22 NOV 07: A HURTSBORO THANKSGIVING

Over the river and through the woods? If my grandmother was still alive, that travel plan probably wouldn't work. She lived her last years in southeast Colorado -- so my family would have to drive over the entire state of Kansas, and through a lot of wheat fields.

But the traditional line about Thanksgiving travel works perfectly, if you went where I went on Thanksgiving Eve. I crossed the Chattahoochee River Wednesday, went through a wooded area west of Seale, and visited the Russell County town of Hurtsboro. You know -- the town some say progress has forgotten, with some residents that critics would rather forget.

We've come to know Hurtsboro quite well on this blog in 2007 - perhaps a little too well. It's largely due to a series of e-mails from the local Constable. His last one appeared here Sunday - and what we wrote then brought a follow-up message:

Sir Richard:

Now, now. I know you don't really believe that Bob Corwin has a special place in his heart for "Hurt'sboro." $15 G's will make for a very merry xmas. All he had to do was get one spoonful of dirt turned over - and the commission was his. And the obligation was "Hurt'sboro's."

You are just wastin' time talking to anyone at the Jet Center - they are all loyal or afraid of the "Mare." You might get some information at (334).... but I doubt it.

The Jet Center is a corporation; and as such, it is obligated by law to file a public disclosure. This hasn't been done for some time. A while ago, I joined the Jet Center for the express purpose of seeing their records. Of course it was denied - but I have a tape of a very distraught Sandra Tarver telling me "NO", and saying that she didn't have to comply because; "NOBODY'S OVER ME"! She must have been mistaken - she WAS fired by the board of directors a few days ago. They must have had the "muscle' to do so!!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

We aren't posting the entire phone number the Constable sent us - mainly because he was right. The woman we called there Wednesday night said she knew nothing about the Jet Adult Care Center at all. Either that was a false lead, or she might need the center's services.

But is Robert Schweiger right, about Hurtsboro having nothing good to write about? Your blog decided it was time to drive there and find out. And what better time than Thanksgiving - when people are likely to be in a good mind, and not throw me out of their homes and businesses for asking nosy questions?

The first positive sign actually occurred seven miles east of town. Alabama Highway 26 is being repaved, between Hatchechubbee and Hurtsboro. It soon should be nice and smooth for people who want to move to town - or for moving trucks carrying business owners toward Eufaula.

Yet this paving was panned by one man I met in Hurtsboro Wednesday. "They've been working on that for three months," he told me - adding work crews in Columbus can pave roads faster. Well, a bigger city DOES have a faster pace to it....

The city limits sign in Hurtsboro indicated the town has been a "Tree City U.S.A." for five years. And yes, I saw several trees growing there. The lumberyard down the road in Hatchechubbee hasn't chopped them all down in desperation yet.

The street signs in Hurtsboro are small and wooden, but it was easy to figure out where Main Street and downtown are. This gives the town one big advantage over Columbus, where.... well, check that. Main Street Village has wound up locating in the more hectic business part of town.

My first stop was the Hurtsboro City Hall - which is conveniently located next door to the police station. Two police cars were parked outside the headquarters. And thankfully, no one came out to accuse me of a national security violation for taking pictures of them.

The City Hall in Hurtsboro looks like it was converted from something else. I'm not sure exactly what - and I couldn't learn the answer, because it was closed for lunch while I was there. But based on that fact, I was also tempted to ask if it was renovated with union labor.

I found a penny on the asphalt, next to where I parked at the Hurtsboro City Hall. Remember, it's always good to pay your blogger if you like what he does for you....

What should I find right across Main Street but the Jet Adult Care Center! It was a quiet place, both inside and out. And there was no sign of any campaign for Mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoe to regain her job -- not even any yard signs.

Last Sunday we mentioned our phone call to the Jet Center, about the departure of Hurtsboro's Mayor from the staff. We were told only center board members could talk about what happened. We asked a woman in an office about that, and she told me the board members had decided NOT to say anything. Leaving things to the rumor mill works SO well in sports, you know....

"She didn't.... quit," another Hurtsboro resident said with caution when we asked him about Mayor Sandra Tarver-Yoe. He admittedly wasn't sure how much he could say for the record about the Jet Adult Care Center.

We decided to walk up Main Street, and see what was there. A little rain tried to fall as we did -- so Hurtsboro received moisture before Columbus did. Isn't that a good thing? Or should I have been disturbed, by a lack of fallout shelter signs?

