13 DEC 04: LIFT AND SEPARATE

I guess I should take my Official Blog Camera everywhere I go - because I could have used it the other afternoon at a Walgreen's store. But of course, if I DID carry it everywhere I go, some store would detain me and claim I'm spying for the competition.

I approached the check-out at the Walgreen's store and heard the security alarm sound. I looked up so see a man hurrying out the door. We don't know what he took. But if you receive a holiday gift from this guy, remember -- it's the lack of thought that also counts.

"He was asking about gum," the woman behind the checkstand at Walgreen's told me later. "I told him it was 30, 35 cents now. He said, '35 cents!' And then he left." If this shoplifter is caught, he might attempt the Wrigley's Spearmint defense.

The woman came out from behind the checkstand when the security alarm sounded. "I'll wait. Go get him," I said to the woman. After she froze for a moment, she approached the entrance. Perhaps she thought I was part of a plot - but Walgreen's coupons are too good to waste like this.

As the woman stood in the entryway, two men rushed forward from other parts of the store and went outside. Walgreen's apparently has a plan for shoplifters like this - so imagine what will happen if you're the one-millionth customer at a store.

"I saw him for a second, but then he bolted," one of the pursuing employees said inside the store about a minute later. The shoplifter was faster than the Walgreen's staff. As someone who's searched high and low for help in finding items at a Walgreen's store, I guess this should have been no surprise.

With the shoplifter making a clean getaway, I proceeded to make the checkout woman's day. "I'll pay for my things...."

Since this is the busiest shopping season of the year, I suppose this is also the busiest time of year for shoplifters as well. So remember: if you see someone entering a store wearing a large pair of overalls, it may be for more than fashion - it could be for easily dividing stolen items into categories.

BLOG UPDATE: "Have I got great news for you!" were the first words from the "technical expert" at the computer shop Friday afternoon. I didn't quite know what to think of this statement. After nearly two weeks of repair letdowns, he might have gone online with my machine and won a lottery jackpot.

When last we left the saga of my ailing computer [9 Dec], the computer expert reported I needed to upgrade my Windows system. This would make my system compatible with my new CD tray, so I could run the "Restore CD" and regain full Internet access. So he added "Windows 98 Second Edition" - moving me within about five years of a new computer.

When I called the computer shop Thursday afternoon for a progress report on the Windows upgrade, the technical expert said, "It is done." Mistake #1: I didn't ask WHAT was done. Sometimes journalists shouldn't stop being journalists....

I drove to the computer shop with hope in my heart - but the owner stopped me cold. "Did you bring your AT&T disc?" No, I hadn't. He'd told me Thursday morning he'd need it to get on the Internet, after the Windows upgrade. As if a computer repair shop doesn't have its own Internet provider?!

Mistake #2: I drove home to find my AT&T Internet start-up disc, then hurried back to the computer shop. That was a mistake because the shop owner turned on my machine, and discovered the Internet access with an AT&T icon had been there all along. This will teach that company to sell out to Cingular....

So the Internet dial-up was fine, but my browsers still wouldn't call up any web pages - and when the computer shop owner put in the "Restore CD," the computer refused to accept it! I paced around the store in frustration, feeling a bit like Tommy Tuberville reading the B.C.S. standings.

Then the technical expert came out and told me in a stern voice, "You need to stop changing the settings!" Well, hold on - wasn't this the same man who told me days before I needed to change the computer settings, so CD-ROM would be the first option for booting my machine?! So many people in this city simply aren't used to their orders being followed.

The computer shop decided to take a closer look at my machine Friday - and that led to Friday afternoon's greeting from the technical expert. So what was his great news? "We need to start clean, with a new hard drive." Great news for his bank account, I suppose....

I was coming to the conclusion that a new hard drive was the only solution to this problem - so the technical expert's "great news" was no surprise. But thankfully, I made sure my new CD tray was capable of writing as well as playing. Thank you GPB, for inspiring my weekend activity by playing "Burn Baby Burn - Disco Inferno."

The computer shop staff allowed me to take my machine home for the weekend, to save all the material I could to CD. In a way, it's a bit like taking an ailing relative home from the hospital when there's nothing more doctors can do. Only in this case, you can't really file a malpractice suit....

So I spent most of the weekend saving five-and-a-half years of items from my computer onto CD-RW discs. The most essential stuff fit on three of them - and an Office Depot pack left me with seven leftover discs, for holding maybe a month's worth of spam.

Sunday marked two weeks since I was able to call up web pages at home. Today the computer goes to the shop for a FOURTH time, in the hopes a new hard drive will solve the problem once and for all. If it doesn't - well, there's always a telephone and toll-free numbers.

With the main Columbus library in transition, how does a blogger like me check e-mail on a weekend? On a hunch, I found a great alternative Sunday afternoon. Chattahoochee Valley Community College's library has Internet computers, open to all comers. And in the true tradition of liberal education - uhhhhh - no web filters to block porn.

If I can post a blog entry for Tuesday, you'll know my computer problems are solved. If I can't, you might be able to find my machine somewhere at the bottom of Lake Oliver.

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