11 APR 08: CHECKED OUT OF THE PLAY
The Columbus Cottonmouths will have an "end of season meet and greet" with fans tonight. That's what makes the hockey team different from plenty of other sports teams around here. The only way fans can meet most of last year's league champion Columbus Catfish right now is to drive to a higher-class team in Vero Beach, Florida.
If the Cottonmouths had won the fifth game of their playoff series with Knoxville Tuesday night, they'd still have some home games left - and the Columbus Civic Center might not have a mess on its hands. The arena plans to shut down the ice rink for indoor football, before the youth hockey season is finished. I knew they were doing away with "frozen pucks" along the boards, but freezing the schedule?!
The Columbus Hockey Association holds youth league and adult pickup games at the Civic Center. It's all set for the final round of playoffs, but the ice rink is being turned off. So suddenly the hockey season is a bit like the Democratic Presidential race....
The Columbus Hockey Association's web site indicates parents and fans have fired e-mails of complaint to the Civic Center management, and even the City Manager. On the ice surface, you can't really blame them for being upset. For one thing, the last killing frost in Columbus still is about ten days away.
But the Civic Center may not be completely to blame for this problem. One Columbus Hockey Association leader hinted Thursday they might not have told the management that playoff days in April were needed. As if local teams aren't making the playoffs in almost everything these days....
Another hidden factor in all this could be the state of the Civic Center's ice-making machinery. A pump broke down last Saturday night, which put Sunday's Cottonmouths playoff game in question for a while. There could have been standing water in the rink - which vendors still might have tried to sell for $2.50 a bottle.
The hockey association's web site indicates the Civic Center staff is trying to work out to resolve this lack of a playoff round. Several ideas come to my mind, which I've yet to hear anyone explain....
+ The Cottonmouths must have reserved the arena for at least one final-round playoff game. Why not let the children skate on that date? Simply tell them if they make too hard a hit along the boards, they have to pay for the new pane of glass.
+ The rink will be needed two weeks from now, for the "Disney on Ice" show. Why not have the playoffs around that time? Or will Tinkerbell's wand-waving influence the outcome?
+ How about holding this spring's playoffs next October, before the new season begins. It might almost match the two-week hype given to the Super Bowl.
+ If all else fails, why not take the playoff round outside? Put it in the parking lot, with players on roller skates - a bit like Columbus Lions football in reverse.
If Columbus had a separate ice rink, we wouldn't be discussing this topic. The last one-percent sales tax vote was supposed to provide money for that rink. But City Manager Isaiah Hugley admitted Thursday while the city has two million dollars for that rink, it needs three million more. And right now, Mayor Wetherington is more concerned about a new "cooler" for criminals.
I heard one man complain Thursday that Columbus shouldn't be using tax money on ice rinks at all. He said if it's really needed, an entrepreneur ought to be found to provide the money for one. Too bad Aflac is busy sponsoring NASCAR winners in Texas....
So unless a compromise can be worked out, the youth hockey season in Columbus will end with no playoffs at all. But parents can comfort their disappointed children with a bit of recent history. Only three years ago, the National Hockey League owners staged a lockout - and there wasn't a season at all.
E-MAIL UPDATE: Uh-oh -- the sightings in the sky may be only beginning....
Hello,
The same black helicopter flies over neighborhoods in North Phenix City (across the river from Green Island). We have seen it for the past two years (at least once a week), last sighting about two days ago in the Lakewood area. We figured it's some local developer looking for remaining patches of wooded land to buy and build even more tacky subdivisions.
These houses with inflated price tags will come with a large gabled roof, a big kitchen with granite countertops, wood floors throughout, a couple of garden tubs, a master suite, two or three additional cell-sized bedrooms, and a postage stamp sized backyard, bordered by a concrete/brick facade block wall holding back a massive wall of dirt. After a few months, portable plastic basketball goals will start appearing on the curb next to the driveways, because the kids don't have a decent backyard to play in or a big tree to climb!
Well, so goes my helicopter theory.
Cathy Weaver
(An accomplished leaf blower/raker due to the two big oaks in our front yard)
Now calm down here a minute, Ms. Weaver. Why are you so obviously biased in favor of Formica counters?
I was blessed to grow up in a home with a large amount of - well, my family used to call it a yard. Nowadays in Columbus, the politicians prefer to call it greenspace....
(But it's amazing how that childhood blessing can become a teenage curse - when Mom and Dad expect you to mow the lawn all summer.)
We'll watch for more "chopper chat" to come our way. Now let's land on other Thursday headlines, which also begin in the sky....
+ Fort Benning held its annual "Airborne Awards" ceremony, complete with paratroopers landing on the grounds. It's too bad telegraph service has gone out of style - because we wanted to receive some jumper cables.
+ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution updated its list of Georgia state legislators missing the most votes. Rep. Calvin Smyre was on the worst ten list in March, but finished the session in 39th place. Talk about setting a bad example for local athletes....
+ The LaGrange Daily News reported a woman gave a cab driver a counterfeit $50 bill, and asked for change. Trouble was, the unwitting driver only had $12 in change on him. This is what we call in business a "lose-lose" situation.
+ Atlanta's baseball game with Colorado was postponed, due to a snowstorm in Denver. It's easy to understand why they couldn't play. Too many fans would throw snowballs onto the field, and every batter would strike out.
+ Instant Message to Payless Shoes on Victory Drive: About your sign outside - I know BOGO stands for "Buy One, Get One." But what's this thing on the other side called a BGOO Sale? Does this stand for something like "Boys and Girls, One Only?"
SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: What might be the most unusual local wedding of the decade....
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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 652 (+ 19, 3.0%)
TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 40: Racquetball workout, 66 minutes. Total: 135.3 miles run, 14.5 walked
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