8 JAN 06: SHOW ME SOMETHING
I parked my car outside the supermarket. A man walked by and nodded. I nodded back, as I shut off the engine. The man approached my car window. I knew what was coming next - and no, I don't order my groceries on the Internet....
BLOGGER BEGGAR #2: "I'm not a bad person! I'm not a bad person!" These were the first words out of the man's mouth, as I rolled down my car window a bit on South Lumpkin Road Friday. When this is the first thing someone says, don't you feel comfortable and relaxed?
"Could you do me a favor?" the man continued. "Could you give me two dollars, so I can get gas for my car?" I can remember when two dollars in the tank could last a few days. Nowadays with some SUV's, it might not get you across Columbus.
"Your car's over here?" I was out of the car by this point, and began walking in the direction the man was pointing - away from the parking lot, and toward South Lumpkin Road.
"I have a gas can," the man explained. But of course, he didn't have the can with him. Perhaps he was guarding against a REALLY bad person coming along, pouring the gasoline on him and setting him on fire.
"Get in my car, and I'll take you to your car," I suggested.
"It's way over on Victory Drive," the man answered - which was less than a block from where we stood.
"Let's go to your car," I tried again. If he could walk all that way to the Winn-Dixie parking lot, I can show compassion and do the same.
"Just give me the two dollars," the non-bad person said. This was all too familiar. A man in south Atlanta years ago had a secret car and gas can somewhere near the Exxon station where he appealed to me for money. Why do I keep running across these plainclothes C.I.A. agents?
"Let me get this straight," I said to quickly bring this to a final showdown. "You can't get gasoline for your car unless you're paid money on this spot!?"
"Never mind, sir." NOW the man started walking toward South Lumpkin Road, away from me. I had pushed my logic all-in, and he folded.
"Don't you want me to help you, sir?"
"Forget it." It was his way, or the "high" way - morally speaking, that is.
"I'm willing to help you, sir," I said to give the man one last chance. "But you're not willing to compromise just a little to get what you need - and if you're not willing to show me either your gas can or your car, why should I believe you?"
"Never mind, sir." He didn't want to admit what seemed obvious -- his car and gas can were about as realistic as his chances of becoming Governor.
"What do you really need the money for, sir?" But he walked on, unwilling to talk any more. Too bad, because I thought of something later which I wanted to add. If you're lying to people - yes, you ARE a bad person.
BLOG UPDATE: Now back to the "bummin'" beggar #1, the one at the downtown McDonald's which we mentioned Saturday. We'd just let the man in the Alabama Crimson Tide coat inside, to buy him a cup of coffee for 55 cents. But there was a problem.
"The board says coffee costs 90 cents," I told the man.
"Fifty-four," he insisted. Well, this older man wasn't wearing any glasses....
"Can I help you?" a woman behind the McDonald's counter finally asked.
"I want a senior coffee," the man piped up before I could say a word. The menu board had no such thing - unless the $1.10 price of coffee is called something other than a large.
"He wants a cup of coffee," I tried to say politely and quietly. "And I'd like a Big Mac and a McChicken sandwich." Remember, I'd just run more than three miles on the Riverwalk. So this was a victory dinner -- even though I opened a door for sharing it, if the man suddenly decided he was hungry.
Problem #2: the McDonald's coffee pot was empty. It would take a few minutes to brew another. I was willing to wait - but the beggar took this time to slip out the door I'd opened for him moments before. Some people expect others to be patient FOR them, you know.
By the way, the McDonald's at 14th and Veterans Parkway accepts those highly-promoted new "Arch Cards." I had one on me, for a one-dollar discount -- but it was turned down at restaurants in Ladonia and north Phenix City, because they lack the equipment for it. Once again, Alabama is put to shame.
The sandwiches for my dinner came fairly quickly. The coffee for the beggar took several minutes to brew - so for all I knew, the man could have walked down the street to ask someone else for his next cup.
Finally the cup came, I walked out of McDonald's -- and the beggar was waiting at the door for it. "Thank you, sir," he said as he put the cup on top of a USA Today newspaper box - revealing a key reason why online newspapers never should take over completely.
As I drove home with dinner, I recalled something we mentioned here last year - that the Columbus city code has a section saying "tramps" are subject to arrest. But how can you make a citizen's arrest of a beggar, when the Public Safety Center now closes at 7:00 p.m.? Do I take him home tonight, and promise a "new home" for tomorrow?
As it happened, my Pastor mentioned at church this weekend we should be willing to give to the poor - but NOT to people on street corners asking for handouts. "That's why they have the bunco squad," he said, "to guard against scams." Usually we only talk about "bunco" at church when we're rolling dice on a game night.
So are people doing anything, other than asking for handouts in the parking lot? We found several examples of the opposite, from the weekend news....
+ TV Judge Greg Mathis told the NAACP Freedom Fund Banquet he's thinking about buying a home in Columbus. So? Johnnie Cochran came to Columbus a few years ago, opened a law office - and hardly came back to town after that.
(Hey, what do you mean the NAACP doesn't count? Chapter members took the cash handouts at the Trade Center door....)
+ Controversial 1968 Olympic track star Tommy Smith visited Phenix City Central High School. Smith told WRBL his "black power" salute in Mexico City was something he "had to do," but didn't want to do. I've never thought of a civil rights protest as similar to taking out the garbage....
+ A Fort Benning gas station began offering ethanol fuel. I could make some corny joke out of this, but I won't....
+ The Spring Harbor retirement home held a marriage ceremony. New groom George Benford is 84. New bride LaVerne Bishop is 82. Some of us mid-40's singles are wondering what they have, which we still don't.
+ The Georgia Lottery announced the Lotto South game will be "retired" at the end of February. We really shouldn't be surprised by this -- since people move to the South to retire all the time.
(Lotto South will be replaced by a new twice-weekly drawing called "Win for Life." We assume this will be conducted by attorneys for capital murder defendants.)
+ The Columbus Cottonmouths made it ten wins in a row, by felling the Fayetteville Fire Ants. So how close are they to breaking Tom Buck's record in legislative elections?
+ Instant Message to Winn-Dixie on South Lumpkin Road, where all this started: I don't care if you have it discount-priced. If you're selling milk past the expiration date, you are NOT "getting better all the time." You're breaking Georgia law, so you're getting worse.
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