BURKARD'S BLOG
I searched on the Internet, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. (Well, other than a 15-year-old high school student, and who knows how much he pays attention to the news?) So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for some six years, as well as my experiences in it.
But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
15 JUN 03: DADDY? OH.
We had a big Father's Day cake at church this weekend - but an Elder's wife took it home, one-third uneaten. I certainly wasn't going to take the first piece. It would have started rumors about my years of sin.
At church this weekend I wished two dads a happy Father's Day. One replied, "The same to you - WEEKEND, that is." It was the closest anyone's come in years to showing sympathy on me, for being single.
The older I get, the more awkward Father's Day becomes for me. I'm approaching age 45, and still not married. I'm not a father, either -- and you have to specify BOTH those things these days, so people don't get wrong ideas.
Father's Day becomes especially awkward when offers reach my mailbox with great discounts on men's clothing and gadgets. "Great Father's Day Gifts!" they say. So if I take advantage of these specials, does that make me a greedy, selfish jerk?
From what I see on TV talk shows, it's really not that hard to become a father. The tough part comes in denying it for years, until the paternity test results are announced.
My own Dad died a couple of years ago - and I don't think he ever really understood how serious I was about living my faith. Several years ago during a phone call, he actually encouraged me to "shack up" (my phrase, not his) with a woman. Of course, this was several years before the second wife HE did that with left him for another man....
I suppose I could do what Rosie O'Donnell and Calista Flockhart have done, and adopt a child. But I'm old-fashioned enough to think children should grow up with TWO parents at home. It increases the chances that one of them might actually set a good example.
The church I attend doesn't really encourage adoption - and the way it interprets the Bible, I shouldn't date anyone "outside the church." Given the small numbers in my congregation and the duties I have to do each week for the service, I'm left with our big church conference each fall to find someone. My "hunting season" is shorter than Georgia has for alligators.
But enough about my troubles - let's check other brief things from the weekend:
+ Callaway Gardens held its annual "Fly Fishing Weekend." Does this mean people go fishing for mosquitos? Or is there an award for the best-dressed fisherman - the one who's the most "fly?"
+ The Columbus Wardogs fell to Tennessee Valley, for their eighth loss in a row. If this keeps up, the only games you'll see in town with Coach John Fourcade will be at the AR-cade.
+ A car in a South Lumpkin Road parking lot had this sticker on the rear window: "I do what my Rice Crispies tell me to." I hope I'm not near this driver, on a day he's told to SNAP.