17 JUN 05: GOTTA GO TO MOE'S?

"Best new concept!" reads the glowing review on a Veterans Parkway billboard, near Hughston Orthopedic Hospital. Before you ask - no, I don't have the money to buy this sort of space to promote a blog....

This mini-review is posted for Moe's Southwest Grill, which recently joined the crowd of restaurants around Columbus Park Crossing. There's something for almost every taste around there now - and for you exceptions, I suggest writing T.G.I. Friday's personally.

The billboard persuaded me to visit Moe's Southwest Grill the other night for dinner -- but the restaurant wasn't quite what I expected. The first disappointment came when I drove by, and found Moe's sharing a building with Guthrie's. The Olive Garden and Carrabba's wouldn't stand for that - and, well, they've got connections.

The parking lot around Moe's Southwest Grill suggested it was a busy night - yet I was able to park right by the door. Only later did I realize people parked there to attend the Columbus Park Crossing theatres. It's nice to see people get some exercise after sitting for two hours munching on popcorn.

Only a couple of booths were occupied inside Moe's -- and in a way that was the second disappointment. I brought a magazine to read while waiting for dinner, and wound up going through a line which seemed suspiciously like it was borrowed from Subway.

You need to know the lingo at Moe's Southwest Grill before you go to the counter. Some of the items have names which left me baffled:

+ "Blabbermouth Soup" - the name of a lime margarita. Well, I suppose if you drink enough of them at a party....

+ "The Other Lewinsky" - a taco dish. For all I've heard about Monica Lewinsky, I never heard about her having a brother or sister in Texas.

+ "Joey Bag of Donuts" - the name for a burrito dish. This place doesn't serve real doughnuts, and the signs never tell you why Joey has a dish named after him while Moe doesn't.

A paper menu I picked up as I left Moe's explains the menu has "names that made Moe laugh." Was he grilling at the time -- or roasting some funny leaves?

That's the third disappointment about Moe's Southwest Grill. I didn't find anything grilling behind the counter. My order of chicken fajitas (oops, an "Alfredo Garcia") revealed diced chicken was in a plastic bag. They claim the ingredients are fresh, not frozen - but at least Blimpie cuts the meat after you order it.

For $6.99 I received enough tortillas, chicken and extra trimmings to build three stuffed chicken fajitas. At a Mexican restaurant such as El Vaquero, I probably would have received more for the same price - and not carried by me on a bland plastic tray.

With a large soft drink, my evening at Moe's cost about nine dollars - and at the end of the counter line, there was a tip jar. Either this is for serving the alcoholic beverages on the drink menu, or this "Southwest Grill" may employ real Mexican immigrants.

If Moe's Southwest Grill has a lookalike restaurant in Columbus, it's Que Pasa Burrito Company on Sidney Simons Boulevard. The food at both places left me full, but in different ways. Que Pasa keeps you waiting longer for a burrito, while Moe's keeps more money away from your wallet.

The Moe's menu suggests the owner doesn't take things too seriously - and perhaps that was my problem. I went expecting a sit-down, big-menu "Southwest Grill" with fancy Tex-Mex dishes. I wound up with a high-priced, inside-joke-filled Taco Bell.

By the way, I guessed an eclectic place such as Moe's might be based in Austin, Texas -- and I was wrong. Its headquarters is in Atlanta. And the only "southwest" locations it has in metro Atlanta are in Fayetteville and Newnan -- none around Greenbriar Mall.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Several items filled the InBox Thursday - and amazingly, none of them complained about Evander Holyfield being booted off that ballroom dancing show. First up:

I am still chuckling to myself as I write this note to you.

The demolition of the King MIlls happened last summer and only now it is noticed? Grown humans mourn the loss? If my parents cherished me as these do-gooders cherished the property in question, I would never have made it out of infancy.

Where were/are these people? They are tasked to preserve a near-sacred heritage and they can't be bothered to check on the very existence/condition of major artifacts? Is the Civic Center still standing? Just checking.

I also love the irony in the punishment for the destruction of sacred property in Muscogee County - $1,000. Man, back in the day, the penalties discussed in the "cow"napping of Kadie were far more serious. Last I heard, Columbus wasn't exactly a Hindu stronghold.

So, if the "art" is placed in front of the library, could a benefactor destroy it and pay a paltry $1,000? I would bet that a collection taken would more than cover the cost.

Ed Joyce

Valley Village, CA

You'll be pleased to know, Ed, the Columbus Civic Center still was in its proper spot as of Thursday night. But "Larry the Cable Guy" is performing there Sunday, so anything could still happen....

Ed's referring to a story in the Ledger-Enquirer this week about the demolition last year of a historic downtown mill on First Avenue. I guess preservationists raised a fuss about it - but I personally never heard any complaints. There's no e-mailer called "Is Our City Old" to promote such things.

No, Columbus isn't turning Hindu quite yet - but the mention of Kadie raises a thought. What if we put that cow in front of the Public Library, instead of the 30-foot-tall statue? Simply add a giant-sized book about Chick-Fil-A for Kadie to read, and we could settle everything.

