19 JUN 05: STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

When I turned on The 700 Club on NBC-38 Friday, they were talking about a book called, "They Think You're Stupid." What could this be - Pat Robertson's tell-all personal message to his donors?

But then they introduced the author, and the name rang a bell. "They Think You're Stupid" is a new book by Herman Cain, last year's U.S. Senate candidate from Georgia. So that title could have referred to most of the Republican voters....

Herman Cain is still a no-holds-barred speaker. He corrected the interviewer on The 700 Club, to say he finished an "IMPRESSIVE second" in last year's Republican primary for Senate. Cain apparently doesn't realize on this show, you're supposed to give glory to God and not yourself.

(In a way, Herman Cain DOES have a point. It was impressive that he beat Rep. Mac Collins last year -- especially since all sorts of Democrats were unable to do that for years.)

But about that book: Herman Cain says the two major political parties "think you're stupid" by assuming you'll be loyal to them, no matter what they do. So which party's political sin is worse - locking people up without charges for years in Cuba? Or committing adultery with a White House intern and lying about it?

Herman Cain contends large numbers of voters have lost all loyalty to the main parties. He calls those voters "politically homeless." Well, at least he doesn't call them tramps....

The "politically homeless" don't feel comfortable with the growing division of "red states" and "blue states." So maybe they round out the picturesque U.S. flag -- by being white with fear over both of them.

But Herman Cain is NOT politically homeless. He's still a Republican, and thinks the G.O.P. can gain "homeless" voters by emphasizing core issues such as health care and taxes. Apparently the pasting of Bill Clinton photos next to Democratic candidates doesn't work anymore.

The interviewer on The 700 Club said Herman Cain sounded like a man who wanted to run for office again. Cain's reply was, "to be determined." Hmmmm - can you imagine Cain running against Governor Sonny Perdue next year, and actually endorsing the 1956 state flag?

By the way, the foreward to Herman Cain's book is written by former Senator Zell Miller. Perhaps Cain will arrange that meeting so many political watchers want to see - a duel with pistols between Miller and Chris Matthews.

(Isn't this amazing -- a longtime Democrat, writing a foreward for a Republican candidate's book?! Zell Miller has zigzagged so much, they might take his name off north Georgia's "Zell Miller Highway" to discourage drunk driving.)

I guess all of this begs a question: do the political parties think I'M stupid? That really doesn't matter in the final analysis - because I already realize I'm stupid at some things. But you're probably tired of me writing about dating....

E-MAIL UPDATE: "TRAMPS?" was the title of a message in response to Friday's entry. But it goes farther:

Dear Richard,

It's appalling that the government still refers to people as tramps. I wonder how long ago that was written? Believe me, I definitely know the difference between a hustler and a needy person. There are "hustlers" in all walks of life! If that man had asked you for money to go into the package store that would have been different. I guess it was the woman at the Spectrum who treated that man like a stray dog who got to me the most. I also realize that not being able to read is a huge problem. I understand that being able to read is the basis for all other learning success in a classroom as well as in other areas of life. The point I was trying to make is that the last thing on a persons mind when they are hungry is finding a book to read. I guess the Mayor would suggest the book "Green Eggs and Ham"
to a person asking him for food.

Great Blog, keep it up!

Eva

A co-worker wondered the same thing, Eva, about how long ago the Columbus city code on "tramps" was written. I'm guessing it came from the era of Charlie Chaplin's "Little Tramp" - because Disney's "Lady and the Tramp" was a lot more positive.

I've met both "hustlers" and street people - and I think more of them have been hustlers. Take the man standing outside Villa Nova package store one weeknight a couple of weeks ago. He asked for money. I asked why. "I want a beer," he said. At least he was honest - much too honest.

But there ARE some street people who consider reading important. I picked up one in downtown Atlanta years ago, who started bragging to me in the car about reading Newt Gingrich's "Contract With America" at the library. He said this without any prodding from me - and no right-wing talk show host on the car radio.

But hold on - would Mayor Poydasheff really suggest "Green Eggs and Ham" to a needy people? If the beggar reads that, his brain will be fed for a day. Give him a Nigella Lawson cookbook, and he might eat for a lifetime -- if her steamy pictures don't distract him.

