28 JUN 05: COWTOWN U.S.A.

Perhaps we shouldn't have been surprised - but an online poll by the Ledger-Enquirer has found the favorite piece of "public art" in Columbus is the statue of Kadie the cow. So how many people voted at a special computer set up inside Best Buy?

Voters were given a choice of eight public artistic landmarks in Columbus, and Kadie the cow led with 24 percent of the vote. We hope the Chamber of Commerce takes advantage of this. If Marietta, Georgia has the "Big Chicken," Columbus can have everyone turn at the "Colossal Cow."

(Kadie is the mascot of a dairy which no longer exists on Manchester Expressway. Perhaps Mr. Schuster should play "adopt-a-cow" and claim her for Burger King, before Chick-Fil-A recruits her for commercials.)

If this was a political race and we had a runoff for favorite public artwork, Kadie would face - a fountain. The one at Wynnton and Buena Vista Roads came in second in the survey, at 17 percent. Put the two side-by-side, and we wouldn't have to be worried about Kadie dehydrating in the heat.

Third place in the public art popularity contest with 16 percent went to "Iron Mike." For you newcomers to the area, this is the infantry statue at Fort Benning. Mike Ditka never played in Columbus, and no one could pay him enough to coach here.

Other artistic landmarks in Columbus didn't fare so well in the poll. The "Four Images of Man" showing Christopher Columbus on the Riverwalk received only six percent of the vote -- and most of those probably were skateboarders, who use it regularly to practice jumps.

A statue of a police officer and a child did a bit better in the poll - the one located inside the second floor of the Public Safety Center. But there's something strange about that work of art. To get a good close-up look at it, don't you have to be under arrest?

One candidate in the Ledger-Enquirer's online poll admittedly surprised me -- the giant "T-Rex" atop an antique mall at River Road and Veterans Parkway. Is it really fair to call this "public art?" It probably wouldn't be there, if owner Allen Woodall wasn't trying to distract shoppers into coming inside.

Then there's the four percent of the voters who say they like NO public artworks in Columbus. If only we could trace how many of them sit on the Muscogee County Library Board....

Of course, the Ledger-Enquirer did this online survey because of the controversy over a proposed Columbus Public Library statue. After checking the results, I wonder if many people oppose "Transformation" because it's rather abstract - and they don't want a statue they have to think about to understand.

By the way, why did Phenix City have no contenders in this public artwork contest? Would it be willing to take "Transformation" - maybe to put in the middle of the lake at Idle Hour Park, to become a taller fountain than that thing in front of the RiverCenter?

Public "artwork" can pop up overnight these days. I was surprised over the weekend by a giant balloon shaped like a human, fluttering in the wind outside Everything Musical on Veterans Parkway. I guess that thing was supposed to be gyrating like Elvis Presley....

If that wasn't enough, a giant "space alien" balloon had been blown up above the shopping center where Everything Musical is located. This store already has a piano on its roof - so why can't the staff teach the alien to play it?

If you think about it, several other things synonymous with Columbus don't have monuments - but maybe they should:

+ A statue for the Miss Georgia pageant. But of course, that would devolve into a "swimsuit versus evening gown" debate.

+ A statue for the people who cleaned up Phenix City 50 years ago - or is still unsafe to name most of them publicly?

+ The Riverwalk has a bust of AFLAC executive John Amos, but none of his wife Elena. Artists could keep the Cuban flag on it small, to avoid controversy....

COMING WEDNESDAY: Results from one of our busiest Big Blog Questions ever.... and a focus on one of its areas....

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