Some of the business names in Hurtsboro were familiar, from Robert Schweiger's e-mails. The City Grill restaurant was open for lunch. Less than a block away, the "After 5 Club" had a sign claiming to be open for lunch - but it was locked shut. Perhaps the city council decided the business name cannot apply to 5:00 a.m.

The most daring moment came when I walked into Perry Hardware on Main Street. Pat Perry knew about our blog, and remembered a phone call I made to him about the Constable ten months ago [22 Jan]. "I blessed you out," Perry told me - so a statement that he'd "come after me" was a blessing?! Maybe he had a payoff, for buying my silence.

"I came to find out you were more objective," Pat Perry told me. "I thought you were a Schweigerite." To borrow a comment Larry King made Wednesday about his interview with that plastic surgeon: he didn't apologize - he explained.

Pat Perry doesn't recall Constable Robert Schweiger ever running for office in Hurtsboro. But he wanted to make sure I quoted him as saying: "We'd like him to run for the town limits."

Pat Perry's conflict with the Constable stems from a traffic collision some time back. "He hit ME, and then sued me for assault." If that seems outlandish, you haven't seen much football this fall - with defensive backs denying they commit pass interference.

Partially as a result of that, Pat Perry admits: "When Bob Schweiger and I see eye-to-eye on something, I have to step back and see if I'm looking at things the right way." He owns a hardware store, remember - not an optical shop.

Pat Perry's wife used to work part-time as the Hurtsboro City Clerk. He's glad she doesn't anymore - especially to get away from "that mayor." Perry doesn't think much of Sandra Tarver-Yoe, either. So he seems to stand in the middle, while the Mayor and Constable lob volleys back and forth over his head.

You can pay your Hurtsboro water bill at Perry Hardware, but Pat Perry's wife no longer works part-time with the Hurtsboro Water Board. He says it separated from the city when she quit that job last year. In a time of drought, I can't help wondering if the Water Board now is more powerful.

Before I left the hardware store, Pat Perry recommended the City Grill for lunch. "It's Wednesday, and on Wednesday and Saturday they have fried chicken," he smiled. "That kind of chicken the doctors say you shouldn't eat." The only medical clinic I spotted in town was for a veterinarian.

On down Main Street we walked, and found the old Farmers & Merchants Bank. It's now the Hurtsboro town library, open on Tuesdays and Thursdays - but a sign on the door notes Tuesdays are for boys and Thursdays are for girls. Columbus has rules against special "Ladies Nights" like this....

One nice thing Robert Schweiger never has mentioned about Hurtsboro is the outdoor art work. Several building walls have murals painted on them. And unlike Uptown Columbus, they don't have to be exchanged for new rentals every year.

A Hurtsboro resident told us months ago that this blog was posted on the bulletin board at the Hurtsboro Post Office. So we simply had to go there - but a blog printout couldn't be found. Then again, a wanted poster with Constable Schweiger's picture wasn't there either.

Hardly anyone was out and about in Hurtsboro, on Thanksgiving Eve. But a person we found at the Post Office was not exactly a local ambassador. Not when his first words are, "Can I have two dollars?"

BLOGGER BEGGAR #12 was, of all places, in the lobby of the Hurtsboro Post Office. I'm not sure which is better - for Mayberry to have a town drunk, or Hurtsboro to have a town beggar.

The beggar said he needed two dollars to get something to eat. So much for the "lucky penny" theory from down the street.

"I'm going to the City Grill. I'll buy you lunch there," I told the man - and we left the Post Office to walk back down Main Street.

"Will you look out for me?" the beggar asked. I wasn't sure what he meant by that - but then again, didn't Lumpkin have a problem with armed thugs awhile back?

The beggar apparently wanted reassurance that I'd go in with him to buy lunch. I told him I would. "I hope they take credit cards, because I don't have that much money on me." The man said City Grill did - and in a small town like Hurtsboro, they are only so many places for beggars to get free food.

The beggar told me he works as a carpenter and a brick mason - yet he was broke. "I get my check on the first of the month. I'm on disability." Yet he was able to walk with me down Main Street - and he must not be so mentally disabled that he can't handle saws and heavy bricks.

We entered the City Grill and found most of the tables occupied. Many of them were taken by men wearing hunting clothes. Don't any grocery stores in Hurtsboro sell Thanksgiving turkeys?

I sat down with the beggar at a table - only to be asked for help by a woman standing behind several trays of food. I'm old enough to remember when small towns actually had waitpersons taking orders.

