20 MAY 08: LICENSE TO KILL
A lot of politicians talk about the "death tax." But how many talk about a funeral tax? A small part of the bill from all funeral homes goes to pay for a Georgia state license. So remember the next time a loved one dies -- those loved ones could be paying the governor's salary, whether they like it or not.
A report issued by the Georgia Secretary of State Monday revealed a Columbus funeral home has been doing business without a license. It's the J.W. Jones Funeral Home on.... well, where IS it, really? A Google search found addresses for it on Hamilton Road, North Lumpkin Road, Standing Boy Road and 13th Street. Maybe it all depends on where the hearse is parked.
To make things more confusing, there's no listing for J.W. Jones Funeral Home in the Columbus phone book. A man with that name has a home number listed in the white pages, but that could be a mere coincidence. No one would confuse the John B. McCain listed in Fortson of being that comic on Saturday Night Live.
Wherever it is, J.W. Jones Funeral Home apparently turned in a "Voluntary Cease and Desist Order" to last week's meeting of the Georgia State Board of Funeral Service. The order was for an "unlicensed practice." The staff may not have even bothered to get one of those fake online college degrees.
It doesn't cost a lot to get a Georgia state license. The application fee for a "funeral establishment" is 150 dollars. It also costs 150 dollars in fees to be an embalmer - which I assume includes the passing of some kind of test. Put the wrong chemical in a dead body, and you might wind up with The Incredible Hulk.
It's not clear what led to this "voluntary" cease and desist order - but I assume someone put pressure on J.W. Jones Funeral Home to file it with the state. Perhaps there was a lawsuit. Or maybe the staff offered customers DVD's of the series "Six Feet Under."
A check of the Better Business Bureau shows only two complaints against J.W. Jones Funeral Home in the last three years. But one of the complaints went unanswered - and even for a funeral home, that can be the death knell for a business.
The cease and desist order may have been even more voluntary because of staffing - and not with J.W. Jones Funeral Home. The Georgia State Board of Funeral Service has only two inspectors, while the state has more than 2,000 funeral homes. Hopefully someone is training Ray Brent Marsh in a very different career, while he's in prison....
This order from J.W. Jones Funeral Home makes two cases in three months of ethics problems in the area funeral business. In March, a Thomaston funeral home was fined $800 for not having eight caskets ready for display [16 Mar]. Who came up with that number - someone who was a big fan of the old TV series "Eight is Enough?"
BLOG UPDATE: The proposed pie of "public safety" money from the one-percent city sales tax was sliced again Monday night. Visitors at a Forest Road Elementary School forum were told some of the tax dollars will build two new fire stations. So the mayor's punishment of the Fire Chief really could have been much worse.
The last couple of weeks should have taught everyone that the Fire and EMS Department comes under our Director of Public Safety, Mayor Jim Wetherington. But when he started promoting a one-percent sales tax for public safety, how many people really thought that meant fire stations? After all, last summer's crime wave was NOT really due to a series of arsons.
The South Columbus Concerned Citizens group is now on record for the one-percent sales tax. President Owen Ditchfield says the city can be trusted with the money. And let's face it - Mayor Wetherington still has trouble giving people that wide and fake "trust-me" smile.
And in what might be considered a huge surprise, WLTZ commentator Al Fleming also supports the one-percent city sales tax. This is the same Al Fleming who cried out to city officials for years, "Where's our marina?" A passing speedboat must have poured cold water over his right-wing emotions.
Now a quick check of other historic moments, on the 28th anniversary of my college graduation:
+ Muscogee County School Superintendent John Phillips told WRBL the greenspace around the central library was being removed from a "master plan" for Midtown Columbus because it's "just a concept." Uh-oh - first it wasn't a park, and now it might really be anything?! Did Dr. Phillips have tickets to the Jerry Seinfeld show?
+ Columnist Richard Hyatt admitted on his web site that the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer is down to two staff photographers. There's never been a better time for a Hollywood star to make a movie in Columbus, and escape the paparazzi.
(Richard Hyatt also reveals the newspaper has NOT filled three editorial positions where employees recently retired. So when Hyatt was called in last week to deliver papers after the pressroom fire, it was a bit of desperation - either him, or extra money spent on minimum-wage help from the House of Mercy.)
+ The annual outing for older people was held on the Phenix City Riverwalk. People in their sixties and seventies could walk or ride on a beautiful spring day - then go up the ramp to that new coffee shop on 13th Street, and have it all ruined by looking at the price board.
+ Eastwood Christian Academy in Salem showed off a tractor which runs on school-produced fuel. The fuel is made from plant algae. Isn't this a rather extreme way to "go green?"
(If this school needs to promote its fuel beyond Alabama, I'm prepared to write a theme song. Let's see - "What's it all about? Algae....")
+ The Alabama legislature's regular session ended, and a proposal to end the state sales tax on groceries died. Once again, the Columbus Chamber of Commerce lobbyists came through.
+ Dalton, Georgia police warned fines will be imposed, if several residents do not remove Christmas lights from their homes this week. Talk about party-poopers! What if the bulbs are changed to red, white and blue for Memorial Day weekend?
(But then again -- if you need five months after the start of the new year to remove those lights from your home, you're either far too busy or far too lazy.)
+ Instant Message to Donald Aubrey: Some church pastor you are! I mean, three years in prison for molesting girls?! It's no wonder the Seventh-Day Adventists fired you from that position in Ladonia. And if that's not enough, the prison guards may force you off that vegetarian diet.
CLASSIC SONG OF THE DAY: WRBL launched a series of travel reports called "Daytrippin'" Monday night. If it seemed familiar, it should have. Brian Sharpe used to do the same sort of thing every week - and it earned his own song to the tune of "My Darling Clementine" on our blog 28 Jul 03:
Brian's Backroads, Brian's Backroads, Brian Sharpe will take a trip.
He'll see spots so unfamiliar
You'll ask why you give a flip.
He'll go all around the valley, Searching high and searching low.
He might find historic potholes
On the backroads he will go.
Brian Sharpe might go to Griffin
Or to Westville or Lanett.
But we're hard-pressed to remember
All the people he has met.
Brian's Backroads, Brian's Backroads, He makes trips so far away
That he ought to check the restaurants
And get more work done that way!
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