29 NOV 07: TWO CHAIRS FOR YOU

Today's title is borrowed from a greeting card a friend gave me years ago. Well, it goes deeper than that. It came from a woman I once dated, but didn't feel ready to marry. She was happy that I simply showed up at a church dinner-dance - and probably that I didn't cause a scene, by begging her to come back.

But the two chairs today are not for me. They're for Elonda Floyd - the Columbus woman who had a motorized wheelchair stolen from her driveway Monday morning. That wheelchair was found late Wednesday, hours after a local woman donated her another one. I've heard of a two-car garage, but a two-chair living room?!

You may recall Elonda Floyd was injured by a hit-and-run driver last January in St. Petersburg, Florida. She was chaperoning a group of Carver High School students at a parade. She wound up losing a leg, and developed infections at a hospital. So to see Floyd in her living room wearing an "I'm Blessed" T-shirt is more than a little shocking....

Elonda Floyd rolled her wheelchair down a specially-built ramp outside her home Monday morning, and left it in the driveway while she drove her children to school. While she was away, the chair disappeared -- taken by someone who may have misunderstood the commercials, and wanted some holiday chair.

Neighbors reported someone had been spying Elonda Floyd's chair for days, before it was taken. What did those joyriders at The Ralston start, several years ago?

Elonda Floyd called police about the theft, then called local newsrooms asking them to make an appeal for the wheelchair. "Anyone who knows my story would know I need that," she said. But that's the paradox. If Floyd put her story out in the front yard, the wheelchair might stay - but people would think she's on an ego trip.

One of the people who saw Elonda Floyd's story on television was a woman named Mrs. Lowrey. She says she became disabled herself, when she was mugged outside her home late last year. This is the strangest case of "misery loves company" I've seen in a long time....

But anyway: Mrs. Lowrey had a motorized wheelchair to spare, so she donated it to Elonda Floyd Wednesday. She even rode it into Floyd's living room, moving the recipient to tears. But TV cameras never showed whether Floyd kicked the wheelchair's tires, to make sure they were good.

Elonda Floyd not only gained a new wheelchair Wednesday - she gained a new friend in Mrs. Lowrey. They plan to keep in touch with each other. And who knows -- they might inspire the start of a "wheelchair patrol" to guard against crime. If they do, Uptown Columbus probably will be watching it closely....

Columbus Police found Elonda Floyd's stolen wheelchair at a pawn shop. Many people probably wish the thief would get his own chair - an electric one, at the state prison in Jackson.

Police officers plan to return Elonda Floyd's stolen wheelchair to her shortly. I assume detectives are processing it for evidence first. Fingerprint checks are standard in a case like this - but since it's a wheelchair, suspects might be brought in for a possible (ahem) derriere match. Please, Chief Boren, don't post those pictures on the police web site....

Now let's stand and deliver some other Wednesday news:

+ A member of the United Nations Committee Against Torture spoke at Fort Benning's Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation. This apparently means the fence at the Fort Benning Road entrance is down for another year.

(Dr. Claudio Grossman told WRBL his United Nations committee has never been asked to investigate whether WHINSEC is involved with torture. This apparently proves something else - the people who run SOA Watch are part-time amateurs, compared to Amnesty International.)

+ WLTZ reported traffic delays are occurring on J.R. Allen Parkway, because of construction on the new Gateway Drive Wal-Mart. That's the way to get customers ready to use the store's auto repair center....

+ WFXE-FM "Foxie 105" presented a "girl power" rally at East Columbus Magnet Academy - shortly before the evening news reported on a decline in the number of African-American men going to college. So they basically held a rally to tell young women what many of them already know?!

+ Two employees of an Athens, Alabama Hardee's restaurant were arrested, on charges of stealing $6,000 worth of meat. In Hardee's math, this translates to enough meat to make 1,500 "Six-Dollar Burgers."

+ Georgia Southwestern State surprised Columbus State in men's college basketball 82-81. C.S.U. thought it had made a game-winning shot at the buzzer, but the officials ruled it came too late. The first report of "referee blindness" came unusually early this season.

+ Instant Message to WDAK radio: Why didn't you tell me this before? You're probably the only "Newsradio" station in the country to post a "Babe of the Day" on your web site. I mean, Fox News Channel hasn't even gone that far -- and between Megan Kelly and Jane Skinner, it could.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: The Republican Presidential candidates had one of those "YouTube" debates Wednesday night. We don't know if the talking snowman submitted a question this time -- but since the debate was in Florida, CNN was more likely to get a question from a giant dancing tangerine.

(Thousands of people submitted video questions for the debate - including actor Kirk Douglas. He apparently has to take this route, because a "Debating with the Stars" night on the E channel could be lost to a long writers' strike.)

+ Before the debate, Republican candidate Mike Huckabee was endorsed by the son of the late Jerry Falwell. Huckabee told reporters about his rise in Iowa polls: "When people pray, things happen." It sounds like Rudolph Giuliani supporter Pat Robertson has been too busy to get on his knees.

+ Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf officially gave up command of the armed forces, in a full-scale ceremony. He called his military uniform his "second skin." So this whole state of emergency declaration was Pakistan's version of a "Skins Game"?!

+ O.J. Simpson pleaded NOT guilty in Las Vegas to all 12 counts against him. But he stopped short of the 1994 declaration that he was "100 percent not guilty" - so the prosecutors must have something here.

+ RJR announced it will stop all print ads for cigarettes next year. About all that's left for Joe Camel will be to make personal appearances at convenience stores and bars.

+ A legislative hearing was held on Massachusetts, on a proposal to ban spanking. Isn't it amazing how times have changed? This state once put witches on trial - and now they're talking about doing the same thing to Puritans.

+ New "Dancing with the Stars" champion Helio Castroneves confirmed his engagement is off, because his bride-to-be dumped him. I don't think it was because he was paired with a gorgeous dancer for months. It's because Castroneves is an IndyCar champion, who refuses to switch to NASCAR.

+ Motorcycle legend Evel Knievel announced he's settled a federal lawsuit against Kanye West. Knievel filed suit after West imitated him in a music video last year. He should be thankful West remembered him in the first place....

+ A LaCrosse, Wisconsin doctor delivered four sets of twins in a 24-hour period. If anyone deserves to appear in a "double meat" Dominos Pizza commercial, it's this man.

+ The agent for Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams announced he's out for the season with a torn chest muscle. His big comeback lasted a total of six plays - and to make matters worse, a chest injury means he can't inhale marijuana very deeply during his recovery.

+ New University of Mississippi football coach Houston Nutt addressed supporters, and brought loud applause when he said: "The way you spell fun is W-I-N." This will NOT help Mississippi's reputation for low test scores....

(I don't want to say the Mississippi football fans are slow - but Houston Nutt was presented a team jersey at a media event. He's going to coach, not play.)

E-MAIL UPDATE: Tuesday's "Blog of America" noted how the 1992 version of Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show" looked a lot like WLTZ's Miller Robson. That led to this....

Richard,

Your comment made me laugh. I may have his chin, but I'd rather have his money!!!!!

Take care.

Miller

I'd be satisfied these days with one of Leno's classic cars. It probably would have more horsepower than my aging Honda - not to mention a fully-working radio.

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