5 JUN 05: CAN'T BEAT THE STREETS

Did you hear the good news about Columbus roads? A new national survey shows this is the best medium-sized U.S. city, in terms of quality of streets. Perhaps too many drivers already know this - and that's why they speed on so many of them.

The Road Information Program (TRIP) rated roads from coast to coast, and determined 82 percent of Columbus streets are "good." Only two percent received a "poor" rating -- and the agency hopes we'll pave over the bricks on Broadway before long.

How did Columbus win this honor, of the best medium-sized U.S. city for roads? I suspect the weather plays a major factor. There's little ice or snow in winter, for potholes to develop. And it's usually hot enough in summer that fresh asphalt melts in a hurry.

Despite this top score from TRIP, the city of Columbus has determined 45 percent of the roads are in need of some sort of work. And you know how city government works - the busier road crews appear, the more likely they are to escape budget cuts.

Thanks to one-cent sales tax money, Columbus city crews are able to pave 30 miles of road each year. So why does it seem like they kept paving the same stretch of Macon Road over and over for the last few years?

Despite all the work, there are always some spots in the streets which refuse to stay repaired. One of them is near my home, in the 700 block of First Avenue. A spot in the middle of the street isn't accepting asphalt, dirt, rocks or gravel. It's almost like a vagrant is living in the sewer, and rebelling.

As of Saturday evening, a cone marked the trouble spot in the middle of First Avenue - and city crews had smoothed out some rocks in hopes of fixing the problem. If that doesn't work, it could be time for a truly Southern approach. Have people spit tobacco wads on the asphalt, to make it sticky enough.

Other cities handle troublesome streets differently. When I lived in Atlanta, I called it "the city of steel plates" - because so many of them seemed to cover rough spots in the roads....

It was disappointing to learn the other day that TRIP rates my home area of Kansas City as having the worst roads in the country. It's not like the residents are trying to tear them up. Not that many people drive to major league baseball games there anymore.

Speaking of travel, did you see the pictures of the Salem-Shotwell Bridge in Lee County? That old covered bridge was almost ripped in two by Thursday's storm. But the good news is that Coca-Cola may be willing to pay for repairs -- as long as an old-fashioned billboard is painted on the outside.

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: A man and woman were talking outside in the Historic District Saturday evening - and the woman had a favor to ask.

"Do you have a hot glue gun?"

"A what?"

"A hot glue gun."

"What's that?"

"It's a gun - only it's got hot glue."

Now that we've cleared that up, let's send out some weekend Instant Messages:

+ To the Columbus city arborist: How did you come up with the total of 26 fallen trees during Thursday's thunderstorm? If you know where every tree is in town and whether it's standing or not, your power seems a little scary....

+ To all readers who have followed my air conditioning exploits: It came on for the first time this season Saturday evening - in the 23rd hour of a church-wide 24-hour fast. Call me a wimp if you wish.

+ To Muggs on Veterans Parkway: About your sign offering a "really big cold drink" for 99 cents - how big is really big? Is that like a large? A jumbo? Or is it something in between?

+ To Stevie B's Pizza on Airport Thruway: Don't get me wrong - your buffet is a fantastic dinner value. But really now, a "Mac and Cheese Pizza?!" Which naive six-year-old asked you to put that on the menu?

+ To Hartz Chicken at Veterans Parkway and Airport Thruway: Your box dinners are really interesting. I didn't know you were supposed to eat mashed potatoes and gravy with a spoon.

+ To all parents of Mountain Brook, Alabama High School students: I sincerely hope Natalie Holloway is found alive. But with all due respect, somebody's gotta ask it -- a high school senior trip to ARUBA?!? There are much safer ways of flaunting your money than this. Take Biloxi....

+ To Troy Bergeron and the Georgia Force: Congratulations on advancing to arena football's Arena Bowl! But why did Philips Arena have plenty of empty seats for Saturday's semifinal? Have Atlanta rap stars decided indoor football isn't cool?

COMING MONDAY: An update on one woman's library crusade....

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