3 APR 08: EVERYWHERE AN OINK, OINK

This year's "Pig Book" came out Wednesday. But some liberals were disappointed when they looked through it - because it didn't contain any pictures of police officers.

The Pig Book is published each year by Citizens Against Government Waste. The nonpartisan group lists every federal government project that it considers "pork-barrel spending." Yes, Columbus has some - which only makes sense for a city which loves barbecued pork so much.

The Pig Book lists six pieces of pork in Columbus, and two more at Fort Benning -- projects funded this fiscal year with about ten million dollars in federal spending. And you wondered where the Washington politicians got the idea for stimulus checks....

Citizens Against Government Waste declared part of the upcoming National Infantry Museum pork. It cites six million dollars for the "Soldier Center at Patriot Park" - and there are probably few things in life which stink more than park pork.

(This report didn't count a million-dollar donation the National Infantry Museum received a couple of years ago from South Korea's government. Perhaps that's in a separate publication called "The Dog Book.")

The report reminded me of a couple of years ago, when the National Infantry Museum tried to have an access road included in a federal highway bill. It's the same sort of creative spending that turns a day at the mall into "shopping therapy."

The Citizens Against Government Waste also took issue with the plans to widen Talbotton Road across Columbus. A $735,000 federal allocation for the project was declared pork. Maybe group members actually drove down this road - and when they saw all the medical offices, they decided the doctors could afford to pay for the work.

But local leaders took issue with a couple of items in the Pig Book. It shows the Liberty Theatre is receiving $235,000 for "at-risk youth initiatives." But a theatre manager claims it hasn't received federal money since 1998. Hmmmm - so who's doing the laundry here, if you know what I mean?

(The youth initiative apparently is the Liberty Theatre's after-school arts program. Better to act upon a stage, then act up in a classroom....)

The Pig Book also pointed its piggy pinky finger at the Urban League of Greater Columbus. Its "Youth Advocacy Program" was declared $70,500 of federal pork. You almost get the feeling the NAACP or Rainbow/PUSH Coalition leaders nominated this.

Reginald Pugh of the Urban League denied the Youth Advocacy Program is pork-barrel spending. But then again, have you ever heard anyone actually admit his agency or project actually IS pork-barrel spending? You're more likely to get a confession from a drunk in a bar....

But anyway: Reginald Pugh challenged the Citizens Against Government Waste to come to Columbus and see what the Youth Advocacy Program does. Pugh had better be careful, and not ask for government grant money to pay for the trip.

If you think Columbus is a pork-filled place, check the Pig Book's list for Auburn. Nine separate projects are listed, including more than $870.000 to figure out the genome of catfish. Pro bass fishermen across the country are waiting breathlessly for this - but who else?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our mentions of Liftech over the last couple of years apparently are showing up in online searches. Another customer's story reached us Wednesday....

My husband paid Liftech and Mitch Baria over $8,000.00 to repair the foundation on our home.

My floors are starting to sag and bow and the front wall is no longer attached to my home, the doors in the front no longer will shut. It is in worse shape now than it was when they started.

If you manage to get your money back, please let me know how you accomplish that. My husband passed away in December and I am left with this botched job. If I could re-coup some of that money MAYBE

I could find another contractor to repair the damage liftech has done. What do you do with someone who is already incarcerated by the Feds?

Thanks,

Cathy C

Phenix City, Al

My condolences all around, Cathy - and indeed, it's hard to get money back from a contractor who's under arrest. Maybe you can stand with an empty bucket, outside the Liftech attorney's office.

Another e-mail isn't letting go of the Doctors Hospital murder case:

Why is the Ledger still making reference to the Dr's Hospt.shooter as a retired teacher?..He never was a certified classroom teacher..He was a classroom helper and a substitute. Even the all important editorial said,"retired teacher." Where is MCSD's PR person ?

From what another e-mailer tells us, Valerie Fuller has tried to set the record straight. Charles Johnston apparently was an off-and-on substitute teacher in Muscogee County schools, and last taught there last year. Of course, the chance of Johnston staying retired probably are much higher now.

Perhaps the Ledger-Enquirer is calling Charles Johnston a teacher because that's the last real job he had. The newspaper could go all way the back in Johnston's life, and call him a former Albany State football player.

Now for some current things which happened on a rather sticky Wednesday:

+ A city official told WRBL people who attend tonight's Strategic Planning Workshop will be given $1,000 in play money, to allocate as they desire on future city projects. Woo-hoo - that's five times than they give me on poker night!

+ WLTZ reported hundreds of Muscogee County voters mistakenly received letters declaring they could no longer vote, because they're convicted felons. The Election Board wife and the Police Chief husband may need to share some more lunches and dinners....

+ Lee County sheriff's officers announced a major drug sweep at Smiths Station High School found NO drugs at all. Isn't this wonderful news? Maybe these teenagers are learning about the dangers of illegal drugs - or maybe they're learning new places to hide their stashes.

+ The Georgia Senate voted to gut the "robo-call" bill we praised here in January [29 Jan]. So the computer calls offering me free cruises will keep on coming - when I'm really waiting for someone to offer me a free PT Cruiser.

+ The Georgia Senate also passed a resolution, urging President Bush to withdraw from an economic agreement with Canada and Mexico. Opponents of the agreement say it will lead to a loss of our national identity - as if there's a huge call to expand football fields to 110 yards long, with 25-yard end zones.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths held a home practice, to prepare for Friday night's make-or-break playoff game against Knoxville. A few players put on junior-size jerseys, with the mascot Boomer's name on them. If they wore Boomer's giant head as well, they might fake out the Knoxville defense and score some goals.

+ The Atlanta Hawks topped Toronto 127-120 in overtime. Believe it or not, the Hawks actually are going to sell playoff tickets. I mean for themselves, and not arena football's Georgia Force....

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 657 (+ 18, 2.8%)

TRUDGE REPORT, DAYS 32: Spring Cleaning, 105 minutes. Total: 101.35 miles run, 14.3 walked

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