13 MAY 07: BEAT THE CLOCK
If you remember an old TV game show with this title, you're showing your age. But if that's how you felt at times this weekend - join the crowd. In parts of Columbus, timing was everything. And I don't mean showing up late to the Chattahoochee Valley Community College commencement....
Case #1: Gas prices took a 12-cent jump in much of Columbus Friday afternoon, to the neighborhood of $2.88 a gallon. The first station to post regular unleaded at three dollars or higher should win a prize -- like a parade of drivers rolling around the store, but not stopping.
I noticed this gas price jump as I drove down Victory Drive. The price was $2.87 across from the Civic Center - but on down the road, it was lower. I pulled into a Spectrum at North Lumpkin Road showing $2.76. And I was just in time, as the manager walked out to change the price as I filled up! Maybe I should change careers, and start trading stock options.
"Thanks for waiting a few minutes," I told the manager as he adjusted the magnetic numbers on the gas sign. It was a good thing I paid at the pump - because if I had walked inside and left a credit card first, the staff members might have programmed the change while I stood in line.
By the way: you may have received e-mail urging you NOT to buy gas on Tuesday, in a protest of high prices. If you really think this is going to work, I have a question -- why isn't there a big slump on the day after Christmas?
Case #2: Postage rates officially go up today. A first-class stamp now costs 41 cents -- but give the Postal Service a bit of a break. At least they tell you the increase is coming well in advance, instead of pulling a surprise at 2:00 on a Friday afternoon.
I paid off my bills in record time over the last few days, to beat the increase in postage rates. Two credit card bills came Thursday, and they went out to the mailbox Friday. The natural gas bill arrived Friday, and it went out Saturday. If any bills arrive Monday, I'm going to assume those places are conspiring with the Postal Service.
The race to save money on postage continued right up to Saturday afternoon. I handle the "tape ministry" at church, and had to duplicate six cassettes of the sermon to mail to places across the South and Midwest. Our machinery only handles one tape at a time, so it made me feel a bit like a NASCAR pit crew.
The duplication went quickly, and the main post office is within a mile of where we worship - so I was able to drop off the tapes before the outside mailbox "last call" time of 5:45 p.m. I seldom ever say this publicly, but I'd like to thank my Pastor for ending his sermon on time and saving the church about 50 cents.
(It was quite a sacrifice, to duplicate those tapes - because it was "potluck day" at church. By the time I finally reached the buffet tables, the fried chicken was gone. Sometimes you have to simply be thankful for chicken salad, without the bread for a sandwich.)
Case #3: "Is that rain I'm hearing?" the Pastor asked late in his sermon. It actually was thunder, but a bit of rain came minutes later - so does that prove he has the gift of prophecy?
Some welcome rain came to the Columbus area Saturday - and in fact, I knew it was coming. I noted to friends at church the Southeastern Conference softball tournament is underway in Auburn, while the NCAA Division II regional softball tournament is in progress at South Commons. And as local residents know, there's nothing like a big softball event around here to bring a rainstorm.
The church service ended just in time for me to hurry out to the car and close the "heat release" crack in my window. It also allowed me to bring in the brownies I left in the car all afternoon - since brownies are better when they're warm, you know.
It turned out the Pastor had brought an umbrella to the service. You know we're in a region-wide drought when someone carrying an umbrella is considered an optimist....
(I tried to mention that to the Pastor's wife, but she had another concern on her mind. The umbrella was on top of a piano - and she told me: "He's going to forget that thing.")
Hopefully this rain came in time to save some crops for area farmers. Georgia Agriculture Commissioner Tommy Irvin said the other day this is the worst drought he's seen in 38 years - and as they might say on TV, it just isn't great if it's the worst in 38.
Case #4: This one doesn't apply to me, but it seemed the traffic was a bit heavier around Columbus Park Crossing Saturday. Either people were rushing to get Mother's Day gifts, or Hooter's was rebroadcasting that beauty contest which was on TV the other night.
Here's hoping all mothers have a nice day today. And for the singles like me whose mothers have departed and who don't have families, you know the drill. Avoid all the restaurants - and enjoy the National Heads-Up Poker Championship at 12:00 noon.
Case #5: Did you see Don Boynton on the Saturday night news? He received a degree in political science from Columbus State University - at age 77! If he'd waited any longer to work toward a degree, C.S.U. might have gone ahead and made him a history teacher.
(It's tempting to say Don Boynton took that old Bonnie Raitt song seriously - but I think "Scared We'll Run Out of Time" is more of a national anthem for yuppies.)
E-MAIL UPDATE: Last weekend an e-mailer made a number of complaints about a Columbus "megachurch." Now we have a point-by-point reply:
As an insider who was directed to this site to read the lies and slander beging told of Pastor Bill Purvis, I'd like to respond.
One writer is correct, Bill Purvis will probably never read a blog. However, my neighbor knows I am employed by a professional firm with information about him, so she asked my view. I believe that the writer named Mrs. Owens is very, very close to the truth in her response.
Now, to address some of the slander...
What if Pastor Purvis was not even at the Ritz Carlton in North Georgia on a retreat with staff almost 2 years ago but was instead speaking for the New York Life Insurance Company in Macon, GA at the time alleged, and upon arrival to Columbus he conducted a funeral for a young man whom he'd led to Christ, that died in his parents home. All of this can be verified by all church staff, the employees of the insurance company, and the family of the deceased. Would this make the accusations against him now true or false? How reliable is his accuser now?
What if when Pastor Purvis discovered that one of his top staff did take several staff to the Ritz-Carlton, that person is no longer employed at the Church, he was angered by the misconduct enough to pay the bill himself? How reliable is the accuser now?
