11 MAY 05: THE ELECTRIC SLIDE?

Would you be willing to pay more on your electric bill, to fund Columbus Police? The chair of a "public safety advisory committee" made that suggestion to Columbus Council Tuesday. Imagine the advantages of this - such as free Taser recharging.

Dr. Archie Rainey said creative approaches are needed to pay for Columbus law enforcement. So he suggested a two-dollar addition to power bills, calling it a "public safety user fee." But what he's describing isn't really a user fee per se. If I don't call police or get a traffic ticket, I should get a refund.

Dr. Archie Rainey admitted to reporters outside Columbus Council chambers the idea of a public safety user fee came to him "at 3:00 in the morning." That's strange, because at that hour many criminals have their own ideas about public safety - such as trying to elude it.

Dr. Archie Rainey noted Columbus has a garbage "user fee," so it's only a good idea to have one for public safety. He said electric bills would be a proper place to impose because everyone would pay -- well, except maybe the people tipping over candles to start fires at the Mockingbird Mobile Home Park.

The Public Safety Advisory Committee presented its first report to Columbus Council, based on three recent community meetings. But Dr. Archie Rainey admitted the last one at Double Churches Middle School was attended by NOBODY. Apparently people in this part of town have put a spam filter on Wade Sheridan's e-mails.

(The three community meetings on public safety attracted a grand total of 30-35 people. You could conclude the citizens of Columbus have spoken - and their locks and security systems are working just fine.)

Dr. Archie Rainey told the Council Columbus isn't the only Georgia city with a police staff shortage. Macon has lost about 100 officers in the last four years, because of low pay. Maybe the road connecting those cities should be named the Fall-AWAY Freeway.

Dr. Archie Rainey may have uttered the quote of the day when he told Columbus Council: "There will always be numbers who say they are not being adequately compensated." Only at AFLAC and T-SYS, those people still make so much money that they don't dare speak up.

Dr. Archie Rainey took pains to point out no one on the Public Safety Advisory Committee believes Columbus Council is unconcerned about public safety. The 11 members on this committee need to call WRCG's "TalkLine" every morning, before the cynical grumblers fill the phone lines.

Did you realize a former law officer is serving on Columbus Council? I didn't until Tuesday - and it's none other than Nathan Suber. For you Republican blog readers, I do NOT know when he converted away....

The report by the Public Safety Advisory Committee left Mayor Pro Tem Jack Rodgers unimpressed. He said for all the attention on public safety pay, there was nothing about improving public interaction with police. In other words, Randy Robertson's people were noisier than Edward DuBose's people.

Jack Rodgers reminded Archie Rainey the advisory committee was formed in response to the Kenneth Walker case, to make law enforcement more "user-friendly." Apparently the committee "moved on" as fast as most of Columbus did....

Councilor Mimi Woodson's thoughts about police went in a very different direction. She pointed out the city government web site still showed Willie Dozier as Police Chief -- and he retired six months ago! That was fixed by Tuesday night -- but this will NOT help the city information technology department avoid those staff cuts.

Tuesday's Columbus Council meeting also included a presentation on police budget cuts. Current Chief Rick Boren said he has no choice but to eliminate the gang prevention program "GREAT." You mean he can't simply trim it down to "good?"

E-MAIL UPDATE: We actually went to Columbus Council Tuesday for another reason - one brought up the other day by that relentless local e-mailer:

From one of the readers:

You should see what is being spent in the remodeling of the new dept heads, who have just got their jobs this year.

If this city if so poor, I invite anyone of our "leaders" to tell me where the money is coming from to remodel. I bet absolutely no one answers.

Thanks,

Wade Sheridan

Whatever remodeling is going on, it might not be enough. If city officials had painted the Government Center orange a few weeks ago, the Riverdragons still might be in town.

Since I hadn't heard anyone address this remodeling, I decided to visit Columbus Council and ask city officials personally. It was my first visit to a Council meeting - and the meeting room had so many empty seats, I almost thought I was at a Catfish baseball game.

When the Council meeting ended, I asked Deputy City Manager Lisa Goodwin about the remodeling rumor. She asked which department heads were being discussed - but the e-mail didn't name any names. They always get details like that on "Trading
Spaces."

Lisa Goodwin said she knew nothing about the remodeling rumor, but noted there might be money budgeted for office renovations. If that's true, the public safety supporters won't be pleased - especially since that statue of the officer inside the Public Safety Center doesn't have a new coat of paint.

When I worked at an Oklahoma radio station years ago, I analyzed the city budget proposal line by line - and sometimes mentioned details such as the city attorney being in line for a new bookcase. The furniture prices always seemed far above the Salvation Army thrift store.

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: Two law officers are waiting for an elevator inside the Government Center, and are surprised when the door for one of them opens.

"That's the silent one." I presume he was talking about the elevator -- and not the new Marshal.

Let's speak up now about other things which happened Tuesday:

+ The high temperature in Columbus reached 84 degrees F. so I removed a multicolored afghan from my bed for the summer. Then I impressed all my neighbors by throwing it over my head, and pretending to be "runaway bride" Jennifer Wilbanks.

(As it happened, a North Georgia pastor revealed Tuesday Jennifer Wilbanks has checked into an undisclosed treatment center. We don't know what the treatment is for - but once she's finished, she can call Pat O'Brien to arrange a prime-time TV interview with Dr. Phil McGraw.)

+ "Newsweek" magazine rated the top 1,000 U.S. high schools. Columbus High School was number 576, but Auburn High was number 211. Maybe if the state golf and tennis tournaments took place in April....

+ WXTX "News at Ten" presented a special report on local people who buy and wear gold teeth. It's too bad this report appeared AFTER Mother's Day - because a great gift idea now has to wait.

+ An Atlanta imam announced accused courthouse killer Brian Nichols has converted to Islam. Now wait a minute - what part of "The Purpose-Driven Life" did that Gwinnett County woman read to him?

+ Georgia's Governor signed a bill requiring a 24-hour waiting period for anyone obtaining an abortion. Don't you wish more men and women used this standard, before getting into bed in the first place?

+ Atlanta's Delta Air Lines warned high fuel prices might force it to file for bankruptcy. Quick, somebody - tell them to fly planes to that Phenix City Short Stop, where the gas price is $1.95.

+ Auburn University freshman basketball player Toney Douglas announced he's eligible for the N.B.A. draft -- to which most Auburn fans who ignored last season said, "Toney who?!"

+ Instant Message to Karate U.S.A. on South Lumpkin Road: What do you mean, you're "temporarily closed?" Is there going to be some big back-alley showdown with a greedy landlord from Hong Kong -- and if so, will Jackie Chan be there?

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