11 NOV 07: THE 45 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

This normally would be the place for wishing you a happy Veterans Day. But I guess I'm not supposed to do that - because one Columbus radio station was playing Christmas music Saturday night. And "Frosty the Snowman" didn't even have a march tempo, to blend the holidays together.

Yes, WGSY "Sunny 100 FM" is at it again -- playing Christmas songs nearly two weeks before Thanksgiving, and more than six weeks before Christmas. What's the goal of this? To break the drought, by having everyone sing "Let It Snow?"

I discovered what Snowy Sunny 100 FM was doing quite by accident. I had headphones on for a Saturday twilight run at Idle Hour Park, and was switching between the Auburn and Georgia broadcasts of the football game. But suddenly I heard big band music from around 1950 -- and it was even out of place for "A Prairie Home Companion."

Within five minutes, I was told in song that Santa Claus would come tonight -- about a week before he's supposedly showing up at Peachtree Mall. But I suppose it could be worse. We haven't been overrun with ads for Presidential primaries, which are still three months away.

Assuming Sunny 100 FM plays non-stop Christmas tunes from now until December 25, the station will spend more than 12 percent of the year playing such music. And for all I know, they might have snuck in a "Totally December Weekend" during the summer when I wasn't paying attention....

But to be fair, Sunny 100 FM isn't the only place in Columbus where they're jumping the holiday gun. Target wasted no time after Halloween, putting Christmas displays up November 1. When I shopped for groceries there Friday, the store hadn't even bothered putting out any stuffing for my Thanksgiving turkey.

(Oh yes, I also bought some groceries at Piggly Wiggly - where they're holding the "Santa-palooza" giveaway already. We thank Bear O'Brien for not saying "ho-ho-ho" to any callers so far.)

And you may have noticed there's a new movie out this weekend called "Fred Claus." I keep waiting for the films which take this story in the other direction - claiming Santa Claus is related to Santa Fe or Santa Barbara.

But keep something in mind, as you grumble about this rushing of holidays - Columbus has become notorious for it. The late Lonnie Jackson started a tradition of holding patriotic events well before they were scheduled. The Combined Communities of Southeast Columbus staged its Veterans Day program November 3 - daring to think it could compete with the Fountain City Classic.

(The city of Columbus was a bit closer to the actual date, holding a Veterans Day program outside the Government Center Friday. This way, the big day is left open for billiard and dart tournaments at the V.F.W. hall.)

We know people are annoyed about radio stations playing Christmas music so early, because our voters said so in a Big Blog Question two years ago. Yet Clear Channel seems to make it a point to start holiday songs early at its stations across the country. To my knowledge, listeners have rebelled in only one city - so perhaps today's adult pop music is so drab that few others notice a difference.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now we move from radio to television....

Hi Richard,

First of all, I'm glad you're finding CHC so satisfying. It's a great place to be.

As you seem to be 'in the know' about so many local issues, I was wondering if you or one of your readers knew the reason why DirecTV and Dish Network don't offer the broadcast networks in the Columbus area? They advertise that they offer broadcast networks in over 98% of the country. Why is Columbus left out? I'm asking because after spending a small fortune for a HD DVR, receivers, and a HD dish, I find that I won't be getting ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, WB or PBS, as I was promised ... and I won't be getting refund from DirecTV either as they had to 'activate' the service to determine if I would get the local stations or not in the first place. They won't offer the Atlanta channels either, unless you can get an impossible to get waiver from each and every Columbus local station stating you can't get them via rabbit-ears. Do they even make Rabbit-ears anymore? I guess that's what "progress has preserved".

Maybe the Applebee's down the road playing WSB-TV News at Noon knows something I don't.

JR - Columbus

First things first: CHC stands for Cascade Hills Church. But as we mentioned last Monday, I'm taking a break for awhile from attending church there - so you'll have to watch WLTZ to get your weekly dose of jokes from Pastor Bill Purvis.

I don't claim to be an expert on satellite TV, so I'll defer to one Columbus station's explanation of the situation. The big satellite companies apparently don't realize Columbus exists -- and right now Columbus Water Works wishes the state of Georgia didn't know it, either.

I had to buy "rabbit ears" (a.k.a. an antenna) for my TV set several years ago, because I don't have cable or satellite service. Cable is SUCH a passing fad, you know....

