25 DEC 04: GOTTA SING
Maybe this makes me look like a holiday hypocrite, but I'm in a musical mood this weekend. We begin with a song for Pastor Wayne Baker and fellow civil rights leaders - based on that holiday tune about "two front teeth":
All we want for Christmas is a second chance.
A grand jury getting more than a glance.
All we want for Christmas is a second chance,
To put in jail that David Glisson!
Next: What if you're like me, not celebrating Christmas - yet you have children at home? Maybe we can change that silly song about wanting a hippopotamus, to this:
I hope that there's a McDonald's on vacation!
I want to eat there every single day!
I want a Happy Meal - it's such a groovy deal,
With all the toys I'll get to take away!
My mom and dad will want some relaxation,
But all the sights are waiting for my eyes!
And if there's Mickey-D's, I'll be so good to please.
It's one vacation I can Super-Size!
Now we go back to 1996 - and a song I submitted to national sports-talk host Papa Joe Chevalier, which won me a T-shirt. Think Nat King Cole for the theme (words adjusted slightly for 2004):
Matchups studied by an open fire,
Face masks covering your nose.
Coaching rumors going out on the wires
By fans who think they're in the know.
Everybody knows some football at this time of year
Helps to make the season bright.
Tiny tots dreaming of scholarships
Will get to bed quite late tonight.
They know the bowls are on their way -
The Rose, the Sugar, Orange, and the Holiday.
And every mother's child is gonna spy,
To see how fast punt returners can fly.
And so I'm offering a simple phrase
To sports fans one to 92:
So what if your team didn't cover the spread?
Happy bowl season to you!
COMING SUNDAY: Was all of Columbus closed for Christmas? Not quite....
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