2 JUN 05: THE BANKS ARE CLOSED

Fort Benning added to its "off-limits" list Wednesday - but this time it wasn't for a business. Soldiers were told to stay away from part of the Chattahoochee River. Apparently generals finally heard that old Alan Jackson song about "learning.... a little about love" on the Chattahoochee.

Fort Benning banned soldiers from going on the Chattahoochee River or its banks, for one mile on either side of the 13rh Street Bridge. I'm concerned this may help terrorists -- since troops now have only two bridges available to cross into Alabama....

(Just wait until members of the Navy and Coast Guard hear about this restriction. They'll mock the Army, for not allowing soldiers to get their feet wet.)

Fort Benning took this unusual step because a soldier went fishing on rocks in the Chattahoochee last month. He drowned when Georgia Power raised the river level. The electric company didn't learn its lesson from that - and on Wednesday received a higher rate level, to drown customers already in debt.

WRBL reported while part of the Chattahoochee and its banks now are off-limits to Fort Benning soldiers, the two riverwalks are still OK to use. Yippee! I now have my own running lane - because the troops won't dare jog or ride bicycles on the side closest to the river.

I admittedly haven't made many trips to Fort Benning, but I thought there was an area on post where soldiers could fish in the Chattahoochee River. So why would they go to the 13^th Street Bridge to.... oh yeah, I forgot. Downtown areas are upstream from Continental Carbon.

Your blog pointed out last month [16 May] the Phenix City Riverwalk has several large signs warning people NOT to stand on rocks in the Chattahoochee River to fish. If Fort Benning has to add a ban on top of that, maybe its soldiers need lessons in remedial reading.

A competing local blog has been speculating fishing along the Chattahoochee River downtown soon could be banned for everyone. After all, if the downtown dams are demolished for whitewater rafting and kayaking, those paddlers could put up a tougher fight than the fish.

(This blogger even has suggested a fence might go up on the Phenix City side of the Chattahoochee, to stop fishing. It would be the perfect way to market a revitalized downtown Phenix City - "Destin exclusivity, closer to home.")

Isn't it curious that while some Fort Benning soldiers are risking their lives in Iraq to build democracy, other soldiers aren't even allowed to stand along a river in downtown Columbus? The troops may be "fighting for our freedom," but they're being forced to give up a lot of their own....

There may be an ominous sign in this decision by Fort Benning. Drive 1 went on the "banned list" last year, and it shut down. Coach's Corner went on the list, and it shut down. Now soldiers are banned from part of the Chattahoochee River -- so are we in for a long drought?

Now let's watch our step, as we consider other items from Wednesday:

+ The U.S. Justice Department accused Taylor County schools of promoting race discrimination in clubs and honors programs. If the federal government is getting around to Taylor County only now, a ruling on the Kenneth Walker case should come sometime in 2007.

(And here we thought Taylor County solved its discrimination problems by ending the segregated high school proms -- but racially-divided clubs?! Are African-American students taught a mix of French and Ebonics?)

+ Wachovia Bank admitted one of its Georgia predecessors owned 160 slaves, in the years before the Civil War. Today such people would be known by a different title - drive-through tellers.

+ Shaw High School's semifinal playoff series in Carrollton was postponed by rain for the third day in a row. Isn't there an enclosed dry place to play baseball here in Columbus? Simply clear out the rotunda of the new public library....

+ Former Shaw and Columbus Wardogs star Troy Bergeron was named Arena Football's rookie of the year. He's a receiver for the Georgia Force - where it must not be easy to play well, amid all the lame jokes and comparisons with Star Wars.

+ Georgia's heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield made his debut in a new sport - appearing on the new TV series "Dancing with the Stars." We're thankful Holyfield didn't have a flashback, and try to bite the ear of his dance partner.

+ Instant Message to Callaway Gardens: Did I read your news release right -- a new world record for water ski jumping was set last weekend by someone named Freddy Krueger?! [True!] Did he force you to declare this at knifepoint?

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