Tuesday, June 14, 2005

14 JUN 05: JESUS JUICE IS JUST ALL RIGHT WITH ME



Yes, I know - our title is "The Blog of Columbus." But do you really think I can resist commenting on the end of The Trial Of The Century? Well, at least it is until Hillary Rodham Clinton becomes President, and House Republicans impeach her as well.



There actually are local things to consider about the Michael Jackson verdict. Someone told me Monday Jackson used to have relatives in Hatchechubbee, and he'd go shopping with them at Columbus Square Mall. This had to be a long time ago - because not many people remember when that mall had shoppers.



Did you see the videotape of Foxie 105 FM announcers dancing in the studio, after the Michael Jackson verdict was announced? It almost looked like they want to be on stage as part of "Victory Tour II."



WFXE-FM took phone calls as The Trial Of The Century ended. One woman admitted she felt very emotional after hearing the NOT guilty verdict. Why, she probably wishes Foxie 105 played "Heal the World" nonstop all day today.



(By the way, I guess the acquittal of Michael Jackson means "Family Day in the Park" is still on for this weekend. If the verdict had been guilty, attorney Joseph Wiley might have advised a cooling-off period.)



Unlike the O.J. Simpson case ten years ago, you cannot play a "race card" in the Michael Jackson verdict. Seven of the 12 jurors were white - just as some people say Jackson is.



Some people say all the legal challenges have left Michael Jackson at the brink of bankruptcy. But his acquittal Monday could change all that. Just wait until he comes out with his own line of "Jesus Juice."



I can only imagine the e-mail messages Michael Jackson received, after he returned to Neverland Ranch....


+ Dear Mike: Thanks for being such a legal pioneer. Signed, R. Kelly.



+ Dear M.J.: I knew you could do it. Signed, O.J. Simpson.



+ Dear Michael: Congratulations - but I don't think I'll need to be on your next tour after all. Thanks, Mariah Carey.



+ Yo, Jacko - Why didn't you cut a deal and go to prison like a man? Signed, Ludacris.



+ Dear Mr. Jackson: Could I please have your attorney's phone number? Regards, Russell Crowe.



E-MAIL UPDATE: Suddenly it seems everybody's getting into the blogging act....



Hey Burkard,



I've been enjoying your blog for a while now. You got a good tongue for words there neighbor.



I put up a link to your blog from mine. I live over in Buena Vista GA and have a blog called Bubbas Back Porch Blog.



Oh yeah... and I got a comment for you if you want to use it in your header there.... "Burkard ain't never wrote a blog that you couldn't read in church, or at a mullet supper." -- Bubba



Take care...



Bubba



Thanks for the note, Bubba. If you ever come to church with me, hopefully you won't mind if my formal friends call you Mr. Bubba.



To be honest, I've never read from my own blog at church. Some people in my home congregation might find out I've written about them, and start a movement to have me suspended. Why, they might even plant cigarettes under my car....



(A "mullet supper," hmmm? I'm not a native Southerner - so does that refer to a barbers' convention?)



Actually, I've known about Bubba's Back Porch Blog for awhile. I haven't mentioned it because I've been waiting for Bubba to post a big breaking Buena Vista news story -- you know, like pictures of cars running the traffic lights.



From the pictures I've seen at his web site, Bubba actually DOES keep the blog on his back porch. That's a good idea -- because you don't want that thing wandering out in the backyard and getting dirty.



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