24 DEC 04: WHAT WE MEANT TO SAY

A Columbus civil rights group called a news conference Thursday to "clarify" the boycott announced Monday by Jesse Jackson. The fact that the news conference was not held in downtown Phenix City should say something right there....

Pastor Wayne Baker of the Interdenominational Ministerial Alliance declared a financial boycott of Columbus is a "viable alternative" - but only if all else fails. After all, we saw how many Piggly Wiggly stores shut down when Rainbow/PUSH boycotted them a few years ago: exactly none.

At a Government Center news conference, Pastor Wayne Baker offered a list of six demands which must be met concerning the Kenneth Walker case. The only problem was the location. Isn't someone in a red suit taking lists of demands at Peachtree Mall?

Here's what the Interdenominational Ministerial Alliance wants to see happen in Year Two of the Kenneth Walker saga:

1. The convening of a second grand jury. This could be the reality show Black Entertainment Television has been waiting for.

2. A city personnel board denying former deputy David Glisson his job back. That's what we like to see - a city board which isn't influenced by money.

3. A "reasonable settlement" of the civil suit brought by Kenneth Walker's family. Huh?! You mean $100 million in damages is NOT reasonable?

(Someone said at work Thursday the 100-million dollar civil suit is too high, because "justice doesn't have a price tag." The family of Ron Goldman knows that too well - because O.J. Simpson hasn't paid that family one penny.)

4. A review of anti-racial profiling legislation, by local members of the Georgia Legislature. Now this could be a problem. How do you mark African-American History Month without doing profiles of people of that race?

5. Local law officers undergoing "cross-cultural training." I'm not sure the Nation of Islam will support any demand promoting the cross like this....

(To be fair, all of us probably could use some kind of cross-cultural training. After 20 years in Georgia, I couldn't cook collards if you forced me at gunpoint.)

6. The placing of the Sheriff's Department under Columbus Public Safety. Now there's a sure way to bring change -- as deputies get fed up with their pay and move on.

(But hold on a second: if the Sheriff's Department comes under Columbus Public Safety, would that make the Sheriff's office a city-appointed position? Civil rights groups might find Ralph Johnson in office for the rest of his life.)

Pastor Wayne Baker set no deadline for meeting his group's six demands. But he warned the "window of opportunity is very short." Translation: the next election will be here in about 19 months.

Several city officials were on hand for the I.M.A. news conference. Councilors Wayne Anthony and Julius Hunter agreed a second grand jury should be convened in the Kenneth Walker case. After all, if Georgia has a "two strikes" law for criminals, why not for prosecutors?

Mayor Bob Poydasheff also watched the news conference, and quickly told reporters he'd issued a new city memo against profiling. From now on, expect all police mug shots to be face-forward only - no "profile shots" to the side.

Mayor Bob Poydasheff opposes a possible economic boycott of Columbus. He says outsiders are NOT needed, to tell the city what to do. OK, so when is he giving back those federal Homeland Security grants?

The talk of a financial boycott has done strange things for some Columbus stocks. AFLAC and Synovus went up a bit, in the two days after Jesse Jackson's announcement. But after Thursday's clarification, AFLAC and T-SYS stock wound up lower! I get the feeling callers to radio talk shows are doing some bargain-hunting.

BLOG UPDATE: The number to beat today is five. St. Luke United Methodist Church downtown is holding no less than FIVE different Christmas Eve events. Step One in identifying a "mega-church" - how many services it takes to fit everybody in.

The busy St. Luke day starts with two communion services, the first one at 12:00 noon. My Pastor wondered aloud the other day why churches use the presumed day of Jesus's birth to hold communion - which the Bible says marks His death.

Then St. Luke holds a 5:00 p.m. "Christmas pageant." Which good-looking contestant is singing "Santa Baby" in the talent portion this year?

But wait, there's more! At 7:00 p.m., it's time for the St. Luke "Casual Christmas" service. I guess this is a fashion trade -- with gaudy bright-red ties left at home, but more bright-green sweaters showing up.