I turned to see the line of food, then asked for confirmation: "Do you take credit cards?" No, they didn't. A sign at the cash register even made that clear. So yet another beggar didn't quite have his facts straight - which may explain why you don't see them entering journalism schools.

"All I have is five dollars," I told the beggar, "so I'll have to buy for you." We stood up and went to the line of food - but the full lunch cost six dollars. It was time for some haggling, even before Black Friday.

"Can I have another vegetable?" the beggar asked as a vegetable and what looked like a ground sirloin steak was put on a plate.

"If I give you that, it'll cost six dollars," a female server said. The man made no move to pull out any money - or even offer to trade the plastic bottle he carried with some kind of liquid inside.

The beggar tried again, asking to exchange tea for another vegetable. That was rejected as well - but he was permitted to have two cornbread rolls with his meat and single vegetable. Imagine if this man was trying to buy a car....

The beggar finally accepted the plate he was offered, and the server asked what I wanted. "All I have is five dollars," I said - noting I was buying for him, not for me. And I'd really blown it, because I never told the man about Pat Perry's favorite fried chicken.

The lunch tab wound up as exactly five dollars - with no added sales tax. Wait until Constable Schweiger reports the managers to the Hurtsboro City Council about that one.

"He does that every day," a man with a nearly inaudible voice told me from behind the cash register.

"He told me he's a carpenter and a brick mason."

"That's true," the man answered. "But he doesn't want to do any work."

With lunch paid for and Hurtsboro's economy helped by tourism, I decided not to create a further scene. "Have a happy Thanksgiving," I told the beggar at the table - and went on out the door. I'm not sure what the beggar or the restaurant managers thought of this. But thinking back on it, I really didn't "look out" for the beggar - as in making sure he didn't take the food back for a refund.

With no more money in the wallet and plenty of things to post here, I walked back to my car and drove home from Hurtsboro. The visit only lasted about 40 minutes. I never found the Mayor or the Constable. But I found several people who told me they're thankful to be with their families this Thanksgiving - and perhaps a few praying for the small town to be a few residents smaller.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Also in our Thanksgiving grocery bag, we find a follow-up to the Richard Davis murder case....

Thought you might want an update:

I've been trying to find out information about the book Murder In Baker Company by Cilla McCain. It is advertised at Richard Davises website. I did find her email address and she actually wrote me back! I thought the book was coming out in December but she said that wasn't correct and she can only guess that it will be out sometime next year along with a documentary she's working on with Paul Haggis called "Already Dead. the murder of Richard Davis and the death of truth." I also asked her if she ever came to Columbus and if she was going to do a book signing in Columbus when the time comes. She said she was just here last week and she does hope to do a book signing.

Please post information about this book when it's published. A lot of us soldiers want to read it.

Thanks

Shane

Thanks for alerting me to this book, because I was not aware of how it was progressing. How interesting that a killing involving soldiers in "Baker Company" didn't happen anywhere near Baker Village.

Paul Haggis already directed a fictionalized movie, based on the Richard Davis killing. National Public Radio reported Wednesday "In the Valley of Elah" has made only about six million dollars at the box office - which translates roughly into one million tickets sold. Maybe if Haggis had replaced Tommy Lee Jones with a talking green monster....

And it simply wouldn't be Thanksgiving Day without some football:

I attended several city sponsored youth league football games this year..I was dismayed at the quality of the officiating..The bad calls did not favor just one team on the field ,but both teams. LIttle kids usually don't know the difference of bad calls,but the idea of group activities is to teach fair play..Example: ...A kid is running with the ball and is clearly tackled by only one and that around the knees and the official calls face mask..The ball is then moved down the field..The coach calls a time out to talk to the official and he calls an infraction of the rules on the coach. Later parents from both sides are at a loss for words to describe the lack of knowledge of the rules by the officials. I have not been to a high school sporting event in several years. I wonder if the officiating is as bad there..

I haven't seen any local games in person - but maybe this will comfort you. These officials will advance in years to come, and the booth reviews will make college football games expand from four hours long to five.

We thank all of you for writing -- and on this holiday, we give special thanks to everyone who thinks enough of this blog to check it on a regular basis. We'd like to think we have dozens of loyal fans. It's either that, or plenty of lawyers are still looking for grounds to take us to court....

Now for some news headlines from Thanksgiving Eve:

+ The Courier published all the names of Muscogee County School District plant employees enrolled in the state Teacher Retirement System. There were 18 workers enrolled there as of 1998, while 27 workers reportedly were NOT offered membership. So now the "haves" know which "have-nots" to take out to lunch next week.

