8 DEC 04: STILL STANDING

Auburn University came off accreditation probation Tuesday. Governor Bob Riley was happy. Interim President Ed Richardson was happy. And members of the Faculty Senate huddled in private, to check whether they were immune from Richardson firing them.

The Southern Association of Colleges and Schools decided Auburn had made enough
corrections to go off a one-year probation. Perhaps the best sign of change came at the Southeastern Conference championship game -- when trustees sat in a box separate from the coaching staff.

SACS apparently believes Auburn has changed sufficiently, and trustees no longer "micro-manage" university affairs. As we've come to know, this now is left to the Interim President.

Some faculty members at Auburn say even with the end of probation, trustees Bobby Lowder and Jack Miller still should resign for the good of the university. Either that, or their title should change to "distrust-ees."

Auburn students seem pleased by the SACS decision. They say with probation ended and accreditation still in effect, their degrees will be worth something when they graduate. It would have been a shame to see all those diplomas in the trees at Toomer's Corner....

Interim President Ed Richardson said with probation removed, he hoped "Auburn War Eagles" now can focus on other things. I guess that's why he's INTERIM President - because after one year, he hasn't learned "War Eagle" is a battle cry, not a person.

Will the Auburn faculty now turn their guns against Ed Richardson? Some instructors said Tuesday if he lingers on as Interim President, it will be "disastrous" for the university. These members should be patient about this - because after the Sugar Bowl, Tommy Tuberville might be interested in the job.

BLOG UPDATE: This entry again is being posted at a "secure undisclosed location" - because my home computer still won't let me on the Internet. The journalist in me is quite tempted to dub it, "Crisis in the Web: Day 10."

When last we whined - er, told you -- about this saga, I couldn't unscrew one screw on my computer case to change my CD tray and restore Internet service. Thankfully a neighbor came to my rescue Sunday afternoon, with a pair of pliers. Not for unscrewing, you understand - for banging on the screw, to get it loose.

With his help, the computer case came open - only there were more screws to undo to remove the computer CD tray. And my one "Phillips-head" screwdriver didn't fit any of them! It's enough to make you understand why Phillips is also a name for milk of magnesia.

With nearby hardware stores already closed late on Sunday afternoon, I admit I copped out - and went to Kmart. I've been boycotting those stores for keeping Martha Stewart items on the shelf - because how many other convicted felons would be allowed to do that? Well, other than the rap artists....

I spent more than nine dollars for a seven-piece screwdriver set - all to get the one tiny Phillips-head screwdriver which would work with my CD tray. Maybe I can use the others for pounding on the "computer repair" section of the phone book.

After a bit of wrestling, I was able to replace CD trays on my computer. I hooked up all the cords, plugged in the mainframe and - nothing. It wouldn't even come on! This is why I take all the "Charlie Brown" TV specials quite personally....

I'd followed all the instructions of the computer repair shop and the installation manual - and now my computer was dead. Part of me wanted to donate that thing to the Muscogee County Sheriff's Department for target practice.

But I calmed down and returned my computer to the repair shop Monday afternoon. HE plugged it in, and everything was fine. The expert explained sometimes "static energy" of some sort can build up in a computer, which takes 24 hours to clear away. This may explain why they don't shoot fireworks on every night of the Festival at South Commons anymore.

With a running computer again, I drove home to run the "Restore CD" and regain Internet access. But when I placed the CD inside, the computer AGAIN ignored it! You'd almost think I took the machine to Denny's for dinner or something....

"ATAPI Incompatible," the message now said concerning my new CD tray. Incompatible? I knew it - this whole exercise was symbolic of my dating experiences over the last five years.

The computer shop was unable to figure out what "ATAPI Incompatible" means Tuesday - but the expert plans another call to Cisco Systems today, to find an answer. In the meantime, home Internet access is still out - except somehow for America Online's "Instant Messenger" welcome page. If this is some kind of sales plot....

Now quick items to wrap up a Tuesday:

+ Murder suspect Tobias Lee was captured in Monroe, Louisiana, after a three-day search which centered in Columbus. Lee had been spotted at the Mockingbird Mobile Home Park Sunday -- and let's face it, no one wants to be famous for being spotted there.

+ What's this I'm hearing about attorney Richard Hagler dancing at a Bar Association event well after 9:00 p.m.? Doesn't he know - well, then again, maybe he doesn't have any children to waiting for him at home....

+ Instant Message to Troy Public Radio: Do you pay any attention to your "Band World" show? Tuesday night's program sounded so amateurish that the hosts made the "Car Talk" guys sound mature and professional.

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