BURKARD'S BLOG

I searched on the Internet, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. (Well, other than a 15-year-old high school student, and who knows how much he pays attention to the news?) So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for almost six years, as well as my experiences in it.

But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own -- no one has paid me to present theirs. Not yet.

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3 JUN 03: GETTING THE MESSAGE

The rain came with a rush about 7:09 a.m. today. I heard the rush, woke up and closed my bedroom window - moments before the thunder came with a rush, and made me wish the window frame was wood instead of metal.

I'm struggling a bit to getting back to regular nightly sleep. A new 6:00 a.m. Producer is finally hired, and this week began putting the newscast together without my help. But when she described Monday morning with the words, "Slow descent into Hell," I was a touch concerned.

I kept the answering machine turned off Sunday night-Monday morning, in case the new Producer called with questions. But no call came - which I suppose is a good sign, since it meant she was praying to Someone better for help.

I've been getting other calls this week, though - and they're quite annoying. I pick up the phone after one ring, and after a long pause there's a ring and a recorded message as if I'M calling somebody. Is this BellSouth's strange way of getting "Caller I-D" customers?

The ring and recorded message also show up on my answering machine while I'm gone. Monday night I came home to find FIVE of them. It's almost as if someone thinks I invented the "TeleZapper."

(Maybe the calls are from an automatic ringer at a telemarketing firm. But I've asked before and I'll ask again - if their offers are SO good, why doesn't the person in the boiler room ever leave a message with a return phone number?)

Meanwhile, an off day went well - as I jumped on a one-week Wal-Mart special to buy a pair of athletic shoes for only TEN dollars. If this was a Payless special, the "over and under" for the shoes wearing out would be six months.

It turned out I bought two pairs of shoes - the athletic pair with the name "Jerry" on the box, and a pair of dress shoes named "Scott." I should have checked to see if Wal-Mart has cowboy boots named "Billy Bob."

I bought these shoes at the Wal-Mart SuperCenter which still hasn't found my roll of film. (24 Apr) I didn't bother asking about it at the photo counter today, because it had a line of customers during the noon hour. From the looks of this, it may be time to check Lee County landfills.

(Wal-Mart SuperCenters still feel very strange. I've never before held two full shoeboxes in my hands, then placing a bag of tortilla chips on top.)

BIG PREDICTION: On the issue I know is gripping so many readers of this blog - I pick Miss Dominican Republic to win tonight's Miss Universe pageant. No, you may NOT ask why. You also may NOT ask how I ranked the top five....