16 MAY 08: ALL THE NEWS WE CAN'T PRINT

Thursday must have been a frustrating day for the staff at the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer. An early-morning fire prevented the newspaper from being printed and delivered on time. And here's the worst part -- the fire happened too late to make the final edition.

The Ledger-Enquirer's production manager says the fire started around 6:00 a.m. in the pressroom. Flames developed in the dust collection system -- and when you're talking about thousands of copies of newspapers, the Swiffer Duster isn't quite swift enough.

Columbus fire crews needed around 30 minutes to bring the flames in the pressroom under control. You can't help wondering how fast the response would have been to the Ledger-Enquirer, had Fire Chief Jeff Meyer been awake....

Once firefighters said things were under control, the press run finished -- and some of the Ledger-Enquirer's managers helped deliver the paper. You'll notice the economic situation still is NOT bad enough for managers to sit at street corners on Sunday mornings.

. (Maybe this is something the Ledger-Enquirer should do more often - have its "stars" deliver papers. Single guys would dream of having Sonya Sorich come to their door. But some people might dial 911, if Kaffie Sledge showed up.)

But wait, you may be asking - why was the Ledger-Enquirer printing papers at 6:00 a.m. in the first place? The deadline apparently was moved back because a plane loaded with Third Brigade soldiers had a late-night return to Fort Benning. By comparison, our blog deadline can get pushed back by other things - like a big night of poker, or an inability to come up with good jokes.

(So don't you dare say the Ledger-Enquirer hates Fort Benning! They held up a deadline for a returning flight of soldiers - while they never seem to do that for a late Auburn or Georgia football game.)

Ledger-Enquirer managers were quick to point out the content of Thursday's edition was available online. But of course, that's the larger problem for newspaper managers these days - people getting news updates online, and not bothering to buy something in print. We'd rather get a cramp in our fingers from a mouse than get ink all over them.

The Ledger-Enquirer's media partner couldn't even give it aid. WLTZ may be "the most powerful news source in the Chattahoochee Valley," but it was beaten on the air to the newspaper fire by Troy Public Radio -- and by about five hours.

If you subscribe to the Ledger-Enquirer and didn't get Thursday's paper, don't worry. It should be delivered with the Friday paper - thus giving you a big advantage in figuring out Thursday's Sudoku puzzle.

In a way, the timing of this fire was good for the Ledger-Enquirer. Had it occurred Saturday morning, Republicans would have accused the editors of censoring stories about the state G.O.P. convention at the Civic Center.

BLOG UPDATE: The Columbus Board of Realtors responded Thursday to an e-mail accusation we posted Tuesday. A spokeswoman named Betsy said her group did NOT provide alcohol for last week's "Fun Day" at Psalmond Road Park. If you see a can saying "beer," the word "root" may be hidden under the ice.

"The National Board of Realtors will not allow it," Betsy told us about serving alcohol at events such as Fun Day. Serve "five point" beer, and a home buyer might expect five points at closing.

Betsy admitted someone may have brought a cooler with alcohol on their own to last week's Fun Day, but that was NOT supposed to be done. It was supposed to be a day for hot dogs and hamburgers, with teams playing softball and volleyball. If you want to drown your sorrows over unsold BRAC homes, go to a vacant house and sit in the kitchen.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to our next complaint -- and we followed the dictionary's example here, by putting beer before breakfast:

Once again the hard working middle class gets the whammy. Their kids will have no more free breakfas t in MCSD starting next year..The poor kids eat free any way,which they should...I wonder if free breakfast will be served at the new administration building?

I think on some days, the new school administration building WILL have free breakfast. It all depends on which member of the staff springs for the doughnuts.

Muscogee County School officials admit there's not enough money in the budget to renew "breakfast for all" for another term. But middle-class students still will be able to buy breakfast at school. But wouldn't it be more economical to eat breakfast at home? Simply avoid the high-priced cereal boxes promoting the new Indiana Jones and Speed Racer movies.

Rigdon Road Elementary School Principal Phyllis Jones confessed to the Ledger-Enquirer she had been skipping breakfast, before the pilot program for students began last summer. Perhaps she was settling for something even more expensive than a school breakfast - like a double-shot cappuccino.

Here are some other Thursday news items to chew on....

+ Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson kicked off his campaign for re-election. Johnson's job seems much more secure than it did four years ago -- and as long as his son stays in hiding and doesn't appear in public with Zachary Allen, that will continue.

+ Zephaniah Baker officially announced he'll run as an independent, against State Rep. Calvin Smyre. WRBL noted Baker will be only the third election challenger Smyre has had in 32 years. Isn't this amazing - a House district in Georgia where only two or three Republicans live.

+ WLTZ showed a graduation ceremony at the Teenage Parenting Program. The main color for the caps and gowns seemed to be white - because let's face it, a mix of pink and powder-blue would have looked too tacky.

+ The Army Corps of Engineers announced it will allow Lake Lanier to hold extra water through the end of May. Corps officials said water flow down the Chattahoochee River is at normal levels. It must be, because no one at that Columbus "kayaking rodeo" the other day seemed to be walking around on the rocks.

(Despite recent rains, Lake Lanier still is 13 feet below normal. If things don't change by Independence Day, runners in Atlanta's Peachtree Road Race may be showered with moistened finger towels.)

+ Auburn basketball legend Charles Barkley admitted to a Birmingham radio station he's forgotten to pay a $400,000 gambling debt to a Las Vegas casino. This is why Barkley never has lived up to his famous promise to run for Alabama Governor. He'd be labeled the candidate of deficit spending.

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