Electronics stores should have home antennas for sale -- but they're probably more likely to remind you of the new digital TV you're going to need about 15 months from now. So ask if they sell digital antennas. It would look a lot more interesting to have a giant number 1 sticking up toward the ceiling -- and if your favorite sports team is in first place, so much the better.

Which reminds me -- Instant Message to Smokey Bones Barbeque: Thank you, oh thank you!! You were able to call up Saturday night's Kansas football game for me! My old alma mater outscored Oklahoma State 43-28, leaving Kansas as the only unbeaten major college football team in the mainland U.S. Now can we ask New Zealand to invade Hawaii for a few weeks?

Smokey Bones amazed me even more by offering a little box, where I could tune in the sound of any game on their multiple screens around the bar. The good news was that I could follow the play-by-play action of Kansas's win. The bad news was that the play-by-play voice was Brent Musberger - and he seemed much too interested in T. Boone Pickens giving all his money to Oklahoma State.

Columbus native Dontrell Savage had an OK game (pun) for Oklahoma State, in the loss to Kansas. The ABC announcers noted recruiters didn't think of him when he played for Jordan High School, because he stands no taller than five-foot-eight. In other words, his size matched that of the football program....

Now let's see what else was in our view this weekend:

+ Which driver made a U-turn in the middle of 13^th Street downtown, between Broadway and First Avenue? On a Saturday afternoon, he was able to get away with this. On a typical Friday afternoon, the backup from the collision would have lasted for hours.

+ Columbus police reported they found a "bottle bomb" outside the CVS store on Warm Springs Road. Apparently this refers to a real explosive device - not some celebrity perfume which no one is buying....

+ Georgia ate up Auburn in college football 45-20. The Bulldogs wore black shirts, and asked all its fans to do the same for a "Blackout Saturday." If the Atlanta Falcons keep losing games, they'll have plenty of Blackout Sundays - as in no local TV, because the tickets aren't sold.

+ Mercer University's basketball team upset nationally-ranked Southern California 96-81. The last time Macon, Georgia had this much impact in Los Angeles, the family of Otis Redding was selling a movie script about his life.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: There was no current "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live this weekend, because of the writers' strike. So perhaps we should begin this section by saying: Hello, I'm a comedy writer - and you're not.

+ The drug-maker Merck agreed to pay almost five billion dollars in a settlement, to people who took Vioxx. Plenty of lawyers ran commercials, urging Vioxx patients to sue - since we all know that's the a-Merck-ian way.

+ Heather Mills dropped her British legal team, in her divorce from Paul McCartney. So it's THEIR fault that Mills had that live fit on British television - by not keeping a muzzle around her at all times.

+ Reports from Hollywood indicated Britney Spears has bought a new car. It's a Mercedes SL65, with a 604 horsepower V-12 engine [True/Interprep.com] - which will look great with Kevin Federline behind the wheel, when her child support payments start piling up.

+ A Japanese company unveiled a new twist on the piggy bank. It's called the "savings bomb" - and if you don't put money in it for awhile, it pretends to blow up and opens its doors. [True/Marketplace] It's about time someone did this! It's so hard to shake pennies out of that little piggy bank slot, when you're checking out at the store.

+ Then there's the restaurant in New York City which introduced a chocolate sundae costing $25,000. It comes with gold and diamonds -- but for that price, I don't want to pay extra to clean the syrup off those gems.

+ The top team in college football was upset at home, as Illinois edged Ohio State 28-21. When you're ranked number one, it's truly an "ILL wind" that blows no good....

(Illinois won due to four touchdown passes by a quarterback named Juice Williams. At last there's a new "juice" in college football - and we hope he doesn't go to Las Vegas and hire a team of assistants.)

+ Meanwhile, Air Force bombed Notre Dame 44-24 - leaving Notre Dame 1-9 for the year. It's become so bad that Regis Philbin is starting to call the coach "Charlie Not-So-Weis."

+ The world championship of Scrabble is underway this weekend in Mumbai, India. They should change the rules, to let players put the names of Indian cities on the board - because Mumbai in the right spot could get you about 40 points.

(If you think about it, Scrabble is a game about relationships. "I" am worth one, "me" is worth four - but at the end of the day, "we" and "us" seem to be a lot more important.)

+ The young man who once appeared in the "Dude, you're getting a Dell" computer commercials was spotted in New York. Ben Curtis now works as a restaurant waiter [True/Interprep.com] - so if you see him, I dare you to say: "Dude, you're not getting a tip."

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