The biggest St. Luke Christmas Eve service is the one at 11:00 p.m. It's broadcast live on TV and radio, and beamed far and wide via satellite. Some people wouldn't mind if that signal overrode Al-Jazeera for awhile.

By the way, St. Luke United Methodist Church added something new to its Fitness Center Thursday. There's a posted set of conduct rules at the door, including NO profanity. But based on what I heard a few basketball players say while I was jogging, it was typical Methodism -- with plenty of overtolerance.

There's plenty of other stuff to think about from Thursday:

+ The price of regular unleaded gasoline dropped to $1.60 at Dolly Madison on Victory Drive. Let's all say it together: "I think
they can, I think they can...."

+ Blaine Stewart's "Restaurant Report Card" found a perfect score for a new Japanese steakhouse on Veterans Parkway called "Sumo-a-Go-Go." Please tell me this place does NOT have sumo-sized go-go dancers....

(Have you heard the radio commercial for Sumo-a-Go-Go? There's a voice with such a stereotypical Japanese accent that Jim Rhodes might call for the restaurant to be A-bombed.)

+ Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick signed a $130 million, ten-year contract extension. The "over and under" in Las Vegas is set at three season-ending injuries.

+ Instant Message to WGSY "Sunny 100-FM": A friend of mine said the other day he turned on your station twice in a one-hour period - and both times you were playing "The Little Drummer Boy." Is that the hottest-selling song at FYE this week?

2004 IN REVIEW CONTINUED: High gas prices slapped Columbus drivers in the wallet during May, as premium unleaded fuel went above two dollars a gallon. Looking back, I think it was a big conspiracy - because I didn't notice any restaurants closing their drive-through lanes.

May was a big month for Opelika, as native Brad Cotter won the "Nashville Star" country music competition. Yet for some odd reason, "Taco Star" on Macon Road didn't last the year.

Another prize-winner in May was Tim Vinson. The Jordan High School welding instructor was named Muscogee County "Teacher of the Year." We only hope he doesn't "light a fire" under his students in the wrong way....

May was a winning month in other ways. Columbus State's baseball team reached the Division II World Series. Columbus High's baseball team advanced to win a state title. And the number of people removed from the Civic Center for clapping their hands during commencement may have hit a record low.

May marked the end of Pittsview Elementary School, despite the complaints of local residents. So have the drugs and crime moved into town yet? Has Pittsview become - well, the pitts?

May was also the end of Muscogee County Schools' Reading Recovery program. Combine that with the lack of a central library during winter break, and all some children have is closed-captioning on a TV screen.

May marked the unofficial start of the local political season. The first hot race was for Superior Court Judge - which reminds me: has anyone offered Roxann Daniel a job lately?

Republicans from across Georgia had their state convention in Columbus during May - yet when November came, John Kerry had more votes in Muscogee County than George W. Bush. Maybe the G.O.P. should have tried to recruit voters other than Gray Conger.

But the effort by Rainbow/PUSH to recall Sheriff Ralph Johnson fell short in May - about 28,000 votes short, out of 30,000 required. And then Pastor J.H. Flakes says the majority in Columbus doesn't have a voice?! It does, and it's singing a happy tune....

While many talked about "One Columbus," Taylor County actually did something in May - by having one school-sponsored prom. We're pleasantly surprised to report there hasn't been a single march by a "Southern heritage" group there yet.

A Phenix City worker was fired in May, for stealing city library money. You don't think that worker used the money to buy brass knuckles, then moved to Lumpkin and went after THAT library?!

Then a legal surprise came from Birmingham, when former Governor Don Siegelman. By the time 2004 ended, Siegelman was clesred in court while former Chief Justice Roy Moore had lost. Those liberal judges even hide in Alabama, don't they?

BLOG-BLAH-BLAH: What would you rate our blog's #1 joke of 2004? Write us with a nomination, and we may count then down here next week....

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