24 MAY 07: J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

That was the big announcement from the Columbus Airport Commission Wednesday. It was surprising that they didn't fly down quarterback Chad Pennington and a few New York Jets cheerleaders, to make it a complete celebration....

Airport Commissioner Don Cook told WRBL Delta and Atlantic Southeast Airlines will switch from turboprop planes to jets in the next few weeks. Do you realize what a big deal this is? Columbus Metropolitan Airport will finally enter the 1970's.

(Looking at it another way: right now the closest "jets" to the Columbus Airport are the engines at the Pratt and Whitney factory - and the sports teams of South Georgia Technical College in Americus.)

And here's the even more amazing thing: Don Cook says Delta and ASA are making this upgrade to jet planes while lowering the price of flights. He noted a flight from Columbus to Atlanta now costs between 50 and 100 dollars - as if people simply fly from Columbus to Atlanta. The price of gasoline for the interstate drive isn't THAT expensive yet.

I checked a well-known travel web site Wednesday night, for flights to my hometown of Kansas City. A midweek round trip would cost $274 from Atlanta, $282 from Montgomery, and $335 from Columbus. How did Montgomery get such a price advantage - by being in the Central time zone?

Don Cook says ASA's switch to jet planes should result in more efficient service. He adds service should be faster as well - and I suppose that extra five minutes walking through the Atlanta concourses could come in handy.

The switch to jet engines could mean an even bigger gain. Don Cook says it will play a key role in bringing American Airlines to the Columbus Airport. Things right now are at the point that for many local men, "American Airlines" means you have a pair of aces in your poker hand.

Don Cook says a decision is expected by July about whether American Airlines will begin service to Columbus. But he declared: "They are doing everything they can.... and we are doing the same...." So if you see executives on both sides holding candlelight dinners at Bludau's, please understand....

All in all, Don Cook seemed much more optimistic Wednesday than the last time I saw him on TV. Back in February, he complained to Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue that ASA's service was poor [4 Feb]. You don't think there's a mysterious line in the state budget about "jet education," do you?!

When I moved to Columbus ten years ago, the airport had three airlines. Currently it stands at one. But we shouldn't worry too much. Federal officials warn the Atlanta area will need a second airport in about 20 years, and we'll be ready.

Now let's adjust our seats to an upright position, to check other Wednesday headlines:

+ Columbus city swimming pools opened for the summer. I saw TV coverage of this, and was stunned -- because the water levels have NOT been lowered by one to two feet because of the drought.

+ Valley, Alabama canceled a fireworks show planned for this weekend, because of the statewide fire alert. If we don't get some rain soon, "Wanda the Bang-Bang Lady" in Russell County may have to put on a Western outfit and fire toy pistols.

+ Farmers in every Georgia county except one were allowed to begin applying for federal disaster assistance, from the early-April freeze. The exception is Clay County - where I guess all those gas-guzzling drivers have produced the worst example of global warming in the state.

+ The LaGrange Daily News reported on a teenager who organized the first "World Finger Jousting" tournament. It had about 15 spectators, eight contestants and three trained referees. When a high school junior draws better numbers in LaGrange than I did last year with a statewide frisbee tour, I know I was in the wrong business.

+ A federal judge in Atlanta sentenced former Coca-Cola secretary Joya Williams to eight years in prison, for attempting to sell Coke's trade secrets to Pepsi. If only she'd offered them to the National Enquirer or the Drudge Report....

+ Instant Message to the caller who claimed if I dialed the Columbus NAACP voice mail number, I would hear the word "struggle": Yes, you're right - the message ended with, "The struggle for justice continues." But what about the sentence before that? "Keep your head to the sky, and he will support your feet." I didn't realize Bill Madison could do that.

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: New complaints about a Columbus company....

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 2556 (+ 76, 3.1%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.