What if Pastor Purvis personally paid for the New York trip which aired the RealTime broadcast with his own personal credit card from his own funds? I suspect the accuser himself enjoyed the benefits since only they could have known this. How credible is his accuser now?
What if Pastor Purvis' wife, who drove a Chevy for the past 5 years, received a large settlement from her deceased father's estate last year when his second wife died and she chose to buy a 2005 Hummer for herself? (we handled it) Why is that a sin? How reliable is his accuser now?
What if Pastor Purvis, whose personal company with one product alone distributing several thousand monthly leadership materials to subscribers at $15.00 a month (do the math here: 1,000=$15,000, 2,000=$30,000) generated much of his income, would that be a sin? I personally think it's very smart and wish I would have thought of it myself.
What if Pastor Purvis, who's known to be one of the highest tithers in his church and one of the most generous givers in the area, still lived well below his means and ability, would that be worth anything to anyone?
What if I knew for a fact that he has paid a price in many ways to help people either financially, spiritually, in loss of privacy and other ways, and has turned away larger opportunities for "career" moves, is that worth anything?
What if the accuser, who is deliberately attacking a person who led a church from 32 people to its present state, had instead chosen to do something worthwhile with their own life?
S. Brown
It's nice to see someone had time to research all these points. With so many issues coming up here, I was about to wonder if Pastor Bill Purvis was planning to run for Mayor of Hurtsboro.
I didn't realize Bill Purvis was in such demand as a speaker that he'd appear before a life insurance company. After all, isn't he supposed to be preaching about a different sort of "life insurance" -- one that's eternal, and money can't buy?
So it's Debbie Purvis who drives a Hummer?! How many Army wives does she attract to Bible studies from Fort Benning with that - or is the family grocery bill that big?
(There are some people who might point fingers at Debbie Purvis for having a Hummer - the ones who say Christians should be environmentally conscious, and drive fuel-efficient vehicles. Yet I'm still looking for a church with a big wall of electric plugins in the parking lot.)
Yes, it's smart of Pastor Bill Purvis to sell a product to subscribers for 15 dollars a month. I tried to sell something like this blog a few years ago for five dollars a month, and it flopped - so maybe I offered too big a discount.
We'll see if this reply stops the debate, or only fuels more. But related to it, an Instant Message to whomever is spreading stories about a "pending trial" involving an extortion plot against Cascade Hills Church or Bill Purvis: Why is there NO record of the case at the District Attorney's office? Or did you think no one would bother to check?
Let's move on to other topics - and Mrs. Purvis should be careful about how fast she drives her Hummer:
Woodland ,GA is notorious for being a speed trap for years..Guess what county Woodland is in?....If you guessed Talbot you are right...To be safe in Woodland go 10mph below the posted speed limit,but then again the swat team might get you for going too slow...
So is Woodland where that Talbotton City Councilor was stopped for speeding and drunk driving several weeks ago? Has anyone from Woodland been stopped in Talbotton since then - to spark an exchange on the order of Israeli and Palestinian prisoners?
Our last e-mail may have been dampened a bit by Saturday's storms:
I'm sure you saw this, but just in case ...
Two days after CSU is reported (by our correspondent) for watering violations, they are announced as the host of a water conservation forum.
"A third series of town hall meetings to discuss the statewide water planning effort includes meetings this month in Columbus and Albany.
The meetings, conducted by The Georgia Water Council, also will give the public an opportunity to ask questions about the Comprehensive State Water Management Plan being developed and to offer comment on the project.
The Columbus meeting will be 6-8 p.m. Tuesday, May 29, at Columbus State University's Founders Hall, 4225 University Ave."...
Glad you are on the mend. Sorry that you've been keeping all the water in your lungs, I could use it on my tomatoes.
Bruce
Perhaps the water conservation meeting will be BYOB - bring your own bucket.
The good news is that I'm healing well - and I didn't cough much at all Saturday. In fact, I think I sneezed more than I coughed. Eating one bag of microwave popcorn seemed to give me a cold - so I hope it wasn't seasoned with any of that strange plastic stuff from China.
As for that fluid on my lungs: I'm really hoping no crimes occur in my neighborhood for a while. I've left so much spit on lawns around my home, Columbus police detectives could find my DNA almost anywhere.
Now let's check other items, on a weekend when sports seemed to grab my attention more than anything:
+ The Columbus Chamber of Commerce held its annual golf tournament. I haven't heard who won - but I assume Mike Gaymon was near the top, thanks to plenty of "gimmes" from Chamber members seeking discounts.
+ The Columbus Lions lashed Augusta 56-37, to take a three-game lead in indoor football. One Augusta player was so upset by a tackle on a kickoff that he punched a Columbus player in the face. How you can confuse hockey with indoor football, I have no idea....
+ Basketball legend Dominique Wilkins signed autographs at a bank on Bradley Park Drive. He's probably grown used to this routine - if only for the children he's fathered in several N.B.A. cities.
+ Major league baseball had an unusual "all-Columbus" moment, when Toronto's Frank Thomas homered off Tampa Bay pitcher Edwin Jackson. If Thomas can remain a designated hitter another ten years, he might get to do the same thing off Kyle Carter.
+ Hardaway High School champion wrestler Brandon Porter signed a scholarship commitment with Iowa's Waldorf College. I hope someone told him that's NOT where the fancy top-dollar hotel is....
+ Away from sports, our "Burkard Bulk Mail Index" of spam dropped below the 3,000 mark. The number hasn't been this low in years. Are spam filters and e-mail laws working that much better - or am I the only person in the U.S. who hasn't bought a look-alike Rolex watch?
COMING MONDAY: Why one man says a local elected official "needs to be thumped on the head...."
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