27 DEC 04: JOIN THE CROWD

After more than seven years in Columbus, I've learned the best time to go shopping. It's Sunday morning, when large numbers of people are in church. If anyone points a finger at me and asks why I'm not in church, I simply say: "I was there yesterday."

Given this knowledge, I decided to go out around 10:45 Sunday morning for half-price chocolate at Target. But before I arrived, I received hints this Sunday would be different -- because at several churches, the parking lot was only half-full.

Target was a busy place -- and as I walked toward the door, I saw an example of how giving people are at this time of year. A southbound car swept in and took a parking spot near the door, before a patient northbound driver could claim it.

I elected to take a parking space in the center of the Target lot. For one thing, the walking to and from my car is good exercise. For another thing, all the aggressive parkers wouldn't be tempted to call me names.

Did you see the "Good Morning America" the other day on people's parking strategies? Some are "stalkers," actually following shoppers to their cars and waiting for them to depart. The best revenge for such drivers is obvious -- leave the items you bought in the trunk, then walk back inside.

Regular blog readers know the day after a holiday is the best time to buy chocolate -- and on this "Boxing Day," the bags of M&M's at half-price were plentiful. But my main problem was finding them. Target reorganized its store recently, to add more grocery items. I didn't check to see if the Target Dog is on his own brand of dog food.

For some reason, the half-price racks at Target were full of M&M's bags - but hardly anything else. Either Hershey's didn't bother to sell holiday kisses this year, or people considered this a germ-free alternative for moments under the mistletoe.

The trip to Target also uncovered something I'd been hunting for months - a pair of maroon socks. This color is part of my wardrobe, but has been missing from major department stores. It's almost like they knew Washington's football team would have a lousy season.

I thanked the checkout woman at Target not only for the half-price chocolate, but for being a "safe haven" at this time of year.
You know - no Salvation Army bell-ringers....

From there it was on to Peachtree Mall -- not really to shop, but to exercise. The St. Luke Ministry Center gym was closed for the holiday weekend. Come to think of it, that seems strange - since I guess the sanctuary was open for Sunday services.

For the first time since last February, I walked for exercise at Peachtree Mall. It's the only place where I keep track of how fast I move. Most of the time for me, a "time trial" is when people don't show up on time - and I consider it a trial.

The mall walk began at 11:51 on a Sunday morning, and nearly every store at Peachtree Mall was open. I've only seen one other shopping mall where this happened - and in San Juan, I assume it's because so many Catholics are in and out of mass by 9:30.

(In fact, so many people were around a register at J.C. Penney's that you'd think Christian activists were trying to change the initials to Jesus Christ.)

The attendance was moderate at Peachtree Mall, and that allowed me to move quickly down the aisles. Speed-walking at a mall is a bit like NASCAR racing - except more females are likely to "spin out" and change direction, when they spot bargains.

I wound up completing two laps inside Peachtree Mall in less than 24 minutes - about 30 seconds faster than the last time I did it in February. Perhaps this shows I've been out running more this year. Or perhaps it was because I turned my head away from the Victoria's Secret window as best as I could.

Now let's slow down for some other notes from the last weekend of 2004:

+ A touch of sleet was on my windshield wiper, when I strolled to the car for the shopping trip. It wasn't even enough to throw at a neighbor, and pretend to have a snowball fight.

+ Retired Judge Albert Thompson died. He was the first African-American elected official in Muscogee County -- and don't you wonder how many times Sheriff's Deputies pulled him over for searches?

+ The Columbus Riverdragons advanced to 10-1 on the season by beating Florida. They're playing so well that a major trade may be in the works - exchanging our team for the Atlanta Hawks.

+ The Atlanta Falcons lost 26-13 at New Orleans. Michael Vick was "inactive" for the game, only days after signing that $130 million contract. Does team owner Arthur Blank let all Home Depot employees pull a stunt like this?

+ Instant Message to "The Place" in Cusseta: I wasn't able to get to your show of "Cusseta's Hottest Girls" late Saturday night. Were there three of them, or four?

2004 IN REVIEW, CONTINUED: July began with a new Georgia law, allowing bars to sell stronger beer. Maybe now we know why people are waiting longer than ever for SafetyCab to answer the phone....

July brought the Georgia primary - and in a battle of Republican Senate candidates, Johnny Isakson beat Mac Collins. The race was so lopsided that I don't even think a majority of Apple Computer users voted for this "Mac."

Locally, the showdown for Superior Court Judge went to Bobby Peters. Roxann Daniel certainly went quietly - so quietly that we're not sure she ever conceded the race.

Remember the chicken spat of July? Several employees at a Popeye's on Wynnton Road walked off the job, after one was fired for leaving a back door open. Inspired by this, several pro football teams have thrown "backdoor" passes for touchdowns this season.

July marked the start of Ritmo Latino's decline. Co-founder Jose Ricci was indicted for embezzlement - and now about the only way you can hear Spanish music in Columbus is to turn up the theme songs of soap operas on Univision.

But Jose Ricci was not alone - as the daughter of Councilor Nathan Suber was indicted on embezzlement charges as well. At least Cynthia Suber hasn't been spotted speeding through residential neighborhoods since then....

Phenix City began a summer of celebration in July, marking 50 years since vice was removed from the city. Of course, now that there's the Cadillac Jack's nightclub on the 280 Bypass AND Sunday beer sales, people may have decided enough's enough.

But there was no celebrating in downtown Columbus, when Kravtin's announced it would close after eight decades in business. I still don't understand why the owners didn't do what "Downtown Jewelers" did -- and move to Cross-Country Plaza.

Columbus lost another familiar name in July, when broadcaster Chuck McClure died. I still suspect he died from the shock of hearing Don Imus supporting John Kerry on WRCG....

Another local broadcaster left the air suddenly in July - WRBL news anchor Dave Marshall. Someone raised a stink about a stinking apartment complex. Marshall made a stink about that to his boss. Then it became an online stink, when someone leaked his news script to us.

A major renovation of Columbus Trade Center was completed in July. It apparently was so impressive, Vice President Cheney and his wife took a personal tour of it weeks later.

Eufaula Mayor Jay Jaxon suggested a change in the city's name during July, to "Lake Eufaula." Then a hurricane blew through the area in September, and almost turned his dream into a real nightmare.

The end of July brought a four-day "tax holiday" across Georgia. If President Bush can get his way with the next Congress, the holiday season may last all year-round....

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: The jokes for today have concluded. But you're welcome to read on, for some serious reflection.)

BUT SERIOUSLY: After my Sunday of shopping around town, the real world slapped me squarely in the face. But it's hard to believe 11,000 deaths from an Asian earthquake had less of an impact on me than one death in North Carolina.

Reggie White was called the "Minister of Defense" in pro football for a couple of reasons. He was an outstanding player - and a minister of God as well. Yes, White said some controversial things. But merely talking about eternal issues around football players had to be controversial enough to them.

The words of praise from pro football announcers and writers were well-deserved. But how stunning it was to hear Reggie White died at only age 43 -- three years younger than I. Those years in the N.F.L. may have taken a toll. But the sack count and number of games missed due to injuries show White gave more of the pounding than he took.

Near my computer there's a box I bought months ago: "Will Workshop Deluxe 2004." I bought the software realizing I haven't updated my will in nearly ten years. Now the death of a football player has me wondering why I haven't opened that box - and let all sorts of other things, including writing this blog for you, get in the way.

Life is too short for all of us, whether you live 43 years or 86. We all should take time to put our priorities in order. It seems to me Reggie White did that - and far beyond a last will and testament. I sincerely hope you do, too.

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