for 18 JUN 05: ZEAL OF DISAPPROVAL

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this humorous, serious, or a little of both - but from time to time, we'll offer things to reflect upon as we keep the seventh-day Sabbath.)

We had a denomination-wide fast for church zeal a couple of weeks ago - so I decided to do what the Bible says and "stir one another up to good works." It happened unexpectedly, as I walked into church with a wet umbrella on a rainy day.

"That works much better if you open it," Mrs. S. told me as I walked by. In this denomination, zeal means being obedient. So I opened it - and stood in the middle of a church hall with an open golf umbrella. Thankfully, we don't believe in those "umbrella indoors" bad luck tales.

Trouble was, one section of the umbrella was a bit loose. "Let me fix that," Mrs. S. said. Aha, another chance to show my zeal.

"This is God's sacred Sabbath day, remember?!" I reminded her in a big voice like top preachers would use from a pulpit before thousands of people.

"What?!"

"We don't work on God's holy, sacred Sabbath day, remember?!?!" Now I sounded a bit louder and more urgent.

"Richard," Mrs. S. answered somewhat sternly, "shut up and put your umbrella away."

I've learned over the years what to do at moments like this - shut up and walk off. That way, there's no prolonged argument. And maybe the other person with the last word might wind up feeling a bit guilty about winning.

I put the umbrella and other things away where I sit at church, and decided to turn my zeal back to the obedient direction. Mrs. S. told me to shut up, so I wouldn't say anything until she said I could again. She's married, while I'm single - so I pulled rank in reverse.

Several people came up to me in the next couple of hours. There was a crisis with audio for a DVD presentation. Someone wanted a copy of a taped song. And I was asked to sing a solo for a special service the next day. I handled it all with gestures, trying not to say a word - but my gestures to explain who told me to shut up didn't work.

"Do you have a voice problem?" the presiding elder asked - but of course, I didn't. I had a zealousness problem. Attempting to speak up for right godly thinking, I did a "three and out" - three sentences, and disqualified from saying any more.

I hurriedly picked a song Saturday evening for a Sunday solo. But Sunday morning I realized there was a problem. Mrs. S. had told me to shut up the day before -- and the Bible says you shouldn't "bring a gift to the altar" until you settle disagreements with your neighbor. To make matters worse, I don't know sign language.

What if Mrs. S. didn't show up for church Sunday? That was a real possibility, as she's on a transplant waiting list and has several health problems. So I stashed a CD in my case as a backup plan - and to be really, really ethical, it wasn't mine.

I showed up for church with my song, the backup CD, and an open space for submitting the music announcement. About 15 minutes after I walked in, Mrs. S. walked in - and I walked up to her.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Convicted," I answered.

"Convicted?!" For all she knew, I might have been arrested Saturday night by the Marion County Sheriff.

The previous day, we'd heard a short message at church about "the law of kindness" -- and that message is what convicted me. In my effort to be zealous, I failed to be kind with my words. I explained this to Mrs. S., and asked for her forgiveness over the umbrella incident.

"What?!?!" she still seemed puzzled. "I totally forgot about that!" When I insisted, she forgave me and hugged me. "I was joking!" she explained -- what strikes some people as strange, in a denomination which takes the "false witness" commandment rather seriously.

In all, things ended well. Several people liked my Sunday solo in the special service, including Mrs. S. As I told her after the service when she complimented me, "Thank you for allowing me to sing it."

COMING SUNDAY:> A Georgia politician writes about.... being stupid?!....

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