spray, pepper balls - and if a suspect is inside a restaurant, habañero peppers might come out as well.
But as you may know, stun guns have critics who claim they lead to deaths. Civil rights leaders went to LaGrange to express concern about one recent death of a suspect. But TV reporters never die when they do a demonstration - and they tend to be much wimpier.
Tasers are not cheap playthings, as each one costs $800. Columbus Police will use grant money to buy the stun guns - while Council members urge the desk staff to apply for grants to cover everything else on the force.
But with a tight city budget, Columbus Police won't get everything they want or need this year. Chief Rick Boren asked for 38 new pursuit vehicles, but it appears the Council will only give the force 15. Now it hurts that the Tour de Georgia didn't come through Columbus, to provide leftover bicycles.
The other big electric moment Tuesday occurred in Atlanta. The Georgia Public Service Commission approved a rate increase for Georgia Power -- starting just in time for hot weather in June. Will someone tell this utility Columbus Council hasn't approved that public safety fee yet?
For the average residential customer, Georgia Power bills will go up about six dollars a month. This could be the moment some local churches have been waiting for -- to make money selling candles door-to-door at mobile home parks.
(It's almost high enough to get me to drive across the river, look for those talking birds on the Alabama Power billboard, and ask them to intervene....)
BLOG UPDATE: Speaking of Georgia Power, questions were raised Tuesday about how it raises the water level on the Chattahoochee River. It simply isn't right for the staff to pour out perfectly good six-packs of Dasani....
But seriously: Georgia Power officials say they sound alarms when Lake Oliver is adjusted, to raise the river level. Trouble is, there's no alarm within two miles of the 13th Street dam downtown. I figured the big Synovus Financial building along the riverside would have one - if only for misguided bank robbers.
Some people say fishermen are getting caught on rocks in the middle of the Chattahoochee when the river level rises, and that can be dangerous. But as we mentioned, there are four signs along the Phenix City Riverwalk warning: "DO NOT WALK ON ROCKS." Can we start requiring literacy tests for a fishing license?
Mayor Bob Poydasheff says he's working on putting warning alarms in the downtown area of the Chattahoochee. One noise could tell fishermen the river level's going up. Then a different one could tell them to move away, because they're ruining the window view from the River Club.
Speaking of fishing - did you see the story about the man in Lee County, Alabama who caught a 65-pound fish? Terry Newsome says the fish broke his rod, so he wrestled it ashore when it swam into shallow water! [True/WRBL] How did he do that, after a 45-minute fight? Was his T-shirt so sticky, that the fish couldn't squirm away?
Now other hard, dry discoveries from Tuesday:
+ Opelika's City Council rejected all the bids for solid waste disposal. Baptist churches are asked to follow their usual order -- and burn the dirty books first, then the pornographic videos....
+ Five days after their scheduled Columbus concert which was postponed, Montgomery Gentry appeared live at the Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas. So who will be the first Columbus city official to propose opening a casino?
(OK, this isn't a Columbus thing -- but where was Renee Zellweger at this show? She wasn't sitting around new husband Kenny Chesney. And Chesney never mentioned her when he was named Entertainer of the Year! If he records a new version of "He Stopped Loving Her Today....")
+ Newsweek magazine retracted a report that U.S. military personnel flushed a copy of the Koran down a toilet. Now I'm wondering if Auburn and Columbus High Schools really ARE among the 1,000 best in the country.
+ "Baseball America" kept Russell County at the top of its national high school rankings, despite a loss last weekend. Two undefeated schools are ranked lower - so if coach Tony Rasmus has any memories of January in Auburn, he'll give a final national title away to them.
+ Instant Message to Lonnie Jackson: Let me get this straight - the Vietnam Veterans Memorial still has a damaged wall, yet you're asking for donations of new flags?! Is the Bay Avenue construction crew going to bring by a truck full of bricks?
COMING THURSDAY: We announce our next Blog Special Event - and it all begins at a Columbus drugstore....
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