+ The RiverCenter announced Jerry Seinfeld will appear March 7. Ticket prices start at $46.50 - so this show clearly is NOT about nothing.

+ Fort Benning opened its new Post Exchange. It will be closed for Thanksgiving Day, then open for a weekend-long sale at 12:01 a.m. Friday -- making the 4:00 a.m. workers at Kohl's look like lazy slackers.

(The new PX is billed as the third-largest in the Army. Only the third?! It looks like Fort Benning didn't gain as much from base realignment as we thought....)

+ WLTZ reported the Cannon Brew Pub expected a big pre-Thanksgiving crowd, with people taking holiday guests downtown. I assume everyone prepared for dinner, by drinking only light beer.

+ The Valley Rescue Mission reported it has all the donated food it needs for Thanksgiving, while the House of Mercy reported it still needs 15 turkeys and 15 hams. So does the Valley Rescue staff secretly do high-fives inside offices, and count themselves as the winners?

+ Instant Message to Lily Gordon of the Ledger-Enquirer and WLTZ: You win the prize for the best local tongue twister of the year. I was impressed by your story on the Columbus Ballet preparing for "The Nutcracker" - and how easily you said: "Sue Simoncini sews."

(It turns out Sue Simoncini was sewing 20 tu-tus for the ballet dancers. Hopefully no one mixed this up - and they have to deal this weekend with two 20-20's.)

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Happy Thanksgiving to everyone - especially to the Writers' Guild members who remain on strike, for whom we're filling in. It's probably better that all the prayers of blessing over dinner be ad-libbed, anyway....

+ A recent report from a weight loss company estimated the typical Thanksgiving dinner contains 7,100 calories. It's enough to make some of us feel guilty, and go eat lunch on Friday at McDonald's.

+ National talk show host Michael Baesden declared on the air: "If I hear of one more black person in America eating thousand island dressing, I'm gonna scream." [True/WKZJ-FM] Perhaps he knows something his African-American audience doesn't - that the "thousand islands" where this dressing was created are NOT in the Caribbean.

+ The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 211 points in pre-holiday trading. So you'll understand if some investors developed Thanksgiving indigestion unusually early....

+ The early presidential schedule seemed to finally be settled. Iowa will have its caucuses January 3. New Hampshire will have its primary January 8. And the sniping between the two likely nominees is projected to begin January 31.

+ An ABC News/Washington Post poll showed Republican Mike Huckabee has surged in Iowa since July, and is practically tied for the lead with Mitt Romney. Perhaps it's because Huckabee reminds many Republicans of Fred Thompson - only Huckabee doesn't seem to be acting.

+ Pakistan's government released 5,000 detained lawyers and activists. Their combined class-action lawsuit against President Pervez Musharraf should be ready for filing by Sunday.

+ Authorities in Aruba announced three suspects have been arrested in the Natalee Holloway case. There's reportedly new evidence that the three young men were involved in manslaughter. So who sent an e-mail tip to Greta Van Susteren and Nancy Grace now?

+ ABC News reported about 1,000 Iraqi natives are returning to their homeland every day. The Minuteman Project plans to send a thank-you note to the Baghdad government - for giving it a target number to match.

+ Men's Health magazine declared Denver is the most "Dangerously Drunk City" in the U.S. Things are SO BAD in Denver that residents actually think the Colorado Rockies played in the World Series.

+ A new movie called "August Rush" premiered in theatres - one day before a "sneak preview" season premiere of the TV drama "October Road." This must be Hollywood's strange way of atoning for Christmas movies coming out before Halloween.

+ Miley Cyrus of "Hannah Montana" fame told Oprah Winfrey she's allowed to go on dates, but her father Billy Ray watches her very closely. If any guys say the phrase "rehab clinic," forget it....

+ A Port St. Lucie, Florida sold a pancake on eBay - for 29 dollars. It supposedly has an image of Jesus and His mother Mary on it. [True/Interprep.com] So who plans to add a few drops of maple syrup, to make them cry?

BUT SERIOUSLY: We're sad to break this local news story, but we're told a Beulah High School football player is fighting for his life in a Birmingham hospital. Steven Lynn was wounded in a hunting mishap last Saturday. Our prayers are with Lynn and his family - and may a full recovery truly give everyone reason to be thankful.

COMING FRIDAY: The weekend's three important showdowns.... and you know which one matters most, don't you?....

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