29 JAN 06: HUBCAPS, HOUSEKEEPERS AND HACKING

Car buffs probably already know this, but I didn't notice it until Saturday night - that some Columbus Police cars do NOT have hubcaps. I suppose the regular squad cars do without, so the D.A.R.E car and the undercover drug agents can look sharp.

As three Columbus Police officers dined at a Wynnton Road restaurant, I was parked near their squad car - and that's when I noticed it lacked hubcaps. Hopefully no one walked up and swiped them, while they were inside....

Someone pointed out to me later that hubcaps aren't really a necessity for police cars - and she may have a good point. The first city budget projections for fiscal 2007 show a big shortfall, which could mean more big personnel cuts. Can the squad cars do without taillights, too?

Reports over the last few days indicate Columbus Police may have to cut five desk positions, to balance the city budget. There's an easy way to handle this, of course. Have officers shoot some suspects, then put them on desk jobs during internal investigations.

City Manager Isaiah Hugley also suggests ten police officer positions be "unfunded." They'd be filled only if recruits are ready to take them. This sounds familiar for some strange.... oh yes. Alabama's basketball team has only seven scholarship players right now.

All Columbus city departments would be hacked by the budget ax to some extent. The fire department would lose five "non-firefighter" positions - which apparently means a couple more potluck dinners at the stations every week.

But has too much been cut from public safety already? A caller to WRCG's "TalkLine" claimed Friday when the St. Mary's Road fire company went out on a recent call, someone burglarized the station while everyone was gone. Whoever needed a 40-foot ladder for house painting should give it back....

Your blog has confirmed through another source that the St. Mary's Road firehouse robbery actually happened. Firefighters don't like to admit it, but crews often leave stations unlocked when they're out on calls. Maybe the answer is more fire dogs - like pit bulls.

A tight city budget apparently means there's no "house keeper" to lock up fire stations, when crews are out fighting fires. But perhaps we should ask if there needs to be one. After all, anxious shoppers lock their cars at 5:00 a.m. for sales on the day after Thanksgiving.

City Manager Isaiah Hugley is warning department heads to prepare for 150 position cuts, because Columbus has a nine-million dollar city budget deficit. And some of us thought a city sales tax on three-dollar-a-gallon gasoline would take care of that....

You may recall Columbus city government cut more than 100 positions last year as well. But City Manager Isaiah Hugley told the Ledger-Enquirer the end result was only two layoffs of people. Some vacant positions were trimmed, some people transferred to new jobs -- and if all else fails, there's an AFLAC job fair.

The biggest cuts this time may come in the city parks department, where 30 positions could be cut. Last year's cuts left at least two youth football fields unused, and without goal posts. Another cut this year, and it may come down to which house in the neighborhood has the biggest backyard.

City officials emphasize all this chatting about cutting is preliminary. A lot can change between now and the first city budget hearing in June. For one thing, City Manager Isaiah Hugley could win the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes.

Even with talk of staff cuts, Mayor Bob Poydasheff says he hopes to find a way to increase base salaries for police officers. He realizes that way, he can increase something else - base support for a second term.

In all of the stories about a tight city budget, nothing was mentioned about that one-percent "split sales tax" proposal - the one which the school board has endorsed. Remember that bandwagon? Maybe it's stuck in the dirt on Broadway, amid the Streetscape construction.

BLOG UPDATE: The Friday night news went back to The Wash Company on Talbotton Road, and updated a story you saw first here [18 Dec 05]. The dryer times are being trimmed again, and now a quarter gets you only six minutes of drying. If I want six minutes of hot air, I'll go to an oratory contest for free.

The Wash Company blames the reduced drying time on higher natural gas prices. But hasn't Atmos Energy promised the prices will go down in February? Doesn't this mean customers should get a different sort of "daylight savings time" come spring?

I have my own sneaky way of saving quarters at the coin laundry dryers. If you saw a car this weekend with three pairs of socks and a pair of jeans in the rear window facing the sun, you found it....

Now for other items from a warm and sunny weekend:

+ The Columbus Symphony Orchestra presented a "salute to Fort Benning" concert, to welcome home the Third Brigade. I was unable to attend this - so did they play that classic rock song, "I fought the law and the law won?"

+ Across the street, the Springer Opera House began a production of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet." I don't want to give away the plot - but I'll say only this: they didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement.

+ Phenix City School Superintendent Larry DiChiara announced a new environmental science center will be created, and named after late assistant Jeff Adams. He stopped short of naming a department on statistical probability after a former Superintendent, who enjoyed gambling in Biloxi....

+ Georgia's largest school bus maker "Bluebird" filed plans to enter bankruptcy. The demand for busing in the South simply isn't as strong as it used to be.

+ The "Real Time" telecast from Cascade Hills Church featured Pastor Bill Purvis admitting he was baptized with a busload of Alabama prison inmates. Come to think of it, this pastor doesn't wear many striped shirts....

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths edged Florida, to sweep a three-game home stand. It was "Legends Night" at the Civic Center - complete with two former players pretending to get in a fight. Well, if that's the only thing that makes you legendary around here....

+ Auburn edged Georgia in men's basketball 66-65. Unlike football, this "rivalry game" had plenty of empty seats at Beard-Eaves Coliseum. Can someone persuade the football players to take up basketball in the winter -- simply to give tough fouls?

(Somebody's got to ask it: is coach Jeff Lebo's job safe, with so many seats at Auburn home games empty? He hasn't drawn a loyal following to match Cliff Ellis's "Cliff Dwellers" - and isn't even doing commercials for Jeff-y Lube.)

+ Instant Message to Golden Corral: So it's "Carver's Sunday," huh? When is the day for Northside High? And Hardaway? And Shaw?

COMING THIS WEEK: An area school marks a big anniversary....

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