29 DEC 04: HEARD -- THE RUMORS

Tuesday's Ledger-Enquirer was first to report on a big consumer complaint settlement, involving Bill Heard Chevrolet. The auto chain has to pay about $188,000 - which will be recovered in about four SUV's.

The Georgia Office of Consumer Affairs concluded Bill Heard dealerships in metro Atlanta deceived customers in four distinct ways. Before you get ahead of me -- no, you scoffers, the four deceptions were not inside each door of a car.

The state Consumer Affairs office cited Bill Heard for advertising all customers were "pre-approved" for loans, when they're really not. Perhaps the car dealer means bankrupt people will at least be given bus fare for a ride home.

Bill Heard also was accused of promising cars on sale that really weren't on the lot. This complaint seems a bit unfair. If he's "Mr. Big Volume," do you really expect him to hold a Chevy in the showroom until everyone in Atlanta has stopped by to check it?

A third complaint against Bill Heard was that it offered "repossessed" cars which never were repossessed at all. While we're at it, let's check "Repo Joe" at Carl Gregory Dodge - starting with whether Joe is his real first name.

The last gripe by the Georgia Office of Consumer Affairs was that Bill Heard promised "limited warranties" on cars, but failed to deliver. I wonder if this meant the city limits....

We should note the Bill Heard dealerships in Columbus are NOT part of this settlement - several Atlanta dealerships are. As we've all come to know this year, the place to file complaints about Columbus businesses is not Atlanta. It's the commanding general's office at Fort Benning.

For now, it appears Bill Heard's name will stay on the main theater at the RiverCenter. When a modern country singer performs in concert there, the nickname "Mr. Big Volume" finally makes sense.

So next time you see the manager of Bill Heard Cadillac say on TV, "Mark 'em all down" - remember one thing. In Atlanta, their reputation already WAS....

BLOG UPDATE: The Russell County Commission voted 4-3 Tuesday to fire county attorney Billy Benton. Imagine what might have happened, if commissioners had voted on firing the Probate Judge....

The plot thickened Tuesday in the dispute over Russell County commissioners filing security bonds. Circuit Court Judge Al Johnson showed up, and declared Probate Judge Al Howard has no authority over those bonds. Judge Howard may have just clinched his second Burkard Award in a row, for "man who wants most to become king."

Judge Al Johnson said Judge Al Howard should simply have passed on the paperwork about security bonds for commissioners. Instead the Probate Judge ruled the papers invalid, declared commissioners disqualified from office - and he stopped just short of calling in the National Guard.

Judge Al Howard explained he turned down forms for commissioner security bonds in November because they were incorrect. He says they were supposed to be for four years, but the paperwork specified one year -- perhaps expecting the judge's recall petition drive against the new commission.

But Judge Al Johnson told the Russell County Commission he's the only one who has authority over security bonds. For one thing, the Circuit Court Judge's office probably has a bigger budget for liquid paper to correct mistakes....

(So we have Judge Al versus Judge Al - and in AL-abama, no less! Surely these men must have the same distant relatives somewhere....)

Perhaps the happiest person in the commission room Tuesday was Russell County Administrator LeeAnn Horne-Jordan. She said the security bond flap was the latest example of Probate Judge Al Howard harassing her. But it could be worse - Judge Howard could name Tillman Pugh as his new court clerk.

Quickly now to finish things up:

+ The Columbus State men's basketball team continued its "bonanza" at the Lumpkin Center, by beating Benedict. What's this team's nickname - the Arnolds or the Eggs?

+ A Huntsville, Alabama City Councilman reported he escaped death, when that killer tsunami struck Thailand. We're thankful to know he's alive - but doesn't it seem strange that an elected official from Alabama is on vacation in Thailand?! Is there NO place open yet on the Gulf coast?

+ Instant Message to all East Alabama fireworks stands: Why do you have ads on billboards all over Columbus - especially since it's illegal to shoot fireworks in Georgia without a permit? Do you WANT people to spend this weekend in jail?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We ran out of time Tuesday night, so our review of 2004 will resume Thursday....)

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