Thursday, September 01, 2005

This is a special fund-raising day among bloggers, for hurricane relief efforts. If you can help survivors of Hurricane Katrina, give to a Columbus TV station's relief fund -- or contribute to this faith-based organization, which provides aid around the world. Thank you for any help you can offer!



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1 SEP 05: PANIC NEAR BENNING PARK



The "Georgia Peanut Tour" was in Columbus Wednesday, set up by the state peanut commission. Suffice to say, the timing of this visit wasn't very good. If they don't have a way to turn peanuts into gasoline, forget about it....



We'll get back to that tour, but we simply MUST start with perhaps the wildest rush hour Columbus has ever seen. Crowds of cars suddenly filled many gas stations Wednesday afternoon - almost as if teenagers had been told about a surprise return appearance by Hilary Duff.



3:30 p.m.: Your mild-mannered blogger takes a walk down Fourth Street for a convenience store snack. The sign at Spectrum shows regular unleaded gas for $2.85 a gallon. The "low price" has jumped 50 cents in 18 days. Why don't gas stations have "employee discount" sales?



As I walk by Spectrum, I'm amazed by how busy the pumps are. It's not officially "rush hour" yet - and it's far too early in the week to head for Auburn and start football tailgating.



Up the street at Money Back, the gas line doesn't look any busier than most afternoons. A man stands inside wearing a giant "wreath" made of things such as a Krystal hamburger box and what looks like a transistor radio. Hurricane evacuees from New Orleans sometimes give themselves away.



3:45 p.m.: Walking home with my convenience store snack, the line entering Spectrum seems even worse. Cars almost extend onto Fourth Street. A man gets out of a red car in line, then the driver hurries around the building -- just as I walk behind them. Some would say there's a plot here to run me over.



I check the cars at Spectrum, wondering how many of them are hurricane evacuees from Louisiana. But to my surprise, all the license tags are local - Muscogee and Russell Counties. How IS Columbus going to handle all these extra Fort Benning soldiers?



4:00 p.m.: National Public Radio reports President Bush is releasing oil from the "strategic petroleum reserve." The President stuns some liberals about an hour later outside the White House, by pronouncing "strategic" correctly.



(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Remember the last time this reserve was touched? We do. Watch for a LaughLine Flashback about that Friday.)



4:30 p.m.: GPB radio reports on a gas pump panic in Sandersville, Georgia. People rushed to fill up on rumors of two disrupted gasoline pipelines from Louisiana. The gas station owners there say they have ways of obtaining more fuel. But for a few days, the staff should bring playing cards to work.



4:32 p.m.: I check a Phenix City web site which "had heard" wholesale gas rationing was under way. It's also posted this e-mail message: "Manchester is out. Waverly Hall is almost out...." This writer may have so many readers racing to gas pumps that he should charge a subscription fee.



5:00 p.m.: Early evening newscasts try to sort out fact from fiction. Misha Gates of WRBL says there's NO gas shortage - but panicking drivers might create one. You may remember how this occurred years ago with Beanie Babies....



5:50 p.m.: I take a late-day drive, and practically every gas station I pass has drivers filling up and lines of people waiting. Apparently a rumor spread that Columbus gas stations would close at 4:00 p.m. Yet so many have lines now that rumor-spreaders should be rounded up, to get the source of this junk stopped.



The price of regular unleaded is still $2.85 at Spectrum on Fourth Street, as well as Dolly Madison down Victory Drive. But not far away, Summit's price has jumped to $3.09. If you're going to donate to relief funds, why not help gas stations as well?



On down Victory Drive, a Chevron station has hiked its price all the way to $3.29. If this trend continues, convenience stores will start sounding like the trading floor at the oil futures exchange -- with open bidding.



(If you think that was bad, one BP station on Buena Vista Road posted $5.00 a gallon for regular unleaded during the rush hour. Some might call this price gouging -- but then again, maybe the staff wanted to take a dinner break.)



What makes this all ironic is that the $3.29 Chevron station is one block away from the Benning Park Recreation Center -- where hurricane survivors moved for shelter earlier in the day. Driving around that building, all seems peaceful. Yet somehow, the evacuees' anxiety spread all over Columbus.



In another curious twist, many of the cars parked outside the Benning Park Recreation Center have Georgia tags as well. Either local people are pitching in to help - or they drove survivors to the center from Hilton Terrace Baptist Church, so Baker Village residents wouldn't be tempted to loot Louisiana cars.



8:00 p.m.: After an evening workout, I drive past the Chevron on Victory Drive again. Now regular unleaded stands at $3.14 -- so maybe people are getting better prices per gallon on eBay.



"The price is three dollars, three cents at the Spectrum across the street," reports Columbus Catfish announcer Chad Goldberg from Golden Park on WDAK. These days, baseball and gas prices are a lot alike - because they're all about the numbers.



Only one problem: Spectrum on Fourth Street shows $3.09 on its board when I pass it a couple of minutes later. Either the price is changing by the second - or Chad Goldberg needs glasses more than the baseball umpires.



10:00 p.m.: WXTX "News at Ten" shows Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue, urging drivers to conserve gasoline and remain calm. That's easy for him to say - since he likes to travel by helicopter all over the state.



Georgia's Governor also signed an executive order during the day, banning gasoline price gouging. For those of you who see nothing wrong with it - well, I hope you're enjoying your multimillion dollar inheritance money.



10:15 p.m.: An ABC News special on Hurricane Katrina shows two gasoline pipelines truly have been disrupted, between Louisiana and the east coast. BUT the problems could be fixed as soon as this weekend. Yeah, as if people are in a mood to drive for Labor Day weekend trips now....



