15 APR 08: BIG HOUSE, BIG BILLS
Someone complained to us a few days ago that the city of Columbus spent $25,000 for a machine, to treat the wounded Doctors Hospital shooting suspect. But maybe we should look on the bright side. If Charles Johnston is convicted and sent away to prison, you might be able to buy it dirt-cheap at a police auction.
As it happens, today's Columbus Council agenda includes a section with a provocative title: "15 Most Expensive Patients in 2007." It's the sort of list you might expect a quack doctor to keep....
These 15 most expensive patients are NOT ordinary citizens. They're all apparently Muscogee County Jail inmates, as the cost reflects medical expenses billed to the jail's clinic. You knew the criminal mind was sick -- but how about $815,000 sick for 15 of them?
The city of Columbus has a contract with The Medical Center for handling jail inmates. That's why the Doctors Hospital shooting was so ironic. Charles Johnston may not have known about the hospital merger -- or else he might have demanded treatment at the St. Francis Hospital emergency room instead.
The Charles Johnston case isn't included in this Top 15 list, as it only covers patients treated last calendar year. And I'm sorry to tell you we do NOT have the inmates' names -- only their initials. Someone worth so much money obviously deserves some privacy....
The winner of the "most expensive patient" contest last year was R.G. He ran up a $280,000 tab for a gunshot to the chest. But if he wound up in jail, one big statistic is missing from the report. Did he run up a bill for another family? Hopefully not for funeral expenses?
The city's cost of R.G.'s treatment at the jail clinic wound up being $62,300, instead of $280,000. The city agenda explains this was due in part to "negotiations in fee reduction...." Either lower this inmate's bill, or we'll bring in three or four angrier ones....
Medicare reductions apparently allow the city to save money on jail health problems as well. The Top 15 list includes a D.T., who had a $53,000 bill for pneumonia - but the Jail Clinic didn't pay one penny of that. It's a good thing I didn't take my pneumonia problem last spring to those doctors. It could have been a lot more expensive.
The 15 Most Expensive Patients at the Jail Clinic show a wide range of health problems. R.R. had more than $27,000 in treatment for severe "alcohol withdrawal." It's hard to go cold turkey after you drink too many Wild Turkeys....
The report to Columbus Council shows Muscogee County jail inmates needed more than 36,000 different health treatments last year. The highest number involved diabetes - but there were also nearly 4,500 psychiatric calls. The document does NOT reveal how many inmates were nutty enough to admit they committed a crime.
BLOG SPECIAL EVENT: Speaking of big lists, your blogger cracked the Top 25 in the WalkGeorgia campaign Monday night. Out of 181 participants in the eight-week Muscogee County exercise drive, I'm at number 22 - and feeling just about ready to take on Georgia in a bowl game.
The WalkGeorgia computations show I've gained more than 303 "walking" miles in exercise, over 44 days. Admittedly, not all of that is from walking. More than seven miles went on my count Monday night, due to spring cleaning in the kitchen. Crouching down to shake a can and spray oven cleaner takes a little work, you know....
Yet our Blog of Columbus team remains in the middle of the Muscogee County pack. We're in 12th place, with 12 days left to count. A team which seems to be connected with Columbus Consolidated Government is in last place - so filing paperwork must not be as sweat-filled as some city workers lead you to believe.
We'll keep you posted, as the finish line draws near - and now let's race through some Monday news stories:
+ The high temperature in Columbus was only 54 degrees F. -- thanks to murky clouds, gusty winds and a touch of rain. It reminded me a bit of London. Except the pigeons in Columbus are smart enough to stay in a warm hideaway, and not fly all over the center of town.
+ The Muscogee County School Board considered a proposal to increase lunch prices. A high school lunch would go up to three dollars next term - making that one-dollar menu at McDonald's look more appealing than ever.
+ A new memorial to Korean War veterans was unveiled along the North Bypass in Phenix City. But it's so close to the bypass that the official ceremony was held at a Columbus American Legion post. Those vets simply can't scramble over the guardrails like they did 50 years ago....
+ Delta and Northwest Airlines ended months of speculation, by announcing they will merge. This big deal already has some critics - but if it motivates Southwest to buy ASA and bring better service in Columbus, I'm all for it.
+ Former Georgia running back Herschel Walker told ABC News he battled what some call "multiple personality disorder" for decades. If only they'd had radios in the helmets back in the 1980s. He could have heard Larry Munson scream, "Oh, you Herschel Walker!" over and over, and known who he really was.
(ABC's Nightline reported at one point, a minister suggested Herschel Walker undergo an exorcism. Don't give those Auburn fans any ideas - because they might show up for next fall's Georgia game with containers of incense.)
+ Instant Message to Hardee's: Ohhhh. NOW you tell me. Now I learn "guys don't bake." That finally explains why church groups won't eat my brownies.
SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: E-mail about that work on Wynnton Road....
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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 603 (+ 22, 3.8%)
TRUDGE REPORT, DAY 44: Spring cleaning, two hours. Total: 157.3 miles run, 15.4 walked
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.
© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.