16 JUN 05: BLACK, WHITE AND GRAY

News item: "I have not received one complaint about panhandlers." - Mayor Bob Poydasheff on WXTX News at Ten Wednesday....

"Say - are you willing to give a black man some help?"

These were the very first words a man said to me on Fourth Street Tuesday evening. When someone plays a "race card" like this right off the bat, you wonder how full his deck is.

"What difference was skin color make in whether I help you?" I asked in return. Sometimes it seems to make a difference at places like the House of Mercy, but not for me.

"I had one man tell me, 'We don't help black people,'" was the beggar's answer. I'll assume that man was passing through while heading to central Alabama -- but not Selma....

"I'm trying to get something to eat for me and my son," the beggar continued. "I live in Manchester." He had no money for food -- and at 8:00 at night, all the food pantries in Columbus are closed. They tend to keep hours worse than some exclusive salons.

Thankfully, this beggar was outside the Spectrum store on Fourth Street -- so I offered to go inside with him and buy something. Then came problem #1: where was his son? "He's in the car over there," he said pointing toward Villa Nova Beverages across Second Avenue. Don't you appreciate responsible fathers?

I should have made the beggar walk me to his car, because to save his son from possible heat exhaustion. But I'd come to Spectrum to break a five-dollar bill with a snack, so I decided to move things along. I tried to time this trip to avoid questionable people after dark -- but believe it or not, sometimes they show up early.

Problem #2: as I motioned the beggar toward the door of Spectrum, he said: "They don't want me going in there." Who doesn't? The store management? Or his bosses in some Booker T. Washington apartments organized crime ring?

I insisted the beggar join me inside to choose his food - so we entered together. The beggar started not with food, but with a bottle of SoBe. It was a bright yellow drink - so what flavor do they call that, Velveeta Lemon?

"I want a hot dog," the beggar continued. He was standing in the hot dog aisle, so I motioned for him to pick one - but then along came Problem #3. Her name was Bernadette.

"I told you after what happened last week -- you're not supposed to be in here!" From the tone of her voice, I quickly concluded they were not dating each other. Besides, she appeared to wear a Spectrum shirt.

"He's trying to get something to eat for himself and his son," I told Bernadette in an attempt to defend the beggar. "They're trying to get food, and he lives in Manchester."

"And you BELIEVED that?" If there's a civil suit coming against Michael Jackson, don't expect this woman to make the jury.

I didn't tell Bernadette I believed the beggar, because I honestly wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or bluffing. Aren't compassionate people supposed to err on the side of mercy in cases like this? Or should I have bought him a few beers -- you know, the poor man's truth serum?

"If I didn't believe him, I'd be profiling him. And that's wrong," I said as Bernadette turned away to return to the cash register. At least a few of us have been listening to local civil rights leaders -- even if it's only to avoid a boycott.

Now it was Bernadette's turn to be insistent. The beggar had to leave empty-handed -- and he didn't even have the hot dog in his hand yet. Sometimes it pays to grab your food and eat in a hurry.

The beggar quickly put the SoBe bottle away. Trouble was, he missed the SoBe case and placed it in a case with beer. How many guys would have wondered why Budweiser would have come out with a new sunlight yellow flavor....

"We should put things back where we found them," I told the beggar. Then I put the SoBe bottle in its proper place as we left. No, I didn't think at that moment to escort the man to his alleged car - and put HIM back where I should have found him.

The beggar walked away without asking me for anything more, and I walked inside Spectrum a second time. As I picked out two bags of M&M's (on special for 88 cents), Bernadette returned. Thankfully, she doesn't throw out customers on grounds of appearing gullibly stupid.

"I'm sorry I was so rude," Bernadette said, "but he's what you call a beggar. He walks around here." So maybe "Manchester" is what he calls the dog he sleeps with, in somebody's crawl space.

I paid for the candy, left Spectrum to walk home - and the beggar was nowhere to be found. Perhaps he moved the other direction on Fourth Street to Money Back, under the "alternate store rule."

This blog topic was planned well before Mayor Bob Poydasheff made his comment about panhandlers on the Wednesday night news. He added the problem "is minimal, IF it exists...." If anything, this reveals the mayor lives in an upscale part of town....

A quick check of the blog archives indicates I've encountered NINE different beggars in Columbus in the last nine months. So if Mayor Poydasheff calls this a "minimal," perhaps nonexistent problem -- well, will some police officer please tell him where he can read this online?

(That count does NOT include meetings with a beggar in Opelika, a questionable fund-raising drive in Phenix City and that homeless man holding the sign in Memphis. Maybe my blue wallet simply is too bright and eye-catching....)

They're talking in Atlanta about making the downtown area a "no panhandling zone." And compared to Atlanta, perhaps Columbus has a "minimal" problem with beggars. I kept a count in 1996 in metro Atlanta, and met ten beggars in 60 days.
Amazingly, not one of them wanted Olympic tickets.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Uh-oh - we received a message Wednesday with the headline "Proper JACKO Etiquette." At first we feared Mark Gallegos was suing us for Tuesday's comments about Michael Jackson - even though he was dismissed from the legal team months ago.

Thankfully, the e-mail did NOT threaten a lawsuit - not yet, at least:

Hey Richard,

Did you wear a single, white glove while you typed your Jacko blog about the self-proclaimed "King of Pop?"

Stuck in traffic in Birmingham!!!!

Oh dear - no, I didn't put on a white glove at the keyboard Monday night. In fact, I've been forgetting to take gloves with me into bookstores and libraries lately. After all, you never know when you might stumble upon a copy of the Koran.

This stuck-in-traffic writer (I'll assume this was written on a laptop while waiting at a stop light) raises an issue I forgot the other day. Had Michael Jackson been convicted, would he still have been the "King of Pop?" Or would Coca-Cola have reclaimed this title?

Quickly wrapping up other Wednesday items:

+ Financial reports released in Washington show Congressman Lynn Westmoreland owns more than 550 acres of land in Harris County, valued in the millions of dollars. Imagine if HE wanted to build a World Children's Center there....

+ A Columbus retirement complex displayed the art work of resident Celia Hurley. She just received a bachelor's degree in art from Columbus State University, at age 80! Too bad she focused on paintings, instead of giant statues....

+ The Rod Hood youth football camp began at McClung Memorial Stadium - and the big surprise guest was Philadelphia wide receiver Terrell Owens. This certainly was convenient. Owens was right down the street from Victory Drive, where countless women could recreate that scene with Nicolette Sheridan.

(Isn't Terrell Owens holding out for a better contract with the Philadelphia Eagles?! So how much did Rod Hood have to pay, to bring him to Columbus - not to mention the cost of improving his downtown hotel suite?)

+ Georgia's boxing champion Evander Holyfield became the second celebrity voted off "Dancing With the Stars" - which should end forevermore the lines about African-American men having a "natural gift" for such things.

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