10 MAY 07: ZONE DEFENSE

"I got a speeding ticket," the man admitted to several people at church the other day. This is a congregation which doesn't have one of those little private rooms, for spilling these things out on a minister....

Speeding tickets happen all the time, you say?! Well, this man described his ticket as a bit unusual. "He got me for going over the speed limit in a school zone -- which I was, only it was spring break." A break for students and teachers, maybe -- but apparently not for police.

This man explained he was driving to work one morning in early April, when a Columbus police officer stopped him for going 42 miles per hour in a school zone. But the Muscogee County School spring break was the first week in April. Why would school zone rules apply, when school is out of session? Unless Youth Detention Center students were there for a field trip....

Some of the man's friends told him he should fight the speeding ticket in court. For instance: were there flashing school zone lights on a day when school is out of session? Most Muscogee County schools are good about keeping them off -- to save those energy costs for expensive bus fuel.

Besides, were any children around the school on a morning during spring break? Wouldn't most of them still be in bed at around 7:30 a.m.? And if they're awake, wouldn't they be corrupting themselves by watching "The Daily Buzz" on TV-66?

But to borrow from an old song, this man decided NOT to "fight the powers that be." He chose to pay the ticket for around $120 -- in part because he actually DID break the speed limit for a school zone. A guilt complex can be a police officer's best friend....

This speeder also may not have wanted to go through the trouble of going to traffic court. But I've heard stories over the years of offenders getting out of their tickets, because law officers failed to show up for the hearings. As the late Johnnie Cochran might have put it: If police don't show, you're good to go.

As it happens, the Wednesday evening news also focused on school zones - but on the opposite side of the issue. It found people sometimes drive 15 miles over the speed limit on school days, near Sherwood Elementary in Phenix City. This is the WRONG way of encouraging students to run for exercise.

Phenix City schools apparently used to have crossing guards, but they were eliminated in a budget cut a couple of years ago. So why aren't students trained to do it? That's what happened in my old grade school years ago - and I confess I was a little jealous of their shiny badges. Not to mention the few extra minutes they were given, to show up for class....

The principal of Sherwood Elementary sent out letters to parents at the start of the school year, urging them to honor school zone speed limits. But I suspect the parents aren't the problem. It's everyone else hurrying down Idle Hour Drive - and if they're hurrying, maybe it's time this street had a name change....

If there's any good news in all of this, the school year is almost over. Unless, of course, no one bothers telling Columbus Police officers - then I'd watch my speed around schools, even on Independence Day.

P.S. I used to laugh at a daily newspaper in my hometown. Every year it had a full-page ad in late August alerting you: "School's open -- drive carefully." Then another ad appeared in May: "School's out - drive carefully." Who knows how many drivers canceled their subscriptions, because the paper wouldn't let them have any fun?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our water-based questions of Tuesday brought this reaction:

Good morning...thanks for the blog about the watering of lawns..as with so many laws it is shot with loopholes for the rich and famous....I'm glad you reported CSU for misuse of water as thousands of gallons per wk must run down the gutters of University Ave.,perhaps that is why tuition went up.. May the wind blow at your back as you trek dow the Riverwalk...May the bums on Veterans Parkway not leave a lingering odor as you drive them for a meal..May your cough vanish from you life as did Curtis' shotgun...May your blog remain popular now and forever.....thanks again....

I don't drive past Columbus State University that often, so I don't know how much sprinkler water is flowing there. But come to think of it, the C.S.U. campus benefits from being big - because the buildings can have both odd and even-numbered addresses.

And thank YOU for a local twist on the "Irish Blessing" Jim Foster likes to say every morning on WSHE-AM. But about that wind blowing at my back - that works great heading out in the winter, but I haven't found a way to avoid it chilling my face on the return trip home.

And it's always nice to hear from new readers....

I just discovered your blog. What an impressive sense of humor you have. You're fearless! I moved to Columbus in 1988, from Birmingham, and also have seen the changes of which you write. I'll keep tabs on your footsteps in Columbus as you continue blogging.....

Anna Roman

Fearless? ME?!?! I don't dare break the speed limit around the Public Safety Center - much less a school zone.

Our thanks to all who read and write - and now let's check some Wednesday headlines:

+ The first name of the Atlantic hurricane season will pulled out, for "subtropical storm Andrea." Those of you who remember old Columbus TV reporters probably will want this storm's wind speed checked carefully -- with an Andrea Gage.

+ The political group VoteVets announced former Fort Benning Commander Paul Eaton will appear in a TV commercial, opposing President Bush's Iraq policy. Somewhere in Columbus, the retired Major General's name is being erased from the "God Bless Fort Benning" invitation list.

+ A new Piggly Wiggly store opened on Second Avenue in Opelika, where Kroger used to be. If customers think this is an improvement, they may be disappointed - because for one thing, the dairy case won't sound "moo" anymore when someone picks up a jug of milk. [True!]

+ Glenwood felled Faith Academy 4-2, and can win the AISA Alabama baseball title today. A Glenwood championship would almost be demonic - because the Bible tends to put down people of "little Faith."

+ Instant Message to Jim Devitt: Have you retired? I don't hear you present the 11:00 p.m. weather updates on WLTZ anymore. And your replacement certainly doesn't know how to put a funny line between his first and last names.

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