24 JAN 06: ACCESS DENIED
When you're given a church project and you're unable to accomplish it, the feeling can be downright discouraging. After all, the Bible says believers can do "all things through Christ" - but it doesn't add any fine print saying, "unless everybody else says no."
The latest project I've been given involves cable television systems in the Columbus area. The denomination I attend wants to put a new weekly telecast on "public access" channels. In religious terms, this is called "wise stewardship." In the business world, this might be called "cheapskate."
The Pastor of our congregation knows I have a television background, so he asked me to call local cable companies and see if our program could go on public access. This is different from "Government Access" - where the only religion occurs when someone gives an invocation at council meetings.
But I had bad news for the pastor last weekend. I'd already made several calls - and discovered NO cable companies in Columbus or Phenix City offer public access channels. Perhaps that's not surprising, since several companies provide little "public access" to human phone operators.
Once upon a time and perhaps under a different owner, Cable TV of East Alabama had a channel offering local news and information. But I was told no public access channel is available now. Why would they tear THAT down to redevelop downtown?
The Columbus cable systems are no better. You won't find a public access channel at NO-logy - oops, I mean Knology....
Charter Communications controls cable systems not only in Columbus, but also Auburn-Opelika and LaGrange. A check with their mystery main office Monday revealed they only have public access channels in South Carolina. Maybe that state has more loudmouths than we do around here.
The cable system in Eufaula also lacks a public access channel. It's the same story at MediaCom in Columbus -- where I guess the staff is too busy working on silly satellite TV jokes, for that comedy club in the commercials.
A background sheet for the religious telecast says cable companies provide public access channels "as partial compensation to communities for their use of public rights-of-way." Not in this area, they don't - except for channels for local government and schools. In other words, happy politicians come first.
Perhaps this explains why several low-power commercial TV stations exist around the area. WCGT TV-16 has acted like public access cable at times over the years, with talk shows hosted by Miriam/Eve Tidwell and Jerry Laquire. And of course, that's how Mike Gaymon of the Chamber of Commerce sprang into radio work.
Now that TV-16 is owned by Tampa's Christian Television Network, most of the local talk shows have disappeared. One exception is "Unity" on Sunday afternoons, perhaps because it has commercial sponsors - and probably because unlike Jerry Laquire, host Pam Willis-Hovey tends not to call anyone names.
While a few Columbus churches show weekend services on TV-16, they probably have to pay for that privilege. The congregation I attend is looking for free TV time - and admittedly, we're a little hesitant about trying to get that attention by calling for the assassination of world leaders.
Perhaps if enough members of the public speak up, public access cable channels will appear. But then again, maybe the Internet age is making these channels outdated. The denomination I attend puts its new telecast online - although it's much harder for guys with TV remote controls to find.
Now YOU have full public access to the Monday news headlines:
+ Congratulations to Columbus State men's basketball coach Herbert Greene, who won his 500th college game! The Cougars conquered South Carolina-Upstate 94-89. So where are the rumors about drafting HIM to run for Mayor - since he's won a lot more than Bob Poydasheff?
(Columbus State's leading scorer was a sickly Ron Robinson. Coach Herbert Greene admitted on WDAK at one point, Robinson vomited on the bench - perhaps thinking he was playing South Carolina-Upchuck.)
+ Columbus Airport manager Mark Oropeza confirmed he's negotiating with United Airlines, to start daily direct flights to Washington's Dulles Airport. How many lobbying trips does AFLAC have to make?
+ Phenix City School Superintendent Larry DiSciara told WRBL Alabama students are at a disadvantage compared with other states, because they're in class only 175 days a year. Aw, c'mon - simply tell the teachers to speak a little faster every day.
+ Opelika Mayor Gary Fuller announced a new police task force will focus on cleaning up drug dealing. The first target area is within a couple of blocks of police headquarters - which makes you wonder why the officers didn't simply park down the street, and start working on the walk toward the building.
+ Columbus NAACP President Bill Madison declared he opposes Georgia's "Voter I-D" bill, because it's immoral and isn't "in line with the Bible." Maybe I'm missing something here - but where in the Bible does it say people voted for leaders? At all??
+ Former Georgia Governor Zell Miller pulled another "zig-zag" - appearing at an anti-abortion rally in Atlanta, and repudiating his years of support for abortion rights. This man doesn't need a statue outside the state capitol. He should have a weather vane, turning back and forth.
(Zell Miller explained he changed his mind about abortion after he saw ultrasound images of his great-grandchild. Imagine if he saw pictures of bums, who spent all their money on lottery tickets....)
+ Ford announced it will close its Hapeville plant near the Atlanta airport, as part of a major downsizing. Only a couple of years ago, Ford was considering whether to build a new plant in Meriwether County. People in West Point had better not sell their property until the Kia plant has its grand opening.
(Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue told reporters there's "nothing wrong" with Ford employees, the plant or the entire state. It's nice to see he remains hopeful about Hapeville....)
+ In the weather, the morning low in Columbus was 57 degrees F. It was warm enough that for the first time, I took a morning jog outside. I did fine until the rain started falling -- and my body asked what in the world I was doing running outside at 8:30 a.m. in late January.
+ Back in basketball, the Atlanta Hawks handled Indiana 104-94. What a relief this must have been - to see the Hawks score 23 more points than Kobe Bryant had the night before.
+ Georgia basketball player Mike Mercer was named Southeastern Conference freshman of the week. He has a great sports trivia name - as another Mike Mercer was the kicker for Kansas City in Super Bowl I. This was way back, when three-point field goals only happened in football.
+ Instant Message to the man I saw on Fourth Street wearing an Atlanta Falcons replica jersey with Steve Bartkowski's name on it: Are you setting a trend here - suggesting the Michael Vick era is over already?
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