25 APR 08: AFTER-HOURS TRADING
Play poker for awhile, and you learn the importance of the "poker face." When nice cards come up for you, don't do anything to give that fact away. That tends to come easily for me - which may explain my success at poker, but my lack of success in romance.
BLOGGER BEGGAR #7 presented me with that challenge late Thursday night. I wound up spending four hours at Lil Kim's Cove on poker night, earning the second-place prize. It was only a one-block walk home - but I couldn't even get to the corner. "Sir," said a young man approaching behind me.
"What?!" I said in a frustrated whisper.
"How you doing, sir?" At 12:15 a.m., it seemed safe to presume this man was NOT engaged in business networking.
"It's after midnight. What do you want?" I said to cut to the chase. The hour was late, a blog entry still had to be written - and two beggars in three nights on the same street made me wonder if Circle K stores were becoming satellites for the House of Mercy.
"I'll admit it, sir. I'm hungry and I'm homeless."
"Come on," I said as I pointed the man toward my apartment.
"Can I come in?" After what a neighbor told me about Tuesday night's beggar, I knew better than to allow that. If all else failed, some Motel 6 rooms now have nice hardwood floors.
"No. I'm going by the first thing you said. You're hungry, so I'll feed you." If local food pantries wonder why there's no donation at my mailbox on Mother's Day weekend, it's because someone beat the letter carriers to it.
As I walked toward home, the beggar stopped at the First Avenue corner. I had to motion him forward to join me -- as if neighbors had chased him away once as well. But at 12:15 a.m., the Welcome Wagon was asleep for the night.
"Do you live by yourself?" the man asked as he reached my front porch. It was time for another game of Hold 'em Poker - and this possible criminal had lost quickly, by asking for too much information.
"What difference does that make?" I said as I motioned him to sit in a chair on the front porch. It was admittedly an uncomfortable chair -- an office chair I was given from a workplace a few years ago, which has deteriorated badly. If the city would grant another waiver from landfill fees, I could take care of it once and for all.
"Why do you need to know that?" I asked the man again - and he didn't give an answer, quietly sitting in the chair. A possible criminal might want to know, so he could plan a break-in. And 12:15 a.m. is a lousy time to begin negotiating terms for taking in a roommate.
You'll recall I heated a microwave meal for the beggar earlier this week. But at this late hour, I felt compelled to move even faster. So locking the front door behind me, I reached into the pantry for a small aluminum can. I opened it, put a toothpick in the middle of it and took it to the porch.
"Vienna sausages," I said to the beggar - after he puzzled over the can a moment, as if I might be a second coming of Jeffrey Dahmer.
"There you are, sir" - and the beggar walked off the porch, quickly ending the transaction. If he really wanted a room for the night, he'd have to go back to Lil Kim's Cove and negotiate with the cash-game poker players. Except he probably didn't have the money to buy a seat at the table, much less bet.
This marked the first time a beggar had stopped me on the short walk home from poker night. Yet I guess it was inevitable. We've noted here often how beggars tend to frequent Fourth Street, near the Civic Center. It's enough to make you wonder why Fourth Street Baptist Church doesn't turn its day care center into an all-night shelter.
Yet other parts of Columbus which used to be beggar hotbeds are not anymore. I noticed that recently at 14th and Veterans Parkway. A Circle K station there posted signs against loitering - and all the potential beggars standing around after dark disappeared. Thursday night, of course, they were replaced by low-income people seeking a two-hour gas discount.
I know some Columbus police officers read this blog from time to time, and today I appeal to them. It's time for more patrols in the blocks around the Civic Center, to keep the "tramps" (to borrow from city code) away. Their begging might keep people away from the skate park currently under construction. But then, the skateboarders could outrace them - and even use their boards as defensive weapons.
As for poker night: second place marked my fifth finish "in the money" since we started playing at Lil Kim's Cove on Thursday nights last summer. I've been keeping track, and I've reached the final table 45 percent of the time. If only my math was that good, in figuring out my chances with two pair.
I'm finding drama classes in college are coming in handy - as I'm able to keep my mouth shut, and not give away too much at the poker table. Sad to say, the giveaways are waiting for me right outside the door....
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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 632 (+ 11, 1.8%)
TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 54: Running, 2.7 miles; walking, 0.4 miles. Total: 166.6 miles run, 18.5 walked
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