19 JUN 06: TWOS YOU CAN USE
Before we start, check your cash stash - and see if you have any two-dollar bills hiding in it. If you do, please do NOT be concerned. We are NOT publishing Leonard Crain's latest scam alert from the Better Business Bureau.
My Pastor recently said during a sermon that the two-dollar bill virtually has disappeared, because no one wants to use it. I don't recall exactly why this came up during a sermon - because he hasn't preached against gambling in a long time.
But the pastor's comment sparked some old thoughts in my mind. I used to ask from time to time for a few two-dollar bills, when I went to the bank on payday. I was doing my part to keep them in circulation - and make sure business money-takers were paying attention on the job.
Inspired by my pastor's words (though he probably wanted me to be inspired by other things), I went to my bank last payday and asked if they had a couple of two-dollar bills. I've learned over the years that not all bank branches have them -- just like not all banks offer any real interest on checking accounts.
The staff in the bank office had a few twos stored away. In fact, they brought me out FIVE of them. It was a perfect opportunity to see what would happen as I passed them around the area. Would people say anything? Would they summon police, and accuse me of being a cheapskate counterfeiter?
So over the last eight days, we've conducted what might be called Blog Experiment 2.00 - and now we share the results, of our passing around two-dollar bills.
2.1: A bread store in Phenix City. There's no reaction at all. It's all simply "bread" to them.
2.2: A main-floor bar at the RiverCenter, between acts of last week's opera. Two dollars buys you a 12-ounce mini-bottle of soda - which means four bucks for 20 ounces at the Georgia Dome actually is a better value.
The man at the bar takes my two, like it's nothing unusual. Maybe he considers me one of those typical eccentric arts spenders.
2.3: A dry cleaning business on South Lumpkin Road. I need quarters for the laundromat next door. The woman behind the counter seemed to pause for a moment -- but from her accent, I think she'd dealt with Euros as well as dollars.
2.4: A Spectrum station on Wynnton Road. The young woman there says nothing - perhaps thinking my two is the bait to distract her, so I can run off with a package of cookies.
2.5: The Library Café, inside the Columbus Public Library. It was nice to see Wednesday the price of brownies here has dropped from two dollars to one -- and the size isn't much smaller, either. Little Debbie slashed its brownies in half a year ago, to the size of about three Scrabble squares.
I offer $2.10 to the man at the counter, and receive only three cents back in change. "I gave you a two-dollar bill," I quietly point out.
"A two?!" the man says rather puzzled. Then again, someone else had to point out I was waiting at the counter for service in the first place.
The man wearing a military veteran cap (no, it's not Jim Rhodes) turns around to double-check the register - and sure enough, there's a two in the drawer. He gives me a one-dollar bill, and everything is settled. The man doesn't apologize, though - he's not one of those wimpy Vietnam vets like John Kerry.
So what does five times two equal -- other than ten? Nothing spectacular, really. We only found one error in handling the unusual bills, and no comments from recipients at all. Maybe businesses see more two-dollar bills than my pastor realizes -- which means maybe more people go to Victoryland than anyone knows.
BLOG UPDATE: Speaking of the Columbus Public Library, did you hear about the unusual honor it received? It's been named one of five model library systems in the U.S. - which means not everyone has heard about that fuss with the Albert Paley sculpture.
WRBL reports the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation cited the Chattahoochee Valley library system, in part for all the computers patrons can use. Considering Mr. Gates's company arranged computer donations for many libraries a few years ago, this could be a Microsoft version of the Pillsbury Bake-Off.
The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation also praised the Chattahoochee Valley library system for its financial endowment. Members of Columbus Council might argue it's not big enough - because the library board still has to go through the city to approve new statues.
BLOG BLAH BLAH: If New Orleans can be chocolate (or at least that was the mayor's dream for a couple of days), what flavor is Columbus? We're asking for your ideas, and now we have one:
WAVY GRAVY is the flav in Columbus. Walk into a Country's or McDonalds around here-you know what I am talking about.
T
I'll have to take your word for this one, T. I thought they only poured gravy on the Country's mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving - and McDonald's seems to hold the gravy on its breakfast cinnamon rolls.
Now let's satisfy our appetite for Instant Messages....
+ To the second graders at Glenwood School: OK, I admit - I'm jealous. You've already had a book published?! Can I have the name of your agent?
+ To the man standing downtown on Veterans Parkway, holding a sign: "I'M HUNGRY, CAN YOU HELP?" I didn't count you as a Blogger Beggar, because I was in the left lane. Stand in the median, and we might talk - dangerous though that would be.
+ To Tim Hudson: Why did you say during Wednesday night's Atlanta Hawks broadcast you "haven't decided whether to accept" an invitation to play in the World Baseball Classic? Are you dropping hints that an incentive clause should be added to your contract?
+ To the driver of an Intrigue with the Muscogee County license tag, "THICKS": Are you a Mr. Hicks? A Ms. Hicks? Or the manager of a Hardee's restaurant?
COMING FRIDAY: A song for the N.F.L. Conference Finals.... and one player in particular....
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