23 SEP 05: JUST JOE-KING?

Our text for today comes from page 31 of the Columbus BellSouth white pages. I don't tend to read through every page of the phone book when it comes. As long as my name is spelled correctly, and no one puts an ad next to it calling me an idiot, I'm fine with it....

But recently a friend called my attention to page 31 of the Columbus phone book. In the first column, just above the phone numbers for Bludau's restaurant and Blue Cross - Blue Shield, we found this:

blow joe - 563-0790

Amazing - some "Joe Blow" has a listed phone number! But there's no address, so I suppose even famous names need a little privacy.

The Columbus phone book shows two other people with the last name "Blow." I don't know if they're related to Joe Blow. But thankfully, their parents had enough good sense not to name them Wendy.

A check of the other big local phone book from TransWestern Publishing showed the same listing for Joe Blow. Only in that book, his name is capitalized. So someone at that office must have been paying a LITTLE attention - not a lot, but a little.

So who is Joe Blow, and how did his name get in the Columbus phone book? The investigative reporter in me simply had to know - but I had to be careful. With a last name like that, it could be (ahem) some kinky phone sex line.

But then again, Joe Blow could be a pseudonym for some celebrity living quietly in Columbus. You know, like a member of Hootie and the Blowfish....

At last I summoned the courage to call Joe Blow's phone number -- and I wound up dialing it over and over again. That's because I kept getting a recorded phone company message, about "network difficulties." Thus this guy is truly a Blow-hard.

As we post this, we're still mystified by the Joe Blow phone listing. Did someone at BellSouth put this in as a joke? Was this once a secret number to call, for some kind of drug deal? And whatever happened to Joe's cousin - 1980's rap star Kurtis Blow?

BLOG UPDATE: A spat stemming from Hurricane Katrina blew wide open in Columbus Thursday. It pits the American Red Cross against the manager of "The Ralston" downtown. And no, it has nothing to do with providing Ralston-Purina pet food.

The Ralston's manager drove to the Mississippi coast after the hurricane, and brought back several older people. Now Darlene Van Pelt claims the Red Cross is reluctant to reimburse her for keeping evacuees. We thought VanPelt had a heart -- but now we find she carried a wide-open purse.

Darlene Van Pelt semi-mockingly gave the Red Cross's response to her request for reimbursement: "We didn't send those people to you. They didn't come through our shelter." Isn't it a bit like asking the Muscogee County School Board to cover your home-schooling expenses?

Darlene Van Pelt apparently also went to the Federal Emergency Management Agency about reimbursing The Ralston -- and was told, "The Red Cross is paying." FEMA's already paid enough, you know. Paying $500 a day to park trailers full of bottled water in Columbus, among other things....

It turns out The Ralston has received $2,500 in payments for helping hurricane survivors -- $2,000 from FEMA and $500 from the Red Cross. Perhaps this manager should try to hit a jackpot in more conventional ways, and take her van to Victoryland this weekend.

Now for other "shorts" we're wearing on the first full day of fall:

+ Harley-Davidson riders from across Georgia rolled into Columbus for an annual state rally. Their motorcycles will be so loud over the next few days that Fort Benning will be able to secretly test new high-powered weapons.

+ The new season at the Springer Opera House began with the Broadway musical review "Smokey Joe's Café." If Smokey Bones Barbecue doesn't sponsor this, the restaurant must be in trouble.

+ Civil rights legend Coretta Scott King checked out of an Atlanta hospital, after a month of treatment for a stroke. For some odd reason, her children did not walk out shouting, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, she's free at last!"

+ Friends of Roy Moore announced the former Alabama Chief Justice will declare his 2006 plans on Monday, October 3. Hmmmm - on the first Monday in October?! Which U.S. Supreme Court justice would he like to replace?

+ The Birmingham Post-Herald announced it will publish its final edition today. It's the only afternoon newspaper in the city -- so bloggers there now will need to post items more often.

(The closing of the Post-Herald means Birmingham joins a long list of cities with only one daily newspaper. Television newscasts in that city now will look more alike than ever.)

+ Instant Message to the Marion County, Georgia Jail staff: What's this I'm hearing about your jail being full of brown recluse spiders? How many suspects are confessing to crimes, after seeing them?

SCHEDULED SATURDAY: A new meaning for the abbreviation T.B.S....

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