21 DEC 04: SAFELY IN THE CORNER

Fort Benning issued a revised list of banned businesses Monday. Reporters peered over it not only for which names were there, but which names were not. It was a little bit like checking the list of speakers at an old Soviet Communist Party conference.

(It's tempting to say Fort Benning's list shows who's been naughty and who's been nice - but hold on. The generals are letting soldiers visit "adult nightclubs" again.)

Four businesses which were declared off-limits to Fort Benning soldiers during the summer now are OK again. The best-known name on the list is the Coach's Corner sports bar. So maybe the weirdos have been moved down the shopping center, to New Life Tanning....

Employees of Coach's Corner admit the Benning ban caused plenty of damage to their business. After all, ordinary customers felt an obligation to buy visiting soldiers a drink. They don't feel that way when Columbus State students walk in to watch games.

Fort Benning also lifted the restrictions on two Victory Drive lounges: Cellars and the Gold Lounge. As cold as it's been, the generals apparently decided soldiers needed a steamy place to go.

Cellars Lounge made the biggest public stink about the Fort Benning "hit list." The managers posted signs declaring they were NOT to blame for Columbus's drug problem. Apparently Benning finally decided the methamphetamines were brought in by Lee County customers.

A Fort Benning spokesman explained businesses which came off the off-limits list had made progress toward eliminating a drug problem. So I guess the Candlelight Motel is off the list, because the maids sprayed more powerful air freshener in every room.

Yet Fort Benning's new "hit list" also is noteworthy for the businesses still there. "Drive One" is mentioned, even though its building on Victory Drive has been vacant for weeks. Shouldn't Benning make a pre-emptive strike, and ban "Drive Two" as well?

The Fort Benning list still includes a Chinese restaurant near 8^th and Veterans Parkway - the one that turned into a burger stand in the spring, and has nothing in it now. You'd almost think Benning's generals are waiting for police to remove Chinese spy agency listening devices from the walls.

Another Chinese restaurant remains off-limits - but this case is even more confusing. Fort Benning's list calls it by the "Chopstick House," but the sign on Victory Drive has shown the name "China Inn Express" for months. This shows how confusing that closure of Interstate 185 was for people....

There's one noteworthy addition to Fort Benning's list - three life insurance companies. They're accused of offering soldiers what sounded like investment plans, but really were pricy insurance policies the soldiers didn't need. And if supplemental insurance from AFLAC wasn't available, what good were they?

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION about AFLAC wrapped up Monday - and an overwhelming 73 percent of blog voters say the company should have kept its old logo, instead of making a new one (8-3). So I guess we can say the new look is not "just ducky."

This is one matter that it seems people are talking about privately, but no one wants to mention publicly. But we must remember AFLAC has been a rather quirky place for years. Which reminds me -- did anyone move in to Elena Amos's parking garage rooftop house?

BLOG UPDATE: Civil rights activist Jesse Jackson called Monday for an economic boycott of Columbus, because of the shooting of Kenneth Walker. If S.O.A. Watch honors this boycott, countless local residents will consider it a dream come true.

This economic boycott will be interesting to watch. How many businesses on Buena Vista and St. Mary's Roads will go under, because their customers will drive to Phenix City to shop?

(But then again, how will the city of Columbus pay for that $100 million lawsuit filed by Kenneth Walker's family? With no sales tax revenue, the city could go bankrupt -- and Willie Gary could wind up City Manager.)

Jesse Jackson and the "Concerned Black Clergy" of Atlanta compared the shooting of Kenneth Walker to the beating of Rodney King by Los Angeles police in 1991. Now this seems a bit unfair! Absolutely no one in Columbus rioted, after David Glisson went unindicted.

Local Rainbow/PUSH leader William Howell told WXTX "News at Ten" a mid-January protest march in Columbus is designed in part to "bring about harmonious inclusion...." We think this means Atlanta activists will be included in the protest....

Now other quick items left outside to freeze in the Monday chill:

+ The morning low in Columbus was 21 degrees F. -- and WDAK's Chris Weber declared it was "too cold to frost." Obviously this man never has had to defrost a freezer in his kitchen.

+ The wife of former Auburn basketball coach Cliff Ellis revealed she's thinking about running for political office. How embarrassing could this be? If she can persuade more voters than her husband did basketball referees....

+ Instant Message to the man who told me he called SafetyCab for a free ride home, and the phone rang for nine minutes: Did you realize Columbus had that many drunks, needing help ahead of you?

2004 IN REVIEW CONTINUED: February was a difficult month in terms of employment. T-SYS laid off hundreds of workers. Public safety employees staged several public protests. And who knows how many of them bragged to friends about getting a nice new job at Char-Broil.

Perhaps the most newsworthy firing in February came when Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson fired Deputy David Glisson. Ten months later, some civil rights leaders still aren't satisfied - because we still haven't seen Glisson's full face on camera, with no sunglasses on.

But February was a big month in terms of entertainment. The Junior League staged a "Follies" show. "Barney" the dinosaur appeared at the Civic Center. And "Cats" was presented at the RiverCenter - somehow without celebrity veterinarian Hank Hall in a cameo role.

In sports, the Atlanta Hawks traded for Rasheed Wallace -- then traded him again after one game to Detroit. Wallace wound up winning an N.B.A. title, while the Hawks kept changing players like a guy in a fantasy league.

The Columbus baseball team changed its name in February, from the Waves to the Catfish. The team mascot became a character named "Hook" - but it's minor league baseball, so he has yet to become Captain Hook.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.