All in all, it was a wild afternoon for Columbus drivers. The last time the city had a "Wacky Wednesday" like this, Hungry Howie's was still serving pizzas on Manchester Expressway.



Amid all this hurricane-related havoc, the Georgia Peanut Tour went on as scheduled. Wednesday's stop was the Tom's Foods plant near downtown - where the company's decision to terminate a pension plan has the workers coming out of THEIR shells.



The Georgia Peanut Tour included a stop at Golden Park Tuesday night. People attending the Columbus Catfish game received free bags of peanuts. Hopefully the fans drove to the Red Cross office Wednesday, and donated those bags to people who really need them.



The Columbus Catfish broadcast included what turned out to be an exclusive interview with Georgia Peanut Commission President Armand Morris. As he put it: "Baseball and peanuts go good together." Even if proper English usage and farming don't?!



Armand Morris was asked about the benefits of peanuts. He said they contain amino acids, so they're "good for young ladies." Morris never explained the connection - but next time I have a date, I may ditch the bouquet of flowers and bring a can of peanuts instead.



E-MAIL UPDATE: Now back to our continuing coverage of Katrina, for this gripe from Justin:



I was just wondering why none of the networks are covering stories on the BILLIONS of dollars that countries around the world are donating to America for relief efforts?



I just love the way the US passes out $$ in the billions every year but no one even lifts a finger to see if they can help during our times of need.



Now that's the spirit in a time of crisis! When all else fails, blame somebody....



I heard this same sort of complaint in the wake of the September 11th attacks - and it turned out other countries DID offer assistance then. Perhaps you don't hear much about outside support because it goes against the traditional U.S. image. If we're a superpower, why do we need help from those wimps?



The Hurricane Katrina "blame game" is underway in many places. Talk show callers blame people who didn't evacuate. Survivors in New Orleans blame the government for not doing enough. Supporters of the government blame other countries. It's like that show on GPB Wednesday night -- "Will the Circle Be Unbroken."



As I wrote on another web site Wednesday, people tend to become impatient in times of crisis. Shocked and grieving people want relief, and they want it right now. Just think back to when Ray Goff coached Georgia's football team....



It takes time to coordinate the proper sort of help for people in need, and it seems we all should be patient and wait for that to happen. Of course, that advice probably will cost me an extra five dollars the next time I fill my gas tank.



Now for MORE continuing coverage - on that other hot blog topic, my sex life:



Dear A.V. (ALLEDGED VIRGIN); :)



Your recent post below [Wednesday's Song of the Day]....



GEEZ., the word "VIRGIN" freezes up my computer & keyboard! No joke, i mean, really ... the keyboard does a classic "no response with stationary cursor" to key strokes when i type that word! It sputters and stammers and I doubt they would let me into the Virgin Islands.



I can only conclude that a person who needs to tell the world he is a virgin at 40 (whatever) years of age, is either participating in a cute publicity stunt or is flat out fibbin!



If you have sexual content on your blog it is not really a good "G" rated Blog.



Discussing Virginity is (also) a sexual discussion ... in fact, it is surprising that anyone so repressed that he is an A.V. (ALLEDGED VIRGIN) can discuss something that is so personally sexual and exhibitionary. You did provide the caveat "Dictionary Definition." Huh? I would classify that concept of "Dictionary Definition of Virgin" in the same category as that illustrious statement: "That depends on what the meaning of "is" is." Baiting your public to discuss the Dictionary Definition of "Virgin," may be perceived, by you, to be tantalizing to your readers, and though i can only speak for myself, i find it, instead, well, in order to be polite i should just say that i don't find it tantalizing.



A.V. (ALLEDGED VIRGIN), if you are the "V" word and if you want to keep your Blog "G" rated ... have you noted that the discussion you initiated with your "confession/admission" (albeit, needy- attention-grabbing, very conflicted sexual content in a "G" rated Blog) is not "G" rated! It occurred to me that a person so emboldened as to publicly discuss his ALLEDGED "VIRGINITY" may not have the moral prerequisites to be a virgin. Also, if you have to rely on the dictionary definition, then maybe you aren't one.



But seriously, I do hope your repressions have not made you a vicarious pornographer or perversely exhibitionistic or alternatively inclined or idealistically delusional.



Conversely, your expressed desire to do a "G" rated Blog, despite your initiation providing subject matter to the contrary (and, in-keeping with that conflict) ... Maybe you can do a video ...



You can call it: "Like a Virgin ~ Reprise." I suggest you wear a tuxedo and try your best not to attract attention of a sexual nature to yourself throughout the entire song and dance. I think it is safe to say that the "Elvis-Pelvis" moves are out of the question ... Keep it clean :)



Wow - I'm old enough to remember when "A.V." stood for audio-visual.



Call me alleged if you wish, but how am I supposed to prove I am a virgin? I've read enough books to know it's much easier for a woman to prove it - and no, those books were NOT published by Playboy.



If calling oneself a "virgin" disqualifies this blog from being G-rated, then I have news for this writer. Don't read the King James Bible - because the word shows up there in some form more than 50 times.



(Sexual content on this blog? I thought virginity meant a LACK of sexual content....)



No, I do NOT have pornography in my home. Well, then again - does watching parts of The Jerry Springer Show count?



That remix of Madonna's "Like a Virgin" is an interesting idea. I could sit down throughout the song. That approach seemed to work for years for Roy Clark and Stevie Wonder....



BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for..... ahhhhh, forget it....



SCHEDULED FRIDAY: The national broadcast that's coming to Columbus....



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