Speaking of that proposed statue - here's our next message:

Columbus, Georgia will always be ruled by groups of a few people, such as Library boards, etc. The demographics there, due in part to Fort Benning, are too great to achieve a popular vote on any issue that can benefit the entire populous. The "Powers That Be In CSG", over the 37 years I lived there, always seemed to be trying to promote themselves as smarter than they are, or need to be - something I think has to do with the Civil War! Have you ever noticed the way some of the "higher ups" speak in an accent that seems to be a "SOUTHERNER TRYING TO TALK LIKE A NORTHERNER?" Where did they come from?

Hell, add another couple of pennies to the local sales tax, and see what these people can do, er uh, screw up! I'll leave you be for the time being, because I've got to see what the politicians here can do about building the Birmingham Dome! Seems the PTB are the same everywhere! Let's form a
committee...............

Cordially,

Stuck in traffic in Birmingham!

PS.

I say they erect the proposed library "Statue-Ask" at Chef Lee'sand leave the new Library alone!

They've been talking about a domed stadium in Birmingham for years. They've talked so much, in fact, that the XFL went out of business -- and Alabama moved all its home games to Tuscaloosa.

Come to think of it, "Stuckey," I have noticed some people in Columbus who come across as "smarter than they are, or need to be." They seem to call WRCG's TalkLine every couple of days.

But what do you mean - Columbus leaders are "Southerners trying to talk like Northerners"?! If that's not a slap in Councilor Mimi Woodson's face, I don't know what is....

By the way, about that statue: the Muscogee County Library Board announced Monday it will hold a special public meeting Monday night about "art in the library." We encourage Chef Lee to come and offer his ideas - to help Columbus become a Taoism stronghold, instead of Hindu.

Our last e-mail came in response to Thursday's story about the man seeking help on Fourth Street:

Dear Richard,

I can't help but wonder if the beggar ever got anything to eat? I would have to say to the employee of the Spectrum "So what that he is a beggar?, he is also a human being in need!"

That poor man must have been so embarrassed. Actually I'd better correct the statement, that man is not "A beggar" he is a human being who has had to resort to begging in order to survive. Calling someone "a beggar" somehow removes them from the human equation. It's very easy to forget when you have money and a place to live how lucky you are to have those things. There are people in all communities that life has kicked down and won't let back up. And so many people are just a paycheck away from homelessness and hunger.

The Mayor is not unlike most community leaders who view these people as less than human (and he must if he doesn't see them). It reminds me of when The Democratic Convention was in Atlanta and the city leaders were concerned with how it would look to the world if they could see the homeless
people roaming around. So what did they do? They found places for them to stay until the convention was over with and then kicked them back out on the street!

The Mayor's "Read Every Book" program although sweet, is so outdated when compared to the real problems Columbus is facing.

Sincerely,

Eva Lee

I appreciate your concern, Eva. But please note when I walked out of Spectrum with that man Tuesday night, he did NOT ask me to go back inside to buy a hot dog and drink for him. If he had, I would have done it. But I've met several "beggars" who wouldn't wait for me at the door - but run off like I was on Candid Camera.

Perhaps it isn't nice to call such people "beggars" - so it was interesting to learn Thursday that the Columbus city code has a section about the people who ask you for money. The code calls them "tramps" instead.

To quote the Columbus city code: "Any person who shall go about from door to door within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of begging for his or her benefit.... with no fixed place of abode, shall be known and arrested as a tramp." Of course, the man I met Tuesday wasn't going "door to door." He stopped me on a sidewalk.

Based on this portion of Columbus city code, any homeless person who asks you for cigarettes or food can be arrested. So if someone asks you for help, first ask him to show his mortgage or apartment lease - and if he can't, try to drag him to the Public Safety Center. Suddenly you'll appear crazier than he might really be.

Hopefully Eva realizes there's a difference between the truly poor, downtrodden people of a city and the "street hustlers." It's often easy to spot the difference. Needy people will let you buy them food or accept a bed for the night. Street hustlers suddenly won't want that - and they only take cash, not checks.

But hold on here - isn't reading one of the "real problems" Columbus faces? Surveys have shown large numbers of adults are illiterate. If they could read the disclaimers and chances on lottery tickets, they'd save a lot of money not buying any.

We invite all of you who can read to consider final thoughts from Thursday:

+ The Georgia Public Service Commission held a hearing on changing phone service in the 706 area code. You'd have to dial ten digits, even to call a neighbor across the street. Shouldn't some of us receive an exemption, for not owning a fax machine?

+ Heckler and Koch revealed its Columbus "gun factory" is now going to be a distribution center, with only 40 jobs instead of the promised hundreds. How many jobs were lost on the Columbus Chamber of Commerce staff remains to be seen....

(The OneGeorgia Authority has approved a $300,000 grant to help secure the Heckler and Koch site in the Muscogee Technology Park. That comes to about $7,000 per employee - so I'm going to assume these workers belong to a union.)

+ Instant Message to that woman I recently called M.: Your silence since our visit is saying it all -- with no phone calls and no e-mails. Did I get my hopes too high for us? Or did I pick a bad letter of the alphabet?

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