for 3 JAN 06: BOWL DAY U.S.A.

Let's face it -- Monday was a day for sports-loving, football-hungry guys. That rainy parade in Pasadena is put on TV just to keep the women from feeling totally ignored.

While the ladies enjoyed flower-covered floats, the so-called "Bowl Bonanza" began with Alabama playing Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl. And the Crimson Tide defense was SO TOUGH - to borrow from TV scoreboard shorthand, it was a TEXT-book example.

Alabama's Jamie Christiansen kicked a 45-yard sideways field goal as time ran out, as the Tide topped Texas Tech 13-10. It was a classic Eli Gold radio call: "It's not pretty - but it is beautiful!" I'll be busy the next couple of days, writing a country song with those words....

Alabama fans were joyous, noting the Cotton Bowl win gave the Crimson Tide a ten-win season. Skeptics at Auburn would argue it was Alabama's first win in almost two months.

There was a close call after the Cotton Bowl was over, as Alabama head coach Mike Shula's folding chair collapsed under him during a news conference. The last time a Crimson Tide coach received such a jolt to his rear, Mike Price filed a lawsuit....

The curious quote of the day comes from Fox Sports analyst Terry Donahue, who said of the Alabama football team: "They're a little bit smarter than I thought they were." Huh?! Does he live in North Columbus or something?

(After all, just because a college has "Tech" in its name does NOT mean its students are smarter. The fact that Georgia Tech is on probation in several sports should be evidence of that.)

The Fox sports team told an interesting story about Texas Tech defender Dwayne "One-Horse Open" Slay. He traveled from Brunswick, Georgia to a California junior college - and took nothing with him except a Bible. If it was a public junior college, he probably was told to drop that at the gate.

Two hours after the Cotton Bowl kickoff, the Capital One Bowl began with Auburn facing Wisconsin. Give ABC's Ron Franklin some credit - he knew Opelika is "right next door" to Auburn. That's more than a lot of Auburn students know....

But next to Ron Franklin, former Notre Dame coach Bob Davie did NOT impress me much. For instance, he said two Auburn tailbacks should have some interesting "competition for playing time" in coming years. Their names, sir, were Ronnie Brown and Carnell Williams.-- and they're both doing fine in the N.F.L.

If you turned down the TV sound to listen to the Capital One Bowl on WVRK "Rock 103," it had to feel strange. The Auburn radio broadcast was about seven seconds ahead of the television picture. You almost expected commercials for a psychic hotline....

(I assume ABC used a tape delay to make sure nothing unseemly was seen or heard on television -- yet they never showed Howard Stern or Janet Jackson in the crowd.)

The Capital One Bowl in Orlando was a physical game at times. An Auburn offensive lineman was ejected in the second quarter, when he slugged a Wisconsin player who had pulled off his helmet. You need to keep your head, even when all around you are ripping at yours....

Auburn trailed Wisconsin 17-0 at the half, and the ABC broadcasters were shocked. They suggested Auburn's offense simply had not shown up. Well, I think it did - but it was inspired by the actors at Universal Studios Orlando.

The officiating of the Capital One Bowl raised questions a couple of times. Did you see Auburn head coach Tommy Tuberville in the second half, wearing eyeglasses - and NOT sunglasses? That's one classy, subtle way to slap the referee....

Wisconsin wound up whipping Auburn 24-10 in the Capital One Bowl. You know the Tigers were in trouble when the announcers mentioned David Irons as often as Kenny Irons -- and David is a safety making tackles.

The Wisconsin Badgers put the game away with a long end-to-end drive in the fourth quarter. That shouldn't have been a surprise - to see people from Wisconsin know how to milk a clock....

As for the dinner-hour Fiesta Bowl, I'll say only one thing: That Ohio State linebacker went to the wrong university. He should have gone to Kansas - and truly been A. J-Hawk.

The big bowl day wrapped up in Atlanta Monday night, with Georgia facing West Virginia in the No-Care Sugar Bowl. Well, I THINK I spelled that name right....

It was a dark and stormy night - but Georgia radio announcer Scott Howard declared the Georgia Dome was "safe, secure...." He apparently doesn't remember the August storm on a Saturday night several years ago, which put a hole in the dome roof.

The Sugar Bowl officials did not give anyone comfort. The referee said West Virginia wanted the ball first, when it really deferred. He walked off a personal foul on West Virginia, then turned around and called it against Georgia. It's a wonder he didn't show up at the New Orleans Superdome.

West Virginia scored first in the Sugar Bowl on a long, fast run - and of course, that made Legendary Voice of the Bulldogs Larry Munson concerned. "Remember the road runner? Remember the 'beep beep' guy out of Arkansas?" he said. And all these years, I thought those cartoons were set in Arizona.

Then West Virginia raced out to a 28-0 Sugar Bowl lead - and ABC showed pictures of stunned Georgia fans in the stands. If you didn't know better, you would have thought Ray Goff was coaching the Bulldogs again.

But Georgia rallied to trail only 31-21 at the half, and Larry Munson wondered how many "hours" were left to go. After about 12 hours of football on television, countless women were asking the very same question.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Our deadline comes before the Sugar Bowl ends - so we'll dare to declare West Virginia the winner based on early returns, and we'll check what really happened Wednesday.)

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