It happens that I was stopped by another, uh, person in need Saturday night. That makes two in five days - but this was in Phenix City, so I wasn't sure if I was allowed to make a citizen's arrest and drag the person to the police station.

It was Saturday night jogging time, and a middle-aged woman sitting on a bench along the Phenix City Riverwalk stopped me as I ran by. She mumbled something about needing "a couple of dollars to get back to Opelika." At that price, I assume it wasn't by taxi.

"I don't bring any money with me when I run," I told the woman as I jogged in place. My car was more than a mile away by foot -- and if I'd offered to take this woman to a bus station, she might have needed until sunrise to make the trip.

(Besides, a concert was in progress at the Phenix City Amphitheater not far away. Couldn't any of the hundreds of people there help her? Or was she left on this bench by a relative, because she considered the music simply too loud?)

We have one other e-mail, which takes issue with our Friday restaurant review:

If there is one thing that should get you kicked off this "blogsphere" it should be for criticizing a fine establishment like Moe's! While I have never been to the one in Columbus the restaurant in west Knoxville is a fine place.

Of course we look at it for different reasons. I take my family there because....

a. It is loud so the kids won't bother anyone else.

b. You can make huge mess with out many problems.

c. Kids eat free so when the wife and I split a burrito we get out the door for $12 (unless alcohol is involved).

Truly one of my new favorite places.

Hope things are well. Say hey to everyone in Columbus.

Justin

Ouch - please don't kick me off the blogosphere, Justin. I might punch a hole in its ozone layer....

Justin raises a good point, about looking at Moe's Southwest Grill through different perspectives. I didn't see any families with children there on the weekend night I visited. But I did see a middle-aged man with a braided ponytail reaching his waist - so is this place REALLY for children?

I didn't realize "kids eat free" at Moe's. The billboard on Veterans Parkway says the children's items "start from $2.99" - for dishes such as a taco called "Puff the Magic Dragon." You'd think a restaurant chain like this would cut a deal with "Dragon Tales" on PBS instead.

By the way, we need to correct what that billboard on Veterans Parkway said. After another drive-by Saturday, its mini-review called Moe's Southwest Grill "new concept of the year." Perhaps the "concept" was putting a donut name on a burrito....

Now a quick trip around a very busy weekend:

+ An estimated 15,000 people attended "Family Day in the Park" at Cooper Creek Park. But Columbus Police had to break up several fights - so maybe next year the Foxie-105 and WOKS listeners will have separate stages.

+ The Columbus Public Library staged a "movie under the stars" outside after dark. The turnout was so big that people had to park near the old Sears store on Macon Road - marking the first time that's happened in years, without people boarding a bus for Biloxi.

(But whose idea was it to have the movie screen face Macon Road? Talk about a distraction for drivers -- or is this simply getting us ready for that 30-foot-tall statue?)

+ The band "Wet Willie" headlined a concert at the Phenix City Amphitheater - and the crowd was much smaller than for John Conlee's show last year. Perhaps the group should have performed a few weeks ago, when the Amphitheater actually WAS wet from flooding.

+ Earlier in the day, ministers gathered at the "P.C. Amp" for prayer. It was timed for the 12:00 noon weekly storm siren test in Columbus - so I guess these Christian preachers won't object if the local Muslim mosque starts blaring prayer calls five times a day.

(The timing of this prayer is quite interesting, because the Bible speaks of sirens in several -- oh, wait a minute. Those are the Cyrenians....)

+ The "Real Time" telecast on NBC-38 featured Cascade Hills Church Pastor Bill Purvis giving a Mother's Day message. Yes, on Father's Day weekend. When will we hear about dads, around Thanksgiving?

(It could have been worse, I suppose. At the church I attend, the pastor didn't give a Father's Day message. He spoke instead on "The Spirit of Prophecy" - and mistakenly said Germany still uses the mark for money.)

+ Instant Message to Warm Springs Road Storage: Why would anyone need to store a road? Can you really keep heavy pavement on upper shelves?

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $1.96 a gallon at the 15^th and Veterans Parkway Summit (but hurry, the price jumped nearby).... 32-ounce drinks for 49 cents at RaceTrac on Victory Drive.... FREE sleeping over the Chattahoochee, on the 14^th Street bridge (I saw someone doing it)....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Due to schedule commitments, we'll have to skip a Monday blog entry. We'll try again Tuesday.)

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