BURKARD'S BLOG

I searched on the Internet, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. (Well, other than a 15-year-old high school student, and who knows how much he pays attention to the news?) So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for some six years, as well as my experiences in it.

But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.

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24 JUN 03: LONG LINE SILVER'S?

A new KFC-Long John Silver's restaurant opened today on South Lumpkin Road. Residents of Columbus could guess right away what that means - you won't be able to park anywhere near it for six weeks.

Many new big-name restaurants on the north side of Columbus have drawn big crowds, so I wanted to see what a new Long John Silver's on the south side would do. Amazingly, I was able to park near the door during lunch hour -- and without any special police help.

Long John Silver's seafood shops were in Columbus years ago. Now they're back after about a ten-year absence, only they're mixed in the same building with a KFC. No wonder the staff received days of training - because frozen chicken strips and fish pieces can look SO much alike.

(So if Kentucky Fried Chicken is KFC, why isn't Long John Silver's LJS? Is this done so customers won't get confused, and think it's run by Mormons?)

The menu is split inside this mixed restaurant - KFC on the left, Long John Silver's on the right. In fact, the LJS side includes "chicken planks." If some employee mixes them with the "Colonel's Strips," a long-secret recipe finally might come out.

I looked around inside the new restaurant for a couple of minutes, then stepped out to run another errand. "Line too long for you?" asked an employee at the door. Well no, it really wasn't. But I thought at a big restaurant opening in Columbus, you merely had to be SEEN -- not necessarily buy anything.

There's a unique touch outside the KFC-LJS building on South Lumpkin Road: a sixties-style round clock on the wall, with "YUM!" in neon lights. It almost looks like they bought it from one of those antique gift shops down the street - or maybe from the Goodwill store for three bucks.

There was a quite a line in the drive-through lane at the new KFC-LJS. I forgot to check the cars - to see if they were Harris County license plates, and the drivers are too embarrassed to park on South Lumpkin Road.

The new restaurant on South Lumpkin Road reflects a trend in other U.S. cities, with several fast-food names located under one roof. I first saw this in New York years ago - and wondered when Arby's and Dunkin Donuts would come out with a combined roast beef muffin.

If you look carefully, you still can find traces of old Long John Silver's restaurants around Columbus. The shape of one of them is on Veterans Parkway, just south of Manchester Expressway. I believe it's now a realty office - but I doubt there's a drive-through mortgage lane.

For the time being, the south side of Columbus can boast of having a big-name restaurant the north side doesn't have. Long John Silver's becomes a second big selling point - besides the fact that buzz cuts are cheaper near Fort Benning.

Speaking of dining: the name "Houlihan's" was painted on the wall outside the downtown Wyndham hotel the other day. It should open later this summer on Broadway - unless we find out the Fellini family married into the Houlihan family, and they object to that name as well.

BLOG UPDATE:Congratulations to Rod Bramblett, the newly-named voice of Auburn University football and basketball. After all those years in the studio doing pre and post-game shows, he'll finally get to see the Tigers in person.

Congratulations also to Columbus Police, for catching a suspect in last Friday's bicycle bank robbery. If that man is guilty, he should get at least ten years -- attached to a bike rack outside a grade school.

BIG PREDICTION: I'm asking for it after correctly picking Miss Universe (4 Jun) - but I'm drawn for some reason to "Miss Albany" Kellye Bradshaw to win this week's Miss Georgia pageant. Now to find the right cologne, so she'll be drawn to ME.