8 JUN 05: I LIKE IT LIKE THAT?

Suppose they held a public hearing on the city budget, and the public didn't show up. That happened at Columbus Council Tuesday night, as no one spoke during an open hearing. But that's what happens when the city competes against a state championship baseball game....

For all the chatter on talk radio and all the fuss online (including here), not one person spoke at the Columbus Council hearing on cutting positions and services to balance the city budget. Perhaps the relatives of the people losing jobs were busy - like at Kinko's, making copies of resumes.

City Manager Isaiah Hugley offered a theory on why no one showed up to speak at the budget hearing. He said people are watching the city's Government Access Channel to become informed of the situation. If that's true, that channel may have more viewers than channels 16 and 66 combined.

City Manager Isaiah Hugley says several people have come up to him, saying they understood the budget situation after watching work sessions on cable TV. No one bothered asking how many of those people hold positions with the Chamber of Commerce.

The budget hearing was at 6:00 p.m., which should be a convenient time for many people. But I could offer several other theories about why Columbus residents didn't show up:

+ People realize THEY will be on the Government Access Channel for a week - and they're simply not sure what to wear on television.

+ They couldn't find a George Santayana quote, to match the one Randy Robertson put in his letter to the Council the other day.

+ If people want to talk to walls which won't respond to them, they can go to abandoned buildings on Victory Drive.

+ They fear someone in city government will get angry, and come after them. After all, they hire jail inmates to cut weeds at city parks....

+ They believe they'll get better results attending the next Mayor's Prayer Breakfast - and praying, not talking to the mayor.

+ We're now in the e-mail era, and residents can send messages to Columbus Councilors anytime they wish. But then, anything sent between 1:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. probably is held in suspicion.

I was so busy Tuesday that I never had time to check e-mails - so hopefully there were none, and we can move on to other brief subjects:

+ Phenix City crews began preparing to install phone lines under its Riverwalk. Well, we certainly don't want Fort Benning soldiers tripping over them and touching that off-limits sand near the Chattahoochee.

+ News reports revealed housing advocate Millard Fuller and his wife hydroplaned and flipped their car in Troup County Sunday. They escaped with only minor injuries, which they credit to being "surrounded by angels." Hmmmm - does that mean some other group is guiding the Habitat for Humanity board?

+ Columbus High School swept Shaw 10-2 and 9-1, to win yet another state baseball title. Imagine how worse it could have been, had some major league team drafted Columbus pitcher Iain Sebastian during the day....

(The doubleheader at Golden Park had to be played without a scoreboard, because it was knocked out of service by a lightning strike. This gave Columbus an unfair advantage - because that school is better known for math scholars.)

+ Russell County's "Mr. Baseball" Colby Rasmus actually was drafted. In fact, the St. Louis Cardinals took him in the first round - and if he'd like to donate that nice signing bonus to the county to keep ambulances running in Seale, they'll thank him very much.

(Are the Columbus Catfish paying attention to any of this? They claim to offer "pro baseball in a baseball town" - yet the high school teams seem to know how to win a lot better.)

+ Instant Message to Chick-Fil-A: I don't know why it took me years to think of this - but why haven't any pigs joined the cows on your "eat more chicken" billboards? Are they neutral, like Switzerland? Or do they quietly fear they're the next target?

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