BURKARD'S BLOG

6 JUN 03: A CLEAN SWEEPS?

There's the Publishers' Clearing House sweepstakes - and then there's the "Publisher's Sweepstakes." The latter one is different. It called me at home Thursday evening for the second time, congratulating me for being a finalist at TWO different levels. I didn't claim a third level, though - because I didn't buy any magazines over the phone.

The Publisher's Sweepstakes promises to give away $1 million in late October. And somehow, the woman on the line said I could have a 40-percent magazine discount because I'd "used them before." Well, no - unless you define "using them" as talking to the last telemarketer.

Not only am I a finalist for $1 million, but the Publisher's Sweepstakes determined I was eligible for a "diamond watch" - AND four years of three different magazines, all at no charge. BUT I couldn't get the watch and the free subscriptions unless I subscribed to a weekly magazine. Considering two of my freebies were Car Craft and Esquire, this was only a good deal for the Postal Service.

The woman with the sweepstakes read a list of weekly magazines, and asked which one interested me. "And I have to PAY for this one?" I asked. "Well, allow me to explain...." she said - then asked if I had any hobbies or interests. Why do these callers expect direct answers from me, but they won't give any in return.

The weekly magazine subscriptions, the telemarketer explained, was "the only one we ask for assistance on." Assistance?!
Remember when this used to be called a payment?

At least this call from the Publisher's Sweepstakes ended peaceably. The first time this contest called, I had to ask twice to
confirm it was NOT the Publishers' Clearing House -- and I apparently asked so many questions, the man who called hung up on me! [True!] Will he be surprised when he never hears his voice on "